trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jonathan D.) (08/14/86)
Here is a brief quiz to determine if you are what you claim to be.
You have 20 minutes. All reference materials must be properly
footnoted. Go!
1) How did the man with one red shoe eat his pizza?
2) What is the holy incantation of the Pretzel Lords?
(also, how is this phrase evoked?)
3) A man is walking at a speed 3000 cubits/week down the corridor of a
starship (of course, relative to the front of the ship) with
the ship travelling at .97843c towards the planet Skiron in the galaxy
of Andromeda. Another astronaut, who is prone to mischief,
throws a rotted kiwi fruit at the man at a velocity of .47
farads/hour in an attempt to discredit himself (farads are a
valid measuring unit if you can measure the capacitance of the
medium, which in this case, 12). My question is "Who am I?"
I had a dream like this last week.
4) What is not a good thing to ask?
5) How many aardvarks does it take to get to Milwaukee?
6) If a president was allergic to ink, when could dimetrodons be
elected to congress?
7) What two famous books did Larry Niven write about an actress?
8) If a doughnut were really a donut, how would Bob and Doug
McKenzie survive?
9)
10) Finish the following limerick:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the Kings men...
The answers should be the next message. Good luck. --
Jonathan D. Trudel arpa: trudel@topaz.rutgers.edu
uucp:{seismo,allegra,ihnp4,pyrnj,pyramid}!topaz!trudel
Don't expect perferction unless you can provide it yourselftrudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jonathan D.) (08/14/86)
HERE THEY ARE!!!! Hot off the swap space! Ratings are at the end of
the answers:
1) Just like everyone else.
2) Salt, Salt, Twist and Bake (so the order of production may be
wrong, but who's going to argue with the Pretzel Lords?) The hand
gestures are synced with saying of each word, and they are:
Salt, Salt: a) right hand makes 2 exaggerated salting gestures
Twist: b) both hands now spin around each other (much in the fashion
a football referee does when calling "illegal procedure"*)
and Bake: c) right arm fully extends as if placing a baking
sheet in an oven
3) I am who I am and that's all that I am. I'm Popeye the Sailor
Man! (award yourselves two points if you tooted twice)
4) True. A better question is Why.
5) 37 per person. You just have to have enough gorgonzola cheese
to harness their energy properly.
6) Don't be absurd. Dimetrodons are extinct, silly.
7) Molly Ringwald, and Molly Ringwald Engineers.
(apologies to stev@bu-cs)
8) By eating donuts, hoser!
9) You have ESP if you have to read this to figure it out.
10) "Went home because Mr. Dumpty was pronounced dead at the
scene. Film at 11."
Scoring:
37: Well done, for a cheater! Cut it out!!! Grow up and score
yourself properly.
11+: I don't think you should be given any more sharp objects.
9-10: Congradulations! You are what I would call a "class A bozo"
7-8: You must have looked at the answers first.
5-6: Ok, so you've got some hope.
3-4: You're bizarre. Satisfied????????
1-2: Keep trying. You'll get there someday.
0-: Get out! Who needs you! Unsubscribe right now!!!
--
Jonathan D. Trudel arpa: trudel@topaz.rutgers.edu
uucp:{seismo,allegra,ihnp4,pyrnj,pyramid}!topaz!trudel
Don't expect perferction unless you can provide it yourselfkaufman@nike.uucp (Bill Kaufman) (08/15/86)
In article <5561@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU> trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jonathan D.) writes: >4) What is not a good thing to ask? Questions 1) thru 10), excluding 4). -Annoyingly, Bilbo. ___________________________________________________________________________ / DISCLAIMER: If I had an opinion, do you think I'd let my employers know? \ |E-MAIL: kaufman@orion.arpa or kaufman@orion.arc.nasa.gov | |FLAMES: There are no flames. Re-check your opinions. |QUOTE: "I'M NOT ON DRUGS! I WAS JUST THINKING! MOM, JUST GET ME A PEPSI, | | OK?" -Suicidal Tendencies, "Institutionalized" | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
jdw@tybalt.caltech.edu.Caltech.Edu (John d Woolverton) (08/15/86)
In article <5561@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU> trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jonathan D.) writes: >Here is a brief quiz to determine if you are what you claim to be. >You have 20 minutes. > >5) How many aardvarks does it take to get to Milwaukee? If you are from Fresno, I don't think aardvarks would help you get anywhere. jdw@tybalt
slouie@ernie.Berkeley.EDU (Screwy Louie) (08/16/86)
In article <904@cit-vax.Caltech.Edu> jdw@tybalt.caltech.edu.UUCP (John d Woolverton) writes: >In article <5561@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU> trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jonathan D.) writes: >>Here is a brief quiz to determine if you are what you claim to be. >>You have 20 minutes. >> >>5) How many aardvarks does it take to get to Milwaukee? > >If you are from Fresno, I don't think aardvarks would help you get anywhere. > >jdw@tybalt Actually, it depends on how many aardvarks you're riding, what percentage of them are in actuality illegal aliens in really small costumes, and how many INS cops are hanging about. Besides, I hear you can get 2 miles/15 aardvarks (Better than using squirrels). Sooner or later, you've gotta get SOMEWHERE. Boing! Boing! Boing! Don't you love the sound of an article bouncing around the net? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -The Mad Hobbit- ARPA: slouie@{ernie,cory}.Berkeley.EDU UUCP: ucbvax!{ernie,cory}!slouie USnail: 2398 Parker #7, Berkeley, Ca 94704 Disclaimer: You really gonna believe this? I've got some beachland... "I hear the USSR will be open soon as vacationland for lawyers in love" -Jackson Browne-