[talk.bizarre] A Sane Man Verifies The Kenmore Trans-Dimensional Rift

gts@axiom.UUCP (Guy Schafer) (09/14/86)

I have some supporting evidence for Kenmore station being located on a
trans-dimensional rift:
If you take the number 57 Kenmore Limited in from Brighton Center, you
will find that the stairs that are right in front of the bus, the ones
closest and most inviting, don't go down to the T at all.  I mean, here
are these stairs that seem to be beckoning "Take me!" but alas, walk down
them and you will find yourself BACK AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS!
Anyone who's been there can back me up on this.

I also have a theory that if tokens were 50 cents (i.e., 2 for a buck)
instead of 60 cents, Boston would have only 70% of its current mass;
30% of Boston's mass is in the form of the quarters, nickles and dimes
that T-token sellers must hand out all day.  Perhaps this mass reduction
would be sufficient to allow some people to achieve escape velocity thus
resulting in a further mass reduction, and so on until Boston completely
disappeared.  I haven't done the math yet, but in the meantime DON'T BUY
A T-PASS OR YOUR HOME MAY BE WIPED OUT!

	>< ...{ decvax!linus | seismo!harvard }!axiom!gts

	"No hoary falsehood shall be a truth to me;
	no stifling dogma shall encramp my pen!"
	--The Book of Satan.  I:7.