gts@axiom.UUCP (Guy Schafer) (09/10/86)
Some mysteries of life:
- Why does that black lace garter belt turn me on so much?
- What happended to my scissors?
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
- Want to go to the cape this weekend?
- Why does the ILGWU recommend Woolite?
- You want hamburgers tonight?
- Isn't that the woman who used to play Shirley on 'Laverne & Shirley?'
- If you're so smart, why don't you do it?
- Who's he?
- Why doesn't MacDonald's take American Express?
- Which came first: the bacon or the eggs?
- What do you mean?
And, of course:
- Is nothing sacred?
>< ...{ decvax!linus | seismo!harvard }!axiom!gts
"No hoary falsehood shall be a truth to me;
no stifling dogma shall encramp my pen!"
--The Book of Satan. I:7.trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jonathan D.) (09/11/86)
>From: ...!axiom!gts > Some mysteries of life: > - Want to go to the cape this weekend? No, I think that the cape will will come to me this time. > - You want hamburgers tonight? Yes, but I'll settle for pizza. > - Isn't that the woman who used to play Shirley on 'Laverne & Shirley?' So? She's gotta eat too, you know!!! > - If you're so smart, why don't you do it? Now, if I've gotten you to do it, how smart does that make me??? > - Why doesn't MacDonald's take American Express? Better still, why don't they accept Burger King coupons? > - Which came first: the bacon or the eggs? Obviously, you have someone else make your breakfast. Wake up and smell the coffee! > - What do you mean? I mean, really! > And, of course: > - Is nothing sacred? Not even your stupid posting :-) What bothers me is that he didn't ask the obvious question: Why do people have to announce their sanity to the rest of the net? The only person your sanity matters to is yourself. If you can't handle yourself, who can? "And the machine kept saying 'Mike, Mike, are you alright? Are you on drugs????!?!?!?!?' And Mike said 'No, machine, I'm all right. I just want a Pepsi. Can you get me a Pepsi?'" "All Micheal J. Fox wanted was a Pepsi, and the machine wouldn't give it to him!!! All Micheal J. Fox wanted was a Pepsi, and the MACHINE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO HIM!!!" INSTITUTION! "I'm not crazy! INSTITUTION! You're driving me crazy! INSTITUTION!..." -- Jonathan D. Trudel arpa: trudel@topaz.rutgers.edu uucp:{seismo,allegra,ihnp4,pyrnj,pyramid}!topaz!trudel Don't expect perfection unless you join the RLRCLC
kaufman@nike.uucp (Bill Kaufman) (09/12/86)
In article <317@axiom.UUCP> gts@axiom.UUCP (Guy Schafer) writes: >Some mysteries of life: > >- Why does that black lace garter belt turn me on so much? It's the way I wear it,... >- What happended to my scissors? Probably the same thing that happens to ballpoint pens, and socks in the dryer. >- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Yeah, but, how much "up" could an,... >- Want to go to the cape this weekend? No, I've got plans with Oleg,... >- Why does the ILGWU recommend Woolite? Wouldn't you if the Woolite corp. threatened bodily harm? >- You want hamburgers tonight? My place or yours? (or McD.'s?) >- Isn't that the woman who used to play Shirley on 'Laverne & Shirley?' No, that's "Laverne". >- If you're so smart, why don't you do it? Yeah? Just LET me! >- Who's he? An old friend of the family. >- Why doesn't MacDonald's take American Express? Oh! So THAT'S why you're offering to take me out for burgers! (Probably a stolen credit card, too!) >- Which came first: the bacon or the eggs? Neither. I'm trying to stay away from cholesterol. (sp?) >- What do you mean? Ah,...what do YOU think I mean? >And, of course: >- Is nothing sacred? Sure. Kathy Li is. (see net.comics) -Annoyingly, Bilbo. ___________________________________________________________________________ / DISCLAIMER: If I had an opinion, do you think I'd let my employers know? \ |E-MAIL: kaufman@orion.arpa or kaufman@orion.arc.nasa.gov | |FLAMES: There are no flames. Re-check your opinions. | |QUOTE: "Ask yourself, What would RANDOLPH SCOTT do?" - Black Bart. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
kaufman@nike.uucp (Bill Kaufman) (09/18/86)
In article <218@wolf.UUCP> billw@wolf.UUCP (Bill Wisner) writes: >>> gts@axiom.UUCP (Guy Schafer) >> kaufman@nike.UUCP (Me!) > >>> - Which came first: the bacon or the eggs? >> Neither. I'm trying to stay away from cholesterol. (sp?) > >That (sp?) sorta spoiled the entire effect, dontcha think? Why? Is (sp?) high in cholesterol? -Annoyingly, Bilbo. ___________________________________________________________________________ / DISCLAIMER: If I had an opinion, do you think I'd let my employers know? \ |E-MAIL: kaufman@orion.arpa or kaufman@orion.arc.nasa.gov | |FLAMES: There are no flames. Re-check your opinions. | |QUOTE: "Ask yourself, What would RANDOLPH SCOTT do?" - Black Bart. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
guritzky@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Guritzky) (09/26/86)
:: You know, I think some McDonalds will honor any fast-food coupons with :: the equivalent product. Can anybody support or refute? We have a McD's here that will take anyone's coupons. (Or so their window posters claim) --Ron