[talk.bizarre] feminism, abortion, Kiki Herbst, what God wants

oaf@mit-vax.UUCP (Oded Feingold) (10/04/86)

>>>As we develop our life with God as the center, we begin 
>>>to approach life in a different way: The way God approaches life.  
>>>Now imagine the ideal situation where everybody reacted to life in 
>>>this way, wanted the best for others.  If everybody lived their
>>>lives in that way, I think we'd have a pretty good idea of what
>>>heaven is like.			[Kiki Herbst]

>>	The intention is a nice one, but the idea frightens me.
>>	[Various mealymouthed reluctances.]
>>					Robert A. Pease

>That is exactly my point in why we should base our decisions on what
God >wants.
		    ------------------------------

Dear Kiki,

    I just got the word through an unimpeachable source whose identity
I am not at liberty to divulge at this  time (because  to do so  would
interfere with His holy works,) but have no reason to  doubt the vera-
city of what I am about to impart, and I retransmit it to  you and the
net with complete confidence that it will effect a miracle  in the joy
and worldwide happiness attendant upon reading USENET.  Read it  care-
fully, since the forces of evil are even now massing their weapons and
threatening this humble messenger's  very account,  and  this  message
cannot be repeated:  I  mean,  this is  important  stuff  I  have been
entrusted to tell the Lord's children, and I only pray  that my effort
is not too late.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
****			    WHAT GOD WANTS			  ****

God wants us to edit our newsgroups lines when we post.

God wants  us to  post articles on abortion to   talk.abortion, NOT to
	soc.women.

God  wants us not  to post to  any newsgroup except talk.religion.misc
	about what God wants, because God knows that we have no way of
	knowing what God wants, so we may as well talk only about what
	WE want without filtering God's desires through our own preju-
	dices and misconceptions.

God wants  me to wonder  how anyone can run around  talking about what
	God wants, thereby  avoiding any  apparent responsibility  for
	deciding what she  wants, unless she  is faking something big-
	time.

God wants us to know that if we see a  bumper sticker saying  "Honk if
	you love Jesus" it is a bad idea to honk to express an opinion
	about Jesus because it will annoy the turkey who put the bump-
	er  sticker  on  as well  as everyone else   in  the vicinity.
	However, it is just  fine to  honk  to annoy the turkey simply
	for being a turkey, for God told Man to be fruitful and multi-
	ply, and to rule over the beasts of the field and the birds of
	the air,  and that includes the  turkeys  who buy  such bumper
	stickers.  Of course, God understands that innocent bystanders
	will also be annoyed,  but He has  wisely created traffic cops
	to impose some constraint on how much we may annoy the turkeys
	within city limits, for  God's wisdom comprehends   full  well
	that thou shalt not make  an  omelette without breaking  eggs.
	God only wishes they were turkey  eggs, so such moral dilemmas
	shall be fewer in  number in the future,  when the generations
	a-coming (hallelujah) won't have so many turkeys to deal with.
	But God knows full  well that such things take  time, and  the
	turkeys are showing more resilience than expected, and  may be
	with us for a long time yet.

			 BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
**********************************************************************
God wants everyone to know that Kiki Herbst doesn't really exist, that
	that  persona has been taken over by the wicked fallen  angel,
	FRED KARAHALIOPOLIS  of  "Good advise" fame,  exiled from UIUC
	because of unspeakable offenses against Cheryl Stewart's blood
	pressure and the sanctity of the Holy net itself.  So any sub-
	stantive responses ain't gonna make it folks - ya dig?
**********************************************************************

Ken Arndt his very self wants me to  post  this message  so he doesn't
	get in any more trouble.  He's Christian so  he must be right,
	and I know (because I looked.)

-- 
Oded A. Feingold   MIT AI Lab  545 Tech Square  Cambridge, Mass. 02139
{allegra|ihnp4!mit-eddie}!mit-vax!oaf  OAF@OZ.AI.MIT.EDU  617-253-8598