gts@axiom.UUCP (Guy Schafer) (10/07/86)
IBM CRASHES AS AMWAY DISTRIBUTORS CLEAN UP
by Guy T. Schafer, staff reporter
NEW YORK-- Wall Street analysts now believe that computer
programs are responsible not only for the massive sell-off last Friday
which caused the 1000 point decline, but also for ordering more than
4.3 billion dollars worth of Amway products from local distributors.
Dr. William Gerrard, spokesman for Wallware, a major supplier of software
for brokerage houses, hesitates to classify the turn of events as a 'bug.'
"I rather suspect," he claimed, "that the programs simply see IBM as a
little too shakey right now and recognize cheap shampoo as a real-world
commodity worthy of investment."
Dr. Gerrard sells Amway on the side and grossed more than 2 billion dollars
due to Friday's market shift. He intends to invest in IBM stock claiming:
"Hell, the price has never been better." IBM is currently trading at 2 1/2.
>< ...{ decvax!linus || seismo!harvard }!axiom!gts
"Understand or leave."