gts@axiom.UUCP (Guy Schafer) (10/14/86)
+-----------------+ |Sane White Male | | looking for new | |.signature quote.| +-----------------+ How many times had I picked up the personals and found this pathetic plea? Oh god, can I ignore the anguished cries of my beloved fellow humans? OK, OK. Pity the man who was born with as great a gift as mine. O why am I such a compassionate man? For a limited time only, I will accept commisions on original works of art. That's right, now you can own an original Schafer .signature quote. Look at how some other collector's .signatures have appreciated: "Understand or leave." was issued at $19.95 and is now worth $65. "Gilt are the chains of god." Issue price: $25. Current value: $95. And the classic: "I have tasted my sister's menstrual blood as well as my own orgasmic emissions--the red with beef, the white with seafood." --The Cooks of Bokonon. 1:5 Issued at $22.50, now worth an incredible $685. [Not all .signatures go up in value. Some go down.] Get your order in early. Satisfaction guaranteed. If, for any reason, you decide not to use the Schafer .signature quote, just write to our customer relations dept. at /dev/null. Mail your requests to >< ...{ decvax!linus || seismo!harvard }!axiom!gts "Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the moooooooooooon?" --Dr. Wilbur Daffodil-11 Swain Final President of the United States of America.