[talk.bizarre] When did they sneek a Mormon onto the Net?

paco@homxc.UUCP (10/20/87)

In article <1004@puff.wisc.edu> mading@puff.wisc.edu (Eric Mading) writes:
>Caffiene is a stimulant, so we could just tax caffiene in sodas or
>coffee.  But most new sodas out today have no caffiene (I think
>only Pepsi, Coke, and RC Cola have caffiene) and decaf coffee is
>available, so the coffee industry would not object to a caffiene ban.
 [ and ... ]
>I would like to see a ban on tobacco, but there are two reasons
>that ...
>...for Virginia tobacco farms, the colonies might have perished.  Of
>course, this was 350 years before the dangers of smoking were known.
 [ and ... ]
>However, I think we should just leave our drug laws the way they
>are.  These netters who are posting that drugs should be legal are
>drug addicts who should check in to a rehab center. 

Either that's reaally funny shit, or else somebody ought to give
this asshole a UHF channel and an 800 number...  Seriously, this is
the same kind of twisted, pseudo-moralistic, diatribe that Mormons
have been pushing around for over a hundred years.

Next time you see a pair of pencil-necked geeks who look like
adolescent IBM executives riding ten-speed bikes, odds are about
seven to one that both have the same first name, ie. "Elder", and IF
you have a stomach for this kind of Real Life horror show, then
just stop, say hi to them, and smile.  Mormon missionaries respond 
to a mark faster than a horny whore on a Saturday night in the
middle of Grand Junction, CO.  Chances are good that the little
geeks will launch you into a sick tirade much akin to Junior
Mading's little display of Middle American insight faster than you
can say "I slept with Nancy Reagan."

Listen, I've dealt mano a mano with Moonies, upper level EST
directors, AT&T Vice Presidents, Jimmie Swaggart Bible College
students, US Army generals, Wham fans and Roman Catholic priests,
but the worst mental bastards of all have to be the devout Mormons.
If you're really lucky, one of your relatives will convert to being
LDS and then you'll get regular visits from "missionaries" all the
time for the rest of your relative's natural life.  Even if you
rough up a couple of the geeks now and then, they still keep coming
back to share more "Testimony".  So if we've got a live one on the
Net, oh golly geepers, can we ever have fun now... 

paco.
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ihnp4!homxc!paco    ...    201/61-L4PAW    ...

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Prosecutors will be violated.  In fact, I went to school with Andy
Freeman, and that's exactly why I chose to becum an axe murderers.

barth@ihlpl.UUCP (10/22/87)

In article <1797@homxc.UUCP> paco@homxc.UUCP (Paco X) writes:

>Listen, I've dealt mano a mano with Moonies, upper level EST
>directors, AT&T Vice Presidents, Jimmie Swaggart Bible College
>students, US Army generals, Wham fans and Roman Catholic priests,
>but the worst mental bastards of all have to be the devout Mormons.

Worse than AT&T Vice Presidents!?!  Surely you jest!


  888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
  88                                                                       88
  88  What's the ugliest part of your body?          Barth Richards        88
  88  What's the ugliest part of your body?          AT&T Bell Labs        88
  88  Some say your nose, some say your toes,        Naperville, IL        88
  88  But I think it's your mind....                 !ihnp4!ihlpl!barth    88
  88                                                                       88  
  88           -The Mothers of Invention                                   88
  88                                                                       88
  888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

slf@well.UUCP (10/23/87)

>but the worst mental bastards of all have to be the devout Mormons.
Odd.  This is supposed to be a topic about drug laws, but it suddenly
turned into a long, vicious diatribe about Mormons.  I like drugs, alcohol,
and caffeine as much as anybody (more than some :-)), but I respect the
right of somebody else to say they don't like it.  If they go beyond to
say that nobody else should be allowed to either, I will argue about that.
I won't, however, say that the other person belongs to some minority group
and then launch into an undeserved attack on that minority.  And no, I'm
not Mormon.

ram@elmgate.UUCP (10/23/87)

In article <4274@well.UUCP> slf@well.UUCP (Sharon Lynne Fisher) writes:
>>but the worst mental bastards of all have to be the devout Mormons.
---
With the possible exception of Right-Wing Neo-Fascist Racist Fundamentalist
Christians like Falwell, or Jerks like Jim & Tammy Bakker, or Oral Roberts.
What is more incredible that people actually beleive in these twisted
philosopies !  
---
>Odd.  This is supposed to be a topic about drug laws, but it suddenly
>turned into a long, vicious diatribe about Mormons.  I like drugs, alcohol,
>and caffeine as much as anybody (more than some :-)), but I respect the
>right of somebody else to say they don't like it.  If they go beyond to
>say that nobody else should be allowed to either, I will argue about that.
>I won't, however, say that the other person belongs to some minority group
>and then launch into an undeserved attack on that minority.  And no, I'm
>not Mormon.
---
I'll agree with you on that , except that the attack was not undeserved.
The Mormon deserved it alright.

I guess was pisses me off about some religious groups is that so many of them
insist vehemently that THEIR way is the only way, and that any other belief
set or philosophy is not only wrong, but ought to be a capital offense.
Mormons, Jehohovahs Witnesses, Fundamentalists, and a few others I can think
of are ALL in this category.  So, to a lesser exent, are Roman Catholics, but
at least there there seems to be some long overdue reform under way.  Maybe.

If i sit down and think about my circle of friends I can count Episcopalians,
Protestants, Methodists (including southern), Born-Again Christians, Jews
(reformed and orthodox), Muslims, Bahai, Atheists, Pantheists, Druids,
Wiccan, Pagans, Buddhists, Witches, Satanists, and a few (gasp!) Roman 
Catholics.  The reason for the diversity : all these people are willing to
be TOLERANT of the others.  Sure some of the religious discussions at my
parties get to be REAL interesting :-) :-) .

I have tried to get along with members of the other religious groups mentioned
above (i.e. Mormons etc.).  No dice.  Bunch of bastards, most of them.

BTW, and amusing story about Jehovahs Witnesses (johos).

One of my Witch friends (she is a worshiper of Isis), was being harrassed
by the local johos.  They were coming by every few days to bug her.
So the next time they came to see her, she was ready. Just word of note,
she is a VERY pretty lady, with long black hair and huge ... tracts of land.
So when she saw the joho's approaching, she wen't up stairs and put on a very
slinky black dress, low cut in front.  She answers the door, and the johos
are standing there with their usual fervent expressions on their faces.

She just smiled sweetly, and said to them "Oh ! Come right on in !  You must 
be the sacrifices !".

The johos broke the sound barrier running away from her door, and they never
bothered her again. :-) :-} :->

What I find most amusing about this incident, is that if you really understood
the worship of Isis, you would have immediately realized that she was putting
them on.  The johos were too stupid to look beyond the "traditional" image
of witchcraft, and so they got scared.

By the way, you will notice that I have not mentioned my religion.  The reason
for that is simple - I consider my religion to be a private matter, between
me and my God(s).  If you really want to know, I will be glad to talk to you
about it via e-mail.

Any way, enough of this diatribe.  Direct all subsequent flames to dev/null.

** IDENTITY: ******************************************************************
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jfh@killer.UUCP (10/23/87)

In article <4274@well.UUCP>, slf@well.UUCP (Sharon Lynne Fisher) writes:
> 
> >but the worst mental bastards of all have to be the devout Mormons.
> Odd.  This is supposed to be a topic about drug laws, but it suddenly
> turned into a long, vicious diatribe about Mormons.  I like drugs, alcohol,
> and caffeine as much as anybody (more than some :-)), but I respect the
> right of somebody else to say they don't like it.  If they go beyond to
> say that nobody else should be allowed to either, I will argue about that.
> I won't, however, say that the other person belongs to some minority group
> and then launch into an undeserved attack on that minority.  And no, I'm
> not Mormon.

I'm glad to see talk.bizarre in the subject linie, because Mormons like
many other cults are weird and truly deserve to be discussed in talk.bizarre.

On the one hand I recognize each individuals right to practice whatever
form of religion they wish.  But, since this is talk.bizarre and alt.flame,
I feel a certain amount of inhibition being lifted from me - and letting
my true disgust with Mormons come out.

So don't even bother flaming this one brothers, it ain't how I really feel,
its just, I've wanted to say this for so long ...

MORMONS AIN'T PEOPLE.

I think Mormons are a pseudo-Christian version of UFO watchers and Moonies
rolled into one big scary package.  These people believe in Holy Underwear.
For five years we had a collection of them coming to my house weekly trying
to save us from our non-Mormon ways.  Even after being told to take a hike,
or repent from their demonic ways, they still persisted.  Like Count
Dracula rising out of the grave every night to suck blood from the masses.

Moonies are a scary lot.  But most of the hang out on street corners selling
roses or living in airports stealing from the rich and giving to the richer,
but Mormons come to your house and bother you without being invited.

- John.
-- 
John F. Haugh II		HECI Exploration Co. Inc.
UUCP:	...!ihnp4!killer!jfh	11910 Greenville Ave, Suite 600
"Don't Have an Oil Well?"	Dallas, TX. 75243
" ... Then Buy One!"		(214) 231-0993

mmengel@cuuxb.UUCP (10/26/87)

In article <795@elmgate.UUCP> ram@elmgate.UUCP (The Man from Hades) writes: > [misc. lukewarm flamage]
>Any way, enough of this diatribe.  Direct all subsequent flames to dev/null.
>
>** IDENTITY: ******************************************************************
>                   The Man from Hades , A.K.A. Randy Martens

What do you mean /dev/null?!?!?  This is alt.flame! 

FLAME ON!!!! Get out your Asbestos Goggles...

You posted an article decrying members of various fundamentalist religions, 
get roasted for it, and this is the best you can do by way of a reply?!?! 

Phooey! 

Although since your last article demonstrates so clearly both your lack
of skill in composing even a lukewarm flame, as well as a ridiculous
tendency to generalize about groups of people based on a few bad 
examples; I suppose it was the best we could hope for.  I would expect
next to see articles from you about how "all blue-eyed people are 
obnoxious because all 15 blue eyed people I've met in the last month
have been", or "all women who wear too much eye makeup work in grocery
stores because all of the people I've met with too much eye makeup work
in grocery stores."   This is pure drivel.

Now if you were to dig out some basic, hidden tenet of one of the
religious groups involved that said that all members swear to
attempt to convert anyone they can as obnoxiously as possible, and
to be closed-minded and intolerant of other religions, and therefore
all of them act that way, then you might begin to demonstrate your
point; but I doubt, based on your previous postings, that you have 
the sense to find an actual basis in fact for your opinions.

FLAME OFF

Disclaimer:  I have never met Randy Martins, this article is based
	exclusively on the articles he has posted recently, and is
	not neccesarily even my opinion, much less that of anyone
	I work for or with.
-- 
 Marc Mengel	

 attmail!mmengel
 ...!{moss|lll-crg|mtune|ihnp4}!cuuxb!mmengel

roger@celtics.UUCP (10/26/87)

In article <4274@well.UUCP> slf@well.UUCP (Sharon Lynne Fisher) writes:
>I like drugs, alcohol, and caffeine as much as anybody (more than some :-)), 
>but I respect the right of somebody else to say they don't like it.

If you respect ANYTHING or ANYONE...

get the FUCK out of ALT.FLAME!
-- 
 ///==\\   (Your message here...)
///        Roger B.A. Klorese, CELERITY (Northeast Area)
\\\        40 Speen St., Framingham, MA 01701  +1 617 872-1552
 \\\==//   celtics!roger@necntc.nec.com - necntc!celtics!roger

miker@wjvax.UUCP (10/27/87)

in article <1846@celtics.UUCP>, roger@celtics.UUCP (Roger B.A. Klorese) says:
> Xref: wjvax alt.flame:31 talk.bizarre:6387
> In article <4274@well.UUCP> slf@well.UUCP (Sharon Lynne Fisher) writes:
>>I like drugs, alcohol, and caffeine as much as anybody (more than some :-)), 
>>but I respect the right of somebody else to say they don't like it.
> If you respect ANYTHING or ANYONE...
> get the FUCK out of ALT.FLAME!

oh roger, how witty , concise, meaningful, and truly juvenile.
such strong language shows a true lack of imagination and 
vocabulary. 

sharon, give me a call. 

roger, read reader's digest, its just your speed, it has a section 
on vocabulary improvement.

--- flame away you truculent neandrathal 
michael
-- 
====	*michael j ryan
	*{..!{hplabs,ucbvax,sun}!pyramid,..!decwrl!qubix}!wjvax!miker
	*Watkins-Johnson Co., san jose ca. : (408) 435 1400 x3079
	* above views are not necessarily those of Watkins-Johnson 

paco@homxc.UUCP (10/27/87)

In article <1846@celtics.UUCP>, roger@celtics.UUCP (Roger B.A. Klorese) writes:
> In article <4274@well.UUCP> slf@well.UUCP (Sharon Lynne Fisher) writes:
> >I like drugs, alcohol, and caffeine as much as anybody (more than some :-)), 
> >but I respect the right of somebody else to say they don't like it.
> 
> If you respect ANYTHING or ANYONE...
> 
> get the FUCK out of ALT.FLAME!
> --

Indeed, after reading Mr. R.B.A. Klorese's rather eloquent analysis
of the situation, I feel proud to be part of the Netnews Community.
Don't you?  And all I can think of to say about Sharon Lynne
Fisher, for the next few synaptic firing periods at least, is:
"Lookie here, Missy, if you feel some insatiable predilection to go
spreading your pseudo-Liberal, atavistic, sniveling, ululant
lacrimatory and general weeping and gnashing of teeth into blatant
public view throughout the world, or at least throughout the
current "alt." and "talk." distribution, then please make it
interesting.  Otherwise, GO MOAN ALONE."

By now we have pretty much deduced the fact that neither Mormons
nor Johos possess a full set of chromosomes and hence cannot be
treated with the respect which is due and proper for full-fledged
Humanoids.  Good.  However, some poor soul out there asked yours
truly to clairfy certains remarks made previously concerning a
peculiar branch off Mankind's native phylum known as EST. 

Ah, now the real fun begins.  You can fool all of the people some
of the time, you can fool some of the people all of the time, but
mention the ideas of money, organization, success and hype all in
the same sentence to some poor mental midget who happens to fall
under the general human characterization of "Yuppy" then he/she
will most likely start drooling.

A long time ago, possibly upwards of at least twenty years as the
story goes, some moral bastard of a doctor started what for all
intents and purposes can be considered a cult, called EST.  I
believe the "E" comes from his last name: Erhardt or Eckheart,
something along the lines of Hearinghard or Peckerhard or Dickhard
or Bleedheart, except that it begins with an "E" and sounds like a
Good German Name.  The other two letters have sumthin-or-uther to
do with "success" and "training" and "seminars", but definately not
"sexually transmitted" albeit rather close in some instances as
you will see.  The Great Big Idea being (for those of you who did
not live consciously through the Early Seventies when this was a
real Hip And Trendy sort of thing to do) that you take people with
reasonably high financial resources and rather disproportionally
average mental facilities, and convince them that by joining EST,
taking various training seminars and working hard with other people
just like themselves that they can become something that they
currently are not, namely bright, going-somewhere and emotionally
stable. The catcher is that to join EST, one must pay a major sum
of money up front and sign on the dotted line to pay more with no
questions asked.  Supposedly, that helps you to build courage and
hence contributes to your ultimate success.  FUNNY THING.

About five years ago, some poor retch of a loser at work was trying
to drum up recruits for EST.  He had few friends, but worked in our
project and made a continued, pitiable plea for people to "come
along to a meeting with him."  "I can't tell you what it is for,
but it will change your life," he claimed.  Sounded like a great
opportunity to bend a few minds and enjoy some profound social
recreation, so I agreed to tag along on this adventure.  A couple
nights later, he and another social misfit from work treated me to
a grandiose dinner, pumped me full of beer and then dumped yours
truly in the middle of a rather large and overtly friendly
gathering in the middle of an industrial zone business complex next 
to the San Jose Airport.  No deposit, no return.  People were
chatting, greeting each other with the typical "Peace be with you"
nonsense that social/mental misfits use in place of cocktails.

It was my lucky night since this was a big recruiting meeting for
the local EST chapter and some of the brass had come down to survey
the flock.  Before long we broke into small groups, which gave the
"sales staff" a chance to show slides and launch their pitch about
"how EST will change your life... for the better."  Much bullshit
that I won't go into, but the bottom line was "pay $500 up front,
come to our meetings, pay for additional training seminars and you
will become successful."  Then came the welcome break, a time for
Questions And Answers and free coffee, quite welcome because even
for me the bile had risen to dangerous record levels.

EST uses a novel technique, which fortunately neither the Mormons,
Moonies nor Johos have sequestered enough cerebral fortitude yet to
mimic.  During the coffee break, I noticed a definate two-on-one
pattern to the game.  Every new recruit suddenly had two devout
member escorts to play Q&A and make small talk.  Believe me, it was
more sales pitch than small talk.  However, I intercepted their
novel technique right off: the two halfbacks would try to steer
conversation into determining where the opponent goalie's interests
lie; then one of the halfbacks would excuse him/herself, find a 
fullback waiting in the hallway, whisper a few sentences and then
introduce the fullback into the two-on-one play.  And worlds of
wonder, wouldn't you know it, but the new devout member would just
coincidentally be an expert on whatever the newcomer had recently
mentioned as an interest.  FUNNY THING.

So I started fucking with their minds and inventing dire interests
in everything from para-skiing to animal gynecology.  They
intercepted the play everytime.  This kind of major bullshit
session quickly deteriorated into a stalemate, so after a while
some of the brass came over and tried to give a sales pitch with
considerable grandfatherly overtones.  Just to make conversation, I
acted pissed, rude and decidedly sociopathic to tweak the guy.  EST
quickly changed their lineup and sent me out into a quiet hallway
with a young, pretty, single, female member.  FUNNY THING. 
Suddenly the topic turned again.  She would just LOVE to have me
join.  "Pay $500 and sign the registration forms, we'll be good
friends."  Indeed, it soon became apparent how much she might love
me to join, as I noticed her thighs rubbing past my knees, past my
thighs and straight into my crotch.  Right out in the hallway.

Mind you, she wouldn't likely make the next Swimsuit Issue of of
Sports Illustrated, but she had a real Earthy, musky kind of
attraction, the kind of woman whom you would imagine initiating a
gang bang during a backpacking trip.  So I played the gambit for
almost all it was worth, at least until people started leaving the
meeting and a had a chance to put a visual stranglehold on one of
the bastards from work who had originally deposited me into this
mess.

The point is, that was five goddamn years ago, and I want to know
what these bastards are up to now.  What with AIDS, Yuppies, Vanna,
and The Cosby Kids, one would guess that EST has an even stronger
following these days.  DOES ANYBODY HAVE A CLUE ABOUT EST,
ESPECIALLY IN THE GREATER NEW YORK AREA?  Because inquiring minds
want to know.  Wash warm, tumble dry, and remember to warn children
about the risk of death through electric shock.

paco.
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bc@mit-amt.UUCP (10/28/87)

Whow. What a tirade! Been a while since someone on this net used the
word "ululant"!

I think that what EST really taught people was how to run these
pyramid schemes. So former EST disciples now pitch AmWay, run airplane
games, and sell videotape on "success" on late night TV in New Mexico.

I remember getting dumped into an Amway meeting -- an MIT Freshman,
mind you, 18 years old -- where the whole gang was on the verge of a
religious revival. First, the warmup preacher, then the "star" --
pretty low on the food chain in this case -- then the coffe and
discussion with the Red White and Blue robots. A lot of the sell was
on how much money I would make (after I got hundreds of people to
join). Too bad no cute women acolytes at this meeting. Sheesh, some
people get all the luck...................bc

savage@ut-ngp.UUCP (10/28/87)

well, speaking as One Of Those Who Took The Damned Thing [known colloquailly
as "Veterans"] I can say with impunity that they're still trying.

only now it's called the Forum, it costs $700.00, and the EST foundation has
become a Werner Erhard Adoration Society. They're like the mormons, ESThetes..
once they get your phone number they won't let up.

i'll admit that the training [you don't call it EST for the reasons you think
you  don't call it EST] actually did something for me: it made me sure that
this kind of thing will either hook you or cure you. scientology has it worse,
of course, since their leader is dead and yet keeps writing books [word has it
he died in '85 or early '86...] and had at one time publised a list of peoplr
who were "fair game", ie: shoot 'em.

now for the obvious question, "Why [apart from some inobvious mental deficiency] did you take EST?" It was paid for by someone else.

hee hee

miker@wjvax.UUCP (10/31/87)

in article <1896@homxc.UUCP>, paco@homxc.UUCP (Paco X) says:
[ ... ]

bravissimo ... bravo, bravo.

I am envious and awed.

author!author!
-- michael
-- 
====	*michael j ryan
	*{..!{hplabs,ucbvax,sun}!pyramid,..!decwrl!qubix}!wjvax!miker
	*Watkins-Johnson Co., san jose ca. : (408) 435 1400 x3079
	* above views are not necessarily those of Watkins-Johnson