kent@xanth.cs.odu.edu (Kent Paul Dolan) (04/06/88)
Cross posted to draw a crowd of people with strong opinions.
Followups already directed to talk.bizarre, Birthright Party Headquarters
Birthright Party regulars and waverers, and new readers,
Well, surprisingly to me, after all the hate and discontent expressed,
the pace of pledges actually picked up quite a bit with the
publication of the first canonical pledge list. I guess everyone likes
to see their name on the small screen! We now have 48 pledges and the
continuing waverers list. It looks like Nigel's chance for pledge #69
is arriving apace! I'll be gone for a week; enjoy the peace and quiet!
#1 From: Bruce Sutherland <brsuth@RELAY.CS.NET>
Tell you what, If you can mix supporting space exploration
with impressing the need for caffeine, you've got my support.
#2 From: <rgd059@Mipl3.JPL.Nasa.Gov> Bob Deen @ NASA-JPL Image Processing Lab
Hell, if that's your campaign platform, I'll vote for you!
#3 From: seidel@oberon.uucp (Starman) Michael Seidel
[Birthright Party Press Secretary Nominee]
OK, you got number #3! I'd rather see money being spent on
invading uninhabited (but soon to be inhabited) planets than
on invading small Caribbean islands!
#4 From: World Court Jester <hin9@sphinx.uucp>
Hey. I'll vote for you if you'll agree to put a little money
away for Neuromancer-type AI research. Get the 'face vote and
they'll make sure you win the election :-).
#5 From: <greg@mind.uucp> Greg Nowak
BTW, you got my vote, too. Sock it to `em.
#6 From: "The Pentagonal Potentate 2-6177" <COK@PSUVMA> Rob Clark
rutgers!psuvax1!psuvma.BITNET!cok <- this one works [kpd]
Might as well speed this election thing up a bit. Ahem. I,
The Pentagonal Potentate, hereby commit the Syd Barrett Cabal
of the Pan-Pontification Committee for the
Paratheo-Anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric to the election of
one Kent Paul Dolan to the office of President of the United
States.
Can't possibly be worse than the bozo who's there now.
#7 From: "The Kzinti Ambassador, M.P." <KHD@PSUVMA>
[Secretary of Peace and Emigration Nominee]
rutgers!psuvax1!psuvma.BITNET!khd <- this one works [kpd]
Subject: Vote for the Prexy.
"I, the Kzinti Ambassador, hereby pledge my vote for President
of the United States to you, Kent Paul Dolan."
Only one qualifier. Set up some kind of rider on a bill you
pass giving the net permanent anarchy. Then force it through
Congress.
#8 From: richard welty <welty@steinmetz.uucp>
[Outer Planets Latex Novelty Expediter-in-Chief Nominee]
... oh, all right ... I'll vote for you (in return for a
suitable bribe, of course -- what are you offering?)
#9 From: headroom@csd4.milw.wisc.edu (The only computer-generated user at UWM)
uwvax!uwmcsd4!headroom <- that one works [kpd]
Mark "Giving the Apathy Vote" Lippert
net.average.joe
Hey, put me down for the big #8! I could use a big #8! Then
maybe my thungh will get thawed out....
[SLOW NEWS FEED got you, Mark! kpd]
#10 From: ZEUS <nasadc!ma3751bg%ariel.unm.edu@sun.UUCP>
...!unmvax!ariel!ma3751bg <Mark Giaquinto>
We are paraniod about being confused with Mexico, so please
spell it [Albuquerque] right..
P.S. You got my vote, keep up the good work.
#11 From: sflaher@polyslo.uucp (Steve Flaherty)
Subject: Another vote
After watching the machinations of the louts currently running
on the big dollar tickets, your campaign has become more and
more appealing.
I hereby pledge the vote of one lurker. Far more vaulable
than a vote from a posting bizarrite, due to the extreme
measures required to get a lurker to actually create something
on a keyboard.
#12 From: gypsy@c3pe.UUCP
saint gypsy, live from the gypsy roach motel
BTW, my name is Meredith Tanner. okay?
and i'll vote for you, too!
i forget what you were running for...
president or something?
#13 >From: kyl@homxb.UUCP (Cindy)
Subject: Re: talk.politics.bizarre (was Re: My thungh)
OK, Kent,
I am 10.
Cindy
[SLOW NEWS FEED strikes again! kpd]
#14 >From: ccs026@deneb.ucdavis.edu (-=paul=-)
(yo kent! didja get my vote? lots of messages have been
going kabounce from here lately)
-=paul=-
#15 >From: silverio@jiff.berkeley.edu (christine silverio)
The advertising firm of Silverio, Silverio, and Silverio
(greg) wishes to announce its whole-hearted support of Kent,
the Man from Xanth, as the Bizarre Party candidate in the 1988
presidential elections.
Anything we can do, Kent, just let us know.
The preceding announcement paid for by the Xanth Man for
President Committee.
| C J Silverio | KENT FOR PRESIDENT
| ucbvax!brahms!silverio | Who cares why?
| official brahms gangster | Just vote.
#16 >From: ram@elmgate.UUCP (Randy Martens)
[NASA Director Nominee]
Well, it's time to consider the major Presidential candidates :
[...]
Kent, the man from Xanth : Promises to spend money on useful
things like deep space exploration instead of nuclear weapons
and contras. Promises to sleep a lot, and therefore not cause
trouble. hmmm.....
and the winner is .....
[ ]
KENT THE MAN FROM XANTH, FOR PRESIDENT !!
SUPPORT THE BIRTHRIGHT PARTY !!!
VOTE KENT !!!!
(yes Kent, you can count me in. *sigh*)
#17 From: thomson@cs.utah.edu (Richard A Thomson)
Subject: Vote Pledge
Count me in! I liked your first posting in sci.space a while
back about being a potential space candidate. Since then I
moved from Delaware to Utah, where I don't have access to
talk.bizarre yet :-(. Ergo me missing your campaign efforts
there. I would whole-heartedly support your election this
term. I will see what I can do to about writing letters to
local papers, etc. I will also attempt to upload your message
to local BBS's. Do you have a more elaborate description of
your policies that I could use. The one you posted to
sci.space could be a little too bizarre :-) for some people to
stomach. Perhaps something a little less sarcastic with focus
on the main issue-- space exploration and EXPLOITATION instead
of useless war-mongering.
The line about Malthus was great; keep up the good postings
and don't give up.
#18 From: S. Elizabeth Van Wyk <sally@csd4.milw.wisc.edu>
...uwvax!uwmcsd4!sally <- this one works [kpd]
Greetings!! Is your mailer still done, or after my *attempt*
at a flame are you never writing to me again?
I guess it's time to get to the heart of my letter. Can I be
of any assistance in the campaign? The more I read, the more
I'm convinced you're the only candidate worth voting for.
Hey, no hard feelings. I don't know what got into me.
The Muffin Queen
18.5# >From: svpillay@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Kanthan Pillay)
[I don't know about this one - I got back about 400 lines of
passionate pro space posting, ending with the only words
from the mailer:]
Do I really need a signature?
[Could be a pledge, more likely to be a slam about abusing
net bandwidth. We won't count it.]
#19 >From: CLT@PSUVMA.BITNET (Merlin of Chaos) (Christopher Tate)
...!rutgers!psuvax1!psuvma.BITNET!clt
I've been watching Pat Robertson do much better than he has
any right to, so I've come to the big decision.
Go for it, Kent. You have my vote.
(That's one more pledge, folks! Keep 'em coming!)
#20 From: logico!slovax!steve <Steve Cook>
kpd> I am looking for a Vice Presidential candidate. She should be
kpd> a minority person, to lend credence to this being a movement
kpd> for the good of the whole nation. Any takers?
How about any of the many net.goddesses??? Sure, buy my vote,
I can be had. If all else fails : Susan St. James.
#21 >From: mack@inco.UUCP (Dave Mack)
[A vastly stirring defense of the future of humanity]
That was beautiful, Kent, just beautiful. I'll do it, I really
will. You wouldn't have spent all the time necessary to write
that if you didn't mean it.
Vote the Birthright Party: Put a *Real* Corpse in Office in
1988. [Hmmm. kpd]
#21.5 From: lauren@cbmvax.uucp (Lauren Brown CATS)
Thanks for the kind words. You might almost have me promoting the
Birthright Party ! :-)
[Won't count this one either, but... kpd]
#22 From: f12018ak@deimos.unm.edu.unm.edu (Yngvi Diamondeye Hammerfoot)
|and may the Dwarves|<<<<<>| %Gregory J. LeVee |>>>>>|
|f12018ak@deimos.UNM.EDU|><|Vote: Kent & the Birthright Party|
[Never got a formal pledge letter, but that .siggie will do. kpd]
#23 From: bu-it.BU.EDU!bucsb!boreas%bu-cs.bu.edu@uunet.UUCP
(The Cute Cuddle Creature) -- Michael.
P.S. -- What the heck. Here's another vote for you. --M.
#24 >From: justin@inmet.UUCP -- Justin du Coeur II
Let's trade. I'll become voter #14 if you'll drop one *teeny*
tac-nuke on this Bradley place.
[talk about SLOW NEWS FEED - at least we eliminated the "what
do YOU call a soda thread. kpd]
#25 >From: lae@pedsga.UUCP
Hello, my name is Leslie Ann Ellis. I am a systems engineer
with Concurrent Computer Corp. in Tinton Falls, N. J.
Kent's empassioned bid for the presidency did not fall on deaf
ears (eyes?); I, too, believe that mankind's future lies in
the colonization of space. Questions of a "standing room
only" future aside, there is only a limited mass of the raw
materials of life on our tiny planet. [...] I would like at
this time to announce that I am available to aid Kent in his
noble cause.
#26 >From: hooker@tramp.Colorado.EDU (Bosk of Port Kar) -Devin
[Technical Consultant on Aerospace Nominee]
Subject: Another closet supporter surfaces
Kent, You've got another vote here. Let's get the fuck off
Earth - it can't support us any more. I'm an aerospace engineer -
if you need technical support look to me.
#27 >From: cs1552cy@hydra.unm.edu.unm.edu (Cipher)
[Vatican Ambassador Nominee]
All RIGHT already! Here's my vote! Take it! Please!
___
|X| Kent for Pres
---
-Chap. Oksimoron the Portable, KSC, GM, Ev., Esq., Etc.
-Josh Bell
-Robert Vilheim
#28 >From: cs2551aq@charon.unm.edu (Capt. Gym Quirk) Taki Kogoma
Now that's over, let me add my endorsement (and that of the
Imperial Secret Service) to Kent's candidacy.
BTW, anyone ever have one of those decades?
[last four in a row - is that a record? kpd]
#29 From: <jay@splut.uucp>
[FCC Chief Nominee]
If I pledge the Birthright Party, can I be appointed head of
the FCC? ...Jay
Jay Maynard {ihnp4,bellcore,killer}!tness1!splut!jay
Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.
#30 From: jkrueger@dgis.ARPA (Jonathan Krueger)
Your arguments are coherent and convincing.
#31 From: bradley!bucc2!random (Brett Neumeier)
Hereby do I pledge one (1) vote to the Birthright Party. I
want to see if there really *are* any small furry creatures on
Alpha Centauri, and getting off the planet so as to make
future survival more likely seems like a good first step.
#32 From: dieter@titan.uucp
I hate to say it, but you do sound more realistic than any
other candidate I've heard of yet. [...] I am quite willing to
vote for you.
Dieter (what this country needs is a good out-of-work actor
who STAYS that way) Muller
#33 From: Tracey A. Baker <ihnp4!mhuxu!tab>
I know you're past #18 by now, but count me as whatever number
is next (my favorites are 27, 33 and 37, so if you could
arrange one of those, it'd be nice). [Took a bit of shuffling. kpd]
#34 >From: ewilliam@garfield.UUCP (Edward Williams)
I'd also like to add my vote for Ken[t] for pres.
#34.5 From: richard@gryphon.CTS.COM (Richard Sexton)
YOU were surprised at the richard.sexton.fan.club ? Imangine
How surprised I was.
So Kent, what are these votes worth to you ?
[That needs a bit of work to turn into a pledge, I think.]
#35 From: richard@gryphon.CTS.COM (Richard Sexton)
[Official Aquaculturalist and Keeper of the Fonts Nominee]
kpd-> Well, I've handed out the chairmanship of the FCC, the bar
kpd-> position on Ganymede (or was it Ceres?), the press secretary
kpd-> job, and several other plums of about equal value. I'm still
kpd-> hoping presidential science advisor will get a pledge from
kpd-> Herbert Spencer. Do you have an interesting talent you would
kpd-> like to apply to the cause, and a job in mind where it might
kpd-> fit?
Sure. I'd like to be the official aquaculturalist and keeper of the
fonts.
[OK, _now_ that's a pledge.]
kpd-> OK, we'll make you curator of the National Aquarium (Commerce
kpd-> Building, basement floor); I'll have to look some to find out
kpd-> who keeps the fonts; perhaps the GPO?
#35.5 From: <lae@pedsga.uucp>
Subject: The Presidency
Hey, I thought you were going to save the world from itself
by running for president. What happened?
Leslie
[Was that meant to be a pledge, Leslie? kpd]
#36 From: paradis@encore.uucp (Jim Paradis)
Second, I'd like to say that I'm in full support of the
space-industrialization provisions of the Birthright Party
platform. Is that the only issue for the BP, or are there
others?
<back to slight disagreement mode>
If it weren't for your position on drug testing, I'd endorse
your candidacy 100% in a minute! Seriously. If that's a
personal preference and not a Party position, you've got my
vote!
[Answer on this one in B. P. platform due out soon. Pledge
accepted but subject to review. kpd]
#37 >From: kettyle@homxc.UUCP (Starsha)
Cheer up, I think you are a very nice person, and should be
President. So, I am going to announce my support for your
candidacy.
Vote For Kent!
Kent For President!
Support the Birthright Party!
#38 From: <Berryh@UDEL.EDU> John Berryhill net.Lectroid
You have my vote....if Red Lectroids can vote, that is.
#39 From: Wizo <konc@sphinx.uucp> T_Deacon
Secretary without Portfolio to
The Reverend with No Name @ The Lord Julius Cabal
Ah, what the hell. I must be good for at least a half-vote, being
a net.sidekick. Count me in.
#40 From: lanced@pur-ee.uucp (Daniel R Lance)
[USGS Off Planet Operations, Division Chief Nominee]
What a chance -- to get in on the ground floor of a real, intelligent
political movement. Count me in -- I want off of this planet.
#41 From: hplabs!rutgers!rochester!ritcv!ritcv:jdb9608@sun.UUCP (D)
Glad to have you back, Kent! Chalk up another vote, from me.
#42 From: rhorn@infinet.uucp (Rob Horn)
Great .sig. How about making it a bumper sticker. Then we can get
everyone to vote Birthright Party. You've got my vote.
#43 From: jra1_c47@ur-tut.uucp
Your platform was excellent. And you covered issues which are not
currently "in" as far as the press is concerned. However, this might be a
fatal flaw-- someone who covers "popular" (as defined by the press) issues
will get more support than someone who doesn't.
Doesn't matter though... *I'll* vote for you.
-- Jem
"Say it... don't laugh. Say it!"
"Pr-presi-president B-Bu- hahahahaha!"
#44 From: ucscc.UCSC.EDU!spcecdt%ucscb.UCSC.EDU@uunet.UUCP (Space Cadet)
p.s. you have my vote!!!
Hello, lift. # We're going to space if we have to walk. -Jerry Pournelle
-Marvin the PA # The meek will inherit the earth. WE will go to the stars!
John H. DuBois III # spcecdt@ucscb.ucsc.EDU ...!ucbvax!ucscc!ucscb!spcecdt
#45 From: skitchen@ATHENA.MIT.EDU Scott Kitchen
And since your shot at the presidency won't be harmed by my doing
this, you can have my vote, too. I think that makes me something
around 40 or so. Besides, I want to help Nigel make 69...
See you 'round t.b...
("Psst! Hey, boss!")
("Now, what, Guido?")
("Kent's a good man.")
("Thanks, Guido. You've got good taste.")
#46 From: douglas@reed.uucp (P Douglas Reeder)
I'm trying to organize a local chapter of the Birthright Party
(we may not get any members here at Reed).
[I guess that's enough enthusiasm to count as a pledge! kpd]
#47 From: dahutch@sequent.uucp (dahutch)
You never responded when I said you have my
vote, so here it is again. ;-)
ps: remember, you've got my vote!
#48 From: Panicked Undergrad <geswein@silver.uucp>
[Government Accounting Office, Orbital Audits Division Chief Nominee]
I find talk.biz a little boring without variety that the
Birthright Party HQ communiques fail to provide. Mind, you're not
in my kill file; I'd like the BP raised myself (remember, I'd LIKE
to go to Ganymede (although Titan may be a better bet)). [...]
--So hey, sign me up for the Birthright Party. Go forth, shake
hands, stab backs--for your good cause. Slant some GAO reports in
a sensible direction. Of course, I'll want to be the Orbital
Auditor just as soon as we move enough stuff out there to justify
it...think you can swing that?
Get everyone's BP up in '88--vote Birthright!
Steve Geswein, The Panicked Undergrad
That's all the pledges I have right now; anyone I missed, forgot to
bribe, or otherwise maligned?
These last two are just for fun, because I'm proud of them; they do
not constitute pledges. Guess I'd better not quote without asking;
pledges got fair warning. These two folks sent letters of
appreciation for my
Subject: Re: commercialism of the space program
posting, which you might have read.
From: Cathy Hooper <cathyh@iscuva.iscs.com>
From: Eugene N. Miya <eugene@pioneer.arc.nasa.gov>
So, we are up to 48 confirmed pledges and a few maybes. I know there
are supposed to be 11,000 readers out there. Let's have a little more
participation, while I go off for a week to try a chance at a real job
while we await the returns at the polls.
While I'm gone, keep working on Birthright Party Platform ideas for
me. I got inputs on 1) the question of how the nation cares for our
children, 2) an addition to my salinification of the soil position,
documenting heavy metal poisoning by improper irrigation, and 3) an
input from a Canadian reader on the subject of US foreign relations.
Thanks to all three writers; I will make (in one case, already have
made) use of your input.
Lots to do, get those local party groups going! Let talk.bizarre know
your plans, successes and failures. Spread the word to BBS and nets.
Kent, the (Birthright Party's Choice for Chief Somnambulist) man from xanth.
"The Birthright of Humankind is the Stars!"
Keep those Birthright Party presidential vote pledges coming in,
kiddies. Still looking for that big #49! Just 99,999,952 to go for a
win in '88!
"That man sleeping in the gutter? Yeah, him, that's the one. I'm
trying to get him honest work. Could you sign this petition to put
his name on the ballot for 1988? Sure, the presidency. We have a
tradition of sleeping presidents. The safest kind, if you ask me.
Wake 'em up and they invade defenseless Caribbean islands. Last time
I saw _him_ awake, he muttered something about spending _his_ invasion
budget on space exploration. Hey, come back, it's not that unlikely!
Damn, lost another one! What have people got against spending money
where there's some chance of return, anyway?"
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