weemba@garnet.berkeley.edu (Obnoxious Math Grad Student) (06/17/88)
Once upon a time, on a net far far away, everyone was happy, and newsgroups were freely spread around on topic after topic, with sites getting the ones they wanted, and readers blithely ignoring subjects that didn't interest them. Happiness reigned in Usenetopia. Accidents happened now and then, like when the poor lil' net.bunny got run over by an Obnoxious CS Grad Student racing his Trans Am down the hallways of UCLA. "Vroom, vroooooom, AARGH!, <splat>" And even then, the basic spirit of the net remained strong, as the outpouring of eulogies and grief over this minor tragedy showed. And then along came that most innocent of proposals: rec.autos.sport. The proposer, Wish Noggins, thought she was being reasonable. She suspect- ed that there was interest in the topic. She felt car racing enthusiasts would love to talk about car racing, and that all she had to do was round up the votes. And so she made a proposal, and she collected her votes. She got more than the 100 margin necessary. But the new newsgroup was not created. She asked around. It seemed there were numerous problems with this proposal. Stick Madams, self-appointed guardian of the happy and free Usenetopia, was deeply bothered. Stick, for example, had this psychic feeling that none of his downfeeds would take the newsgroup. He was waiting for Wish to verify that they would indeed accept the newsgroup. Wish then discovered that most of them said, "We do whatever Stick does. If Stick puts it in, we'll carry it. That's all." So Stick was profoundly happy that his prognostication was verified in every last detail: "I *told* you they won't take it. They won't take anything that doesn't get the official Stick seal of approval, and your group clearly has not gotten it." But Stick Madams was a generous fellow, and said he'd grant Wish her wish, and he magnaminously said he'd waive the requirement--this time around. But... But Stick was eftsoons concerned about the large numbers of motorcyclists, truck drivers, and power boaters, about whom he also had this unshakeable psychic feeling were also deeply interested in racing their vehicles. Clear- ly Stick realized that he was the only person left in Usenetopia to speak for this vast silent majority. Oh what a noble heart beats in that man's chest! So Stick explained to Wish that the name "rec.autos.sport" was just not going to do. This silent majority, by not speaking, had made it very clear to Stick that Wish had not met that number one fundamental prerequisite for all new newsgroups: they must of course satisfy everyone's potential interests all at once. But Stick Madams was a generous fellow, and said he'd grant Wish her wish, and magnaminously said he'd waive the requirement--this time around. But... But Stick also knew--he was incredibly psychic--that there was deep concern over the rec.* hierarchy. It seems there had been for two years a secret, never mentioned, nameless horror had been lurking. There had been a WHOLE set of newsgroups in the rec.* hierarchy concerned with *TRANSPORTATION*. This includes rec.bicycles, rec.railroads, rec.motorcycles, rec.boating, rec.aviation, and of course, rec.autos. These had been but inside rec.* as part of the Great Renaming, and it was just a compromise among compe- ting possibilites. After all, transportation does run into political, engineering, and social issues, yet somehow these all ended up in rec.*. And with Wish's proposal, the utter WRONGNESS of this compromise long before was suddenly revealed to Stick and many of his friends. And it was clear that the purity and sanctity of Usenetopia required, now that the horror was revealed, that the only recourse left to do was to pre- vent any further vicious abuses of the rec.* hierarchy that r.a.sport clearly was just one more example of. But Stick Madams was a generous fellow, and said he'd grant Wish her wish, and magnaminously said he'd waive this requirement--this time around. But... But here Stick had to draw the line, much though it grieved his heart. Yes, the group could exist. But for everyone's safety net-wide, this new horror had to be corraled and dealt with. He told Wish that The Only Thing To Do was to hold up Wish's newsgroup until this newly dis- covered horror was analyzed and properly dealt with. r.a.sport was on its way, as soon as the Committee On Official Taxonomy agreed what to do with all these *TRANSPORTATION* groups that had somehow snuck into the rec.* hierarchy in the days of past when people had been too busy being happy with Usenetopia to notice this serious horror. The debates were about whether the groups should be rec.vehicle.*, or misc.transp.*, or misc.workplace.transport.*, and so on and so on. It looked like this might take forever, so Wish asked for one more wish. But... But Wish Noggins had clearly lost her noggin, as she already wished for her three wishes already. What a nogginless wishmonger! Stick Madams was a generous fellow, yes, but really, there was absolutely nothing that he could do anymore. Usenetopia lived on, natch. But somehow it just wasn't the same anymore. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh, by the way, I hope you didn't find the above story about Usenetopia depressing. After all, it's just a complete fantasy. Right, FELLAS? ucbvax!garnet!weemba Matthew P Wiener/Brahms Gang/Berkeley CA 94720
jay@splut.UUCP (Jay Maynard) (06/18/88)
In article <11034@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> weemba@garnet.berkeley.edu (Obnoxious Math Grad Student) writes: [after a long, shaggy-dog, drug induced fantasy] >Usenetopia lived on, natch. But somehow it just wasn't the same anymore. >----------------------------------------------------------------------- >Oh, by the way, I hope you didn't find the above story about Usenetopia >depressing. After all, it's just a complete fantasy. Right, FELLAS? Your attempt at sarcasm/analogy failed utterly, for two simple reasons: rec.autos.sport WAS created, and, more importantly: it fit exactly in the hierarchy where it was intended. I gathered that you are complaining about the furor over comp.women from a) your loud, long, vocal, and not especially gentlemanly polemics on the issue, and b) your unnatural emphasis on the word FELLAS above. The newgroup for comp.society.women arrived here today. I still think it should be moved somewhere more appropriate, but won't rmgroup it...yet. -- Jay Maynard, EMT-P, K5ZC...>splut!< | Never ascribe to malice that which can uucp: uunet!nuchat! | adequately be explained by stupidity. hoptoad!academ!uhnix1!splut!jay +---------------------------------------- {killer,bellcore}!tness1! | Birthright Party '88: let's get spaced!
weemba@garnet.berkeley.edu (Obnoxious Math Grad Student) (06/18/88)
This sentence, like article that follows, is un-bizarre. In article <537@splut.UUCP>, jay@splut (Jay Maynard) writes: >Your attempt at sarcasm/analogy failed utterly, I don't think you understand what sarcasm *is*. > for two simple reasons: >rec.autos.sport WAS created, Exactly! WITHOUT any delay. WITHOUT any last minute rehashing of questions that had been gone over during the vote. But comp.women? Whoops. > and, more importantly: >it fit exactly in the hierarchy where it was intended. Exactly! WITHOUT any last minute concerns about now, after two years, whether "transportation" is a social or recreational issue. But comp.women? Whoops on that one again. >I gathered that you are complaining about the furor over comp.women [...] Right. Rick's last minute obstructions--based on questions that had been answered repeatedly--was unprecedented and unnecessary. The point of the sarcasm/analogy is to point out that this delay was done for *this* newsgroup. As soon as the word "women" showed up, people raised all sorts of obscure and often irrelevant objections--the kind that they would NEVER grandstand and threaten rmgroup wars over for rec.autos.sport. That is why I used r.a.s for comparison. Why was comp.women treated so completely differently? >The newgroup for comp.society.women arrived here today. I still think it >should be moved somewhere more appropriate, Like splut.i-dont-want-to-hear-them.computer.women ? Suit yourself, but remember that you are going to screw up anyone trying to post to it, since moderated newsgroups' posting is based on the group's name. Or maybe that IS why you are changing the name? > but won't rmgroup it...yet. At your site, only, I assume? "What do you mean, slow of mind?" ucbvax!garnet!weemba Matthew P Wiener/Brahms Gang/Berkeley CA 94720