kent@xanth.cs.odu.edu (Kent Paul Dolan) (06/26/88)
Right up there with The Perils of Pauline and Been Down So Long, Looks Like Up to Me for sheer self pity has to be the long running slapstick comedy serial called Kent Does USENet Mail. Sorry for the cross-posting (This thing's been rattling around the net mail so long, the original article has long expired, and I forget where it was!) and the mail barf (It's kind of like looking at a nine month old's attempts to walk; the amazement isn't at the many mail failures, but that there are any successes at all. Maybe seeing this mess will let some postmaster fix another News/mail failure. Should I start posting the email that gets through on the first try instead? It would sure cut down the volume I post on this subject.), but parts of this might be useful (then again...) to various of the cross posted groups' readers. Just in passing, uunet has been bouncing an incredible lot of mail recently; are there some connectivity problems cropping up there? Since this is cross posted (sort of reminds me of cross dressing, same implications somehow), I had to direct followups somewhere to prevent another news explosion. Sorry, your turn, comp.misc! You just won out over /dev/null, if it makes you feel any better. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | From root@uunet.UUCP Fri Jun 24 18:28:20 1988 | Received: from uunet.uucp by xanth.cs.odu.edu with UUCP/smail2.51 | (5.51/odu-gateway) id AA15236; Fri, 24 Jun 88 18:28:17 EDT | Received: by uunet.UU.NET (5.59/1.14) | id AA29585; Fri, 24 Jun 88 08:15:34 EDT | Date: Fri, 24 Jun 88 08:15:34 EDT | Message-Id: <8806241215.AA29585@uunet.UU.NET> | From: MAILER-DAEMON@uunet.UUCP | Subject: Failed Mail | To: kent@xanth.UUCP | Status: RO | | After 6 days (155 hours), your message to the following people: | | mikea (host=utoday) | | could not be delivered. | | ----- Unsent message follows ----- | Received: from xanth.UUCP by uunet.UU.NET (5.59/1.14) with UUCP | id AA24930; Fri, 17 Jun 88 19:08:42 EDT | Received: by xanth.cs.odu.edu (5.51/odu-gateway) | id AA09026; Thu, 16 Jun 88 21:58:59 EDT | Message-Id: <8806170158.AA09026@xanth.cs.odu.edu> | Date: Thu, 16 Jun 88 21:58:59 EDT | From: Kent Paul Dolan <uunet!xanth.cs.odu.edu!kent> | To: utoday!mikea | Subject: your "utoday!letter" mail drop doesn't work: bounced mail enclosed | | Mike, | | I tried to send in names, but the utoday mailer doesn't have | an account for letter, or so it claimed. This was already my | second try, since utoday isn't a registered site yet, my first | one also bounced. I've enclosed the whole header and original | email letter in case it will help your site get its mail | working the way you thought it did.. | | Kent, the man from xanth. | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | From utoday_mailer_daemon@utoday.uucp Thu Jun 16 12:29:53 1988 | | Received: from uunet.uucp by xanth.cs.odu.edu with UUCP/smail2.51 | | (5.51/odu-gateway) id AA00938; Thu, 16 Jun 88 12:29:50 EDT | | From: <utoday_mailer_daemon@utoday.uucp> | | Received: from utoday.UUCP by uunet.UU.NET (5.54/1.14) with UUCP | | id AA13926; Thu, 16 Jun 88 07:01:08 EDT | | Date: Thu, 16 Jun 88 07:01:08 EDT | | Message-Id: <8806161101.AA13926@uunet.UU.NET> | | To: kent@xanth.UUCP | | Subject: mail problem | | Status: RO | | | | Trouble sending mail at `utoday', Wed Jun 15 23:10:01 1988 | | | | ============ Transcript follows ============ | | letter | | 0 alias errors | | No local user named "letter" | | 1 delivery errors | | 1 total errors | | | | ============== Message follows ============= | | >From uunet!xanth!kent Wed Jun 15 23:10:01 1988 | | Received: from xanth.UUCP by uunet.UU.NET (5.54/1.14) with UUCP | | id AA22954; Wed, 15 Jun 88 18:17:16 EDT | | Received: by xanth.cs.odu.edu (5.51/odu-gateway) | | id AA22613; Wed, 15 Jun 88 09:27:19 EDT | | Message-Id: <8806151327.AA22613@xanth.cs.odu.edu> | | Date: Wed, 15 Jun 88 09:27:19 EDT | | From: Kent Paul Dolan <uunet!xanth.cs.odu.edu!kent> | | To: utoday!letter | | Subject: name of OSF product | | | | | | In article <11@utoday.UUCP> you write: [Reformatted on the third inclusion to make the lines fit the screen again.] | | > | | >UNIX TODAY! SPEAKS (AGAIN) | | >The Open Software Foundation is, for better or worse, now part of | | >the UNIX landscape. But in all the hoopla surrounding its birth, | | >the seven parents forgot one essential: a name. OSF will produce | | >a new operating system based on IBM's AIX, but the founders | | >forgot to tell us what they plan to call the result of their | | >efforts. | | > Fully realizing how busy the OSF is (finding a new home, | | >getting the electricity and phones hooked up, collecting menus | | >from nearby take-out restaurants), we, as the new kids on the | | >block, have decided to give the Foundation a helping hand. | | > But since we're having our own problems getting settled (new, | | >nightmarish telephones that ring for no reason; offices that | | >evoke one editor's memories of his time in solitary confinement; | | >and you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find good Chinese | | >food in Manhasset), we could use some help. Send us your | | >suggestions. (...uunet!utoday!letter) We'll select the best and | | >print them in our first issue. Time is running out. Do it | | >today. | | > Send pizza. | | | | | | Aw, come on, that one is so easy it has to be a set up! | | | | They're building this turkey from an IBM base, right? | | | | It's _gotta_ be called BLUENIX. | | | | (I also tried spelling that BLEUNIX, for you rancid cheese lovers; | | take your pick. Maybe it will make up for the pizza I forgot to | | enclose. Funding problem.) | | | | Kent, the (sarcasm (the one redeeming habit of the human race) | | loving) man from xanth. | | | | BIG BLUENIX? | | | | BIG BLUE NIX? Yeah, that's the ticket! | | | | Go, GNU! | | | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ And if anybody makes a connection with the old (Analog, I think) science fiction story featuring an insurance policy called Blue Driver, the similarity is deliberate, and every nasty implication you can think up, I probably anticipated. Heh, heh! Kent, the man (with a mean streak that runs clear through) from xanth.