cam@swbatl.UUCP (5415) (01/20/90)
In article <1340@amethyst.math.arizona.edu> xibo@mts.rpi.edu (Xibo) writes: >grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (A Gremlin From The Kremlin) writes: >>In article <9AM}J+@rpi.edu> kibo@pawl.rpi.edu (James 'Kibo' Parry) writes: >>and writes and writes and writes and WRITES and just won't shut up! ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ Rants. Not gut-level, red-faced, swept-away-in-passioned-oration ranting, mind you, but a subltle sort of rant nonetheless. Kinda like Sternodox on 'lludes sitting at a NeXT machine, or Robt. Anton Wilson talking in his sleep whilst dreaming about a new multi-level sales scam. >I HEAR you. I hear you saying you don't like Kibo. [...] In a way, I perceive the Xibo pure essence of anti-Kibo is more than just an antithesis. Yacatisma flux sundered the original *ibo into two distinct hemispheres, forever condemning them to nattering pee-shy pseudo-antagonism. They occupy this plane forever; yea, unto the end of this era and beyond! >>You alone are bad enough, but then we get xibo who follows-up every goddamn >>article simply to contradict you. Heloise's Hint #13013: to avoid a nasty duality inversion, keep mirrors away from workstation operators. NUXI! KibobiX! Do I win the prize? >>"You're not allowed." <-----correct choice Sure y'are! Least until July 5, 1998 when Earth becomes nothing more than a trashed-out Stuckey's in space. *I* will be on the pleasure saucers, some sex goddess workin' my joystick to pilot our little aluminum love nest to the 15th dimension, while Kibo, Xibo, and Weemba continue their tired diatribe, barely aware that something has changed and they no longer need flashlights in the dark. And where will *YOU* be? >But what do we call it? >alt.kibology? >alt.xibology? >alt.ibos? alt.shish-kibob C'mon, RANT! RANT LIKE YOUR VERY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, AS IT MAY VERY WELL! FREE-WHEELIN', SQUIRTIN' 'N OOZIN' GUT BLOWOUT!!!!! PUT SOME HIGH-OCTANE SUPER-LITERACY INTO THAT WIMP-DICK LITTLE WORKSTATION OF YOURS AND GET DOWN TO IT!!!! YOU THINK THIS IS SOME KINDA SUNDAY SCHOOL SING-ALONG? YOU WANNA BE A TOO-EARLY POTTY-TRAINED FASTIDIOUS WANNABE-BOBBIE-B'ZARRO? OF FUCKING COURSE NOT! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! MY LEGS ARE ON FIRE! HOLD ON TO ME, I'M LEVITATING! I SET OFF FOURTEEN-HOUR ORGASMS IN OVER TWELVE HUNDRED SPECIES IN A THIRTY KILOMETER RADIUS WHEN I OPEN A CAN OF TUNA! MY LEFT BRAIN IS PLUGGED INTO THE INTERNET; MY RIGHT-BRAIN IS A GODZILLION GIGABYTE OPTICAL ARCHIVE OF EVERY CARTOON EVER PRODUCED AND YET TO BE IN THE FUTURE! I SURVIVE ON A DIET OF DIOXIN AND COCOA-PUFFS, AND WASH IT DOWN WITH CLOROX 'N TEQUILA! I LIKE MY WOMEN TWELVE AT A TIME, AND WHEN I GET THRU THEY GET BACK IN LINE! RATTLESNAKES SEE ME COMIN', THEY SHED THEIR SKINS, LUBRICATE 'EM, AND ROLL 'EM UP - AND LEAVE THE RATTLES FOR EXTRA STIMULATION! I TOOK THE MAIL-ORDER KIBOLOGY PACKAGE KIBO *DIDN'T* SEND ME, EXTRAPOLATED THE GOOD PARTS INTO A SCIENCE, AND USED THE TECHNOLOGY TO BLOW THE PUBLIC ACCESS WORKSTATION LAB OFF THE FACE OF NORTH AMERIKA! HELL, I GOT WOMEN FLOCKING IN DROVES FROM NEW YORK/BOSTON/BERKELEY WEARIN' LSD-SOAKED EDIBLE PANTIES 'N BEARING GIFTS OF SUPERCOMPUTERS AND DIRTY PAMPHLETS! THE MUTANT HORDES I SIRE FROM THESE TECHNO SHE-BITCHES ARE HOLED UP IN THE VALLEY OF LIGHT IN NORTHWESTERN ARKANSAS, WAITIN' FOR JUDGEMENT DAY OR A GOOD $1 CIGAR! I DRIVE A STEAMROLLER TO WORK; I FUEL MY ELEVATOR WITH HYDRAZINE AND LOX! MY DESK IS A FOURTH DIMENSIONAL TIME-SPACE CONTINUUM EXTENDING TO THE END OF THE UNIVERSE, AND I STILL DON'T PUNCH A TIME CLOCK! YUPPIE NEW-AGE FANATICS FROM THE YEAR 2475 ARE CHANNELLING *ME* FOR ADVICE IN LOVE, SALES, AND GOOD SEX! WHEN I FART IN THE WINTER, SKATERS FALL THRU THE FLASH-MELTED ICE! DON'T BELIEVE ME; MY WORDS ARE ALL LIES, AND ARE THE BASIS FOR ALL KNOWN MYTHOLOGIES AND PORNOGRAPHY VIGNETTES! I EAT RAZOR BLADES FOR DESSERT, AND SHIT TITANIUM RIBBONS FOR THIRD-WORLD SPACE PROJECTS! CLIVE BARKER AND STEVEN KING BROKE DOWN AN' STARTED CRYIN' AND SINGIN' NURSERY RHYMES WHEN THEY GOT A LOAD OF MY EEG'S! I STARCH MY UNDERWEAR WITH SUPERGLUE AND GROUND GLASS PARTICLES! I TWIDDLE MY TOES IN MOLTEN MAGMA AND WIGGLE MY EARS IN THE VAN ALLEN BELT! I BEAT THE HYDRA IN A STARING MATCH AND USED HER HAIR FOR FISH BAIT! I CAUGHT GODZILLA IN ONE CAST, AND THREW HIM BACK TO GO GET HIS BIG BROTHER! ...whew....
andrew@dtg.nsc.com (Lord Snooty @ The Giant Poisoned Electric Head ) (01/20/90)
In article <1123@swbatl.UUCP>, cam@swbatl.UUCP (5415) writes:
[oodles of major-league ranting of the highest quality deleted]
yea; once you get a handle on that egocentricity problem, you'll be
in good shape.
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Andrew Palfreyman andrew@dtg.nsc.com Albania before April!