alang@masscomp.UUCP (Alan Groupe) (09/15/86)
My what a small world! I remember Brother Jed on the U of Ill. campus about 10 years ago. At that time, he was travelling with Brother Max Lynch, a math professor from IU who had "discovered that math was wrong and G-D was right." The best line I remember from Jed was that Jesus would return to earth riding a white horse, and that he [Jed] would be right behind him. Think about what the guy following the horse does for a living. I had some fun with Jed one day that you might want to try. I stuck my fingers in several random places in my calculus text (like he has in his bible) and when he quieted down, I jumped up before Max could take over and started to read from the text. After the applause died down, someone else got up and started reciting the Jabberwocky. Jed and Max left. Alan Groupe
dave@uwvax.UUCP (09/15/86)
What? You mean Brother Jed and family have left Madison? Damn!
Oops, sorry, I mean darn!
It must have gotten too cold and conservative here for them. Well,
after our long, cold winter, I'm sure Madison will need Brother Jed
and Sister Cindy again in spring. It's *amazing* what people to do
keep warm :-)
And he'll miss our Holloween Party! Talk about drunkenness and
perversion!
--
Dave Cohrs
(608) 262-1204
..!{harvard,ihnp4,seismo,topaz}!uwvax!dave
dave@rsch.wisc.edublm@cxsea.UUCP (Brian Matthews) (09/16/86)
In article <600@ukecc.UUCP> wes@ukecc.UUCP (Wes Morgan) writes: |<Eat flaming death, you Satanic line-eater> | |Well, the prophecy has finally come to pass. BROTHER JED SMOCK has returned |to the University of Kentucky, carrying his message of hellfire and damnation. |Of course, Sister Cindy, the "disco queen" turned evangelist wife, and Chastity, |their 4-year-old disciple/child, were in tow. ... |Hmmmmmm.......anyway, he's *really* good humor. "Jed" and his entourage visited the University of Washington in Seattle fairly regularly when I was going there ('80-'84). They always managed to come on bright sunny days, and were fine entertainment in between classes. Ask Sister Cindy to describe how she turned from a "heathen Disco Queen" to a disciple of Brother Jed's in the parking lot of the Crystal Hamburger Palace. Lot's of "you'll burn in Hellllll Fi-errrrrr", with appropriate hand waving and audience participation. Good clean fun. -- Brian L. Matthews Computer X Inc. - a division of Motorola New Enterprises ..{utcsri!utzoo!mnetor, uw-beaver!ssc-vax}!cxsea!blm +1 206 251 6811
barth@tellab5.UUCP (Barth Richards) (09/16/86)
In article <600@ukecc.UUCP> wes@ukecc.UUCP (Wes Morgan) writes: >Well, the prophecy has finally come to pass. BROTHER JED SMOCK has returned >to the University of Kentucky, carrying his message of hellfire and damnation. >Of course, Sister Cindy, the "disco queen" turned evangelist wife, and >Chastity, their 4-year-old disciple/child, were in tow. ... >Having been warned, we shall now describe today's "discussion" with Brother >Jed. > > > Our group arrived late, having just completed a class. Brother Jed was in >fine form, launching into his analysis of our sex lives. Typical passages of >his lecture were as follows: [many lines of humorous but none-the-less probably true quotations from BJ] >In the past, Jed has issued the following: > > "Hey! You in the red sweater! How many men have you slept with this week?" > > "You, sir, are a pervert!" > > "Anyone dressing like this woman (indicate girl) is obviously looking for > FORNICATION!" (hand motion, audience participation) > > > > Needless to say, Jed has become an institution at many college campuses. >He expresses preference for UKentucky and UFlorida. Obviously, then, we are >the hotbeds of drug abuse, FORNICATION, ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC, and general sin. >(Gee, and it only costs $660 per semester! They sure didn't mention *that* in >the catalogue!) > > Watch for Brother Jed Smock at *your* university. For a good laugh and >a good way to kill a few hours, he can't be beaten. This all sounds strangely familiar. In Wisconsin, there is a woman who goes by the name "Sister Pat." She tours the Wisconsin college circuit, and for the two years that I was at Lawrence University (Appleton), would hit our campus in mid-late May. Among her pronouncements: - She is perfect. - She has conversations with god. (TWO-WAY, as in "Hi, how's it going, big guy?" "Oh, all right. What's shaking with you?") - Any woman with short hair is a lesbian. (Man's hair style.) - Any woman wearing pants is a lesbian. (Man's clothes.) - Any woman wearing shorts (and remember, this is in late May) is a whore. (Engaging in public nudity.) - Any man wearing a t-shirt is an idol worshipper. (This one's really good. According to SP, if you are wearing a t-shirt, you are OBVIOUSLY a body-builder, and body-builders are into self-worship.) - Any man with long hair is gay. (Woman's hair style.) This one has a great story attatched to it. When she informed her audience of this fact, someone spoke up and said, "Excuse me, Christ had long hair." To which she replied, "NO! That's a lie! Some FRUIT painted his picture that way and the rest is history! He did have a beard, that's true, but he kept it NEATLY TRIMMED. Why he looked a lot like THAT YOUNG MAN OVER THERE." (pointing at yours truely) To which I responded. "I'll be changing water into wine and signing autographs after the show." ;-) If you go to college in Wisconsin, I definitely recommend her act! It is not to be missed. Barth Richards Tellabs, Inc. Lisle, IL
woods@hao.UUCP (Greg Woods) (09/16/86)
Brother Jed loves to come to the University of Colorado, too. He's been coming to Boulder (a hotbed of lust and heathen sinners :-) since *I* was in college (my God, was that *really* 10 years ago?), so he's been around a *long* time. I'm surprised someone hasn't bumped him off by now. :-) I agree, he's highly amusing as long as no one in the crowd actually takes him seriously. --Greg
henry@mit-trillian.MIT.EDU (Henry Mensch) (09/22/86)
In article <600@ukecc.UUCP> wes@ukecc.UUCP (Wes Morgan) writes: >(Jed was a Delta Upsilon.) His fraternity house had a "darkroom" in >the basement, but "No film ever saw THAT room!". . . . Too bad ... perhaps we'd have the *real* scoop on Jed. Suzy Sorority (or perhaps even Fraternity Fred!) turned him down on an unsavory offer, and he's been exacting his revenge ever since ... -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Henry Mensch | Technical Writer | MIT/Project Athena henry@athena.mit.edu ..!mit-eddie!mit-athena!henry