gary@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Gary Buchholz) (09/27/86)
Mike Royko, columnist for the Chicago Tribune, conjures Slats Grobnik
to speak....
"Have you looked at a hospital bill lately? An asprin costs $2.
Every time the intern says good morning, its another C-note. But this
Robertson is one of those faith healers. He can pat you on the head
and get rid of your migraines; give you a pat on the rump and the old
hemorrhoids are gone; tweak your nose and you drop your crutches and
start dancing the poka. You can't get cheaper than that We wouldn't
need Medicare."
Royko: "That would be of considerable appeal. What if you are asked
about such issues as the massive defense spending ?"
Slats:
"A snap, I tell them: 'Don't worry, with Pat in the White House,
we'll be stronger without spending any money. Remember, all Pat has to
do is ask You Know Who, and He'll send those Rooskies some pestilence
and locusts and given 'em sores. Remember what He did with the Red
Sea? Next time, it might be the whole Baltic Sea flooding their
basements."
Royko: "I can see the possibilities. But what if Robertson should
speak in tongues?"
Slats:
"Oh you mean that religious stuff, where he opens his mouth and all
kinds of strange words come out, and nobody is sure whats he's talking
about?"
Exactly.
"Fine. Let him talk that way. It didn't hurt Reagan, did it?"
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Do Christians really want this guy Robertson in the White House ???
Gary