hofmann@NRL-CSS.ARPA (Jim Hofmann) (11/07/86)
Subject: Smash the Sputnik, Part II
(being more dangerous musings from the terminal of the net.brat... dis here
is a foolowup on my statement ("opinion") on my self-professed "elitism"
not to mention genius...)
Yeah, so what the fuck IS wrong with being "elitist" at least in your
musical tastes ... I mean who the fuck made up this commie-"populist"
crapola anyway? I mean, every friggin' media "critic", it seems has to
justify an artist's worth by comparing him with what it (the critic)
thinks the "masses" would kiss butt for. I mean, who the fuck ARE
these people ANYWAY and where did they get their cocaine? If I
have to be an "elitist" to escape these insufferable a-holes, then so
be it. Keep the scenes small... shit, man, the best shows I been to
have been maybe 20-30 people - all of them digging the music and all
of them involved in some degree with making the whole thing happen. Fuck
everyone else and their shitty tastes. Fuck them to the MAX. I've had enough
of these fuckers coming in and screwing up one musical scene after another
because some gumsmacking critic barfed out some drug-ridden hack-job in
their local mainstream media. One thing these masses bring with them
to a music scene that just fucking rakes my scrotum, is this fucking god
like worship and total uncritical attitude they reserve for the stars
that have been picked and groomed for them by the media hacks. Witness
my pal, Dave Juitt, and his unquestioning fucking worship of some over-rated
space zombie who was too "elitist" to even give his paying crowd the time of
day. Sure, Hitckok is okay, but man, these college-radio types and
and the "hip" avant of the mainstream eat anything he does like it was platinum
horse manure. One of the best rock groups I've ever heard, a Japanese band
called "The Stalin", BROKE up because they were getting too popular. Man, I'd
kill for a total "elitist" attitude like that (and ANY of their records) but
invariably (?) I have to put up with human wavo-crud at shows, bugging me for
"spare change" or " a light" or "didn't that opening band suck, maaan." And then
of course, there's the maggots who stand above it all and "merchandize" the shit
out of the crumbsuckers. I mean, I snicker as much as the next guy when some
shitty group like the Banshees or Bongoes are releasing 12" remixes and 13
dollar T's but when it's a good group that is doing it because some piece of
walking slime has rights to their songs, I just wanna tear all the pubic hair
out of the scum that suck up to this "merchandizing" and support (assuming of
course, they didn't shave all their pubic hair OFF in some attempt to keep up
with a fashion trend). My partner-in-disgust-and-elitism, Charley, has coined
a new term to describe the labels and agents - "spendies" (derivative of
EXspensive, and to be columnized and compared with "indie" - add that to yr own
limited vocab, Davo Wavo). Speaking of which, I hear Cosloy of Homestead quit
his job in disgust after Columbia finally called in their cards and exerted some
control over Dutch East. Figures... if it's true - hats off to him, if not, he
can shit on a brick with the rest of the wavos.
Like I said, I've seen too many good things go asunder because a-holes
came in with their media-shaped attitudes and total unwillingness to
support well-intentioned people because (typical excuses): "it's hard
to find their records" or "I'd just as soon buy it through a distributor
than deal with the band directly, who cares if they don't make as much
money that way and if the distributor rips them off and never pays them,
it's not my problem" or "but that's a horrible section of town to see
a band in, let's go out to Maxweeeelllllsss or the Spiiiiit, maaaan" or
"Ooh, what's this? No record cover?" or "oooh, that zine is a xerox, it
must suck, I won't even look at it". Quit your fucking whining when the
groups you support go to pot because you LET THEM take these easy way
out. Get off your ass and DO something. I mean, Earle is a King Weenie
but you gotta admire him for helping out with starting a club, I mean, FUCK,
you asswipes probably try and figure some lame way to get on guests lists
or transfer stamps before you'd even think about actually HELPING out the
people that NEED your help.
But just think about it - I'd say that just about everyone of you is "elitist"
at LEAST musically, in some way, shape or form. Was anyone at that anti-Crack
concert where the primarily white audience showed what slime-sucking dicks
they are by attempting to boo Run-D.M.C. off the stage but allowing that
doddering, foolish, brainless Crapsky, Steeals, and Gnash to perform without
STONING them? Or how many of you wouldn't be caught DEAD listening to
heavy metal or Madonna or or or... face it, you're HYPOCRITES if you think
I'm the only "elitist" one here.
Another acquaintance of mine refuses to buy a turn-table (he can afford
since he works at DEC) because he says that by buying tapes exclusively
he can support independent bands while still being able to get stuff
from the bigger bands (I hear he truly digs "Lone Justice"). Now what the hell,
I bet you think THAT's "elitist", too. But then would any of you lame
fucks give up your CD player now that you've been trained to crawl up
in front of it and hit the bong every night? I doubt it. Yet, I see
the concept of CD's "elitist"; you ever figure how much it takes to
master one of those suckers? I'd rather hear a good band out of a
5" speaker than listen to the crap that pervades the majority of the
CD market, anyday.
But shit, man, if I'm "elitist" then like I say, so fucking be it, just keep
your "populist" assholes out of my sight range or I'll just have to cut you
all a new one.
Feelin' Groovy,
Jimmy Hofboyy...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
P.S. The Latest NMDS supplement is out and it's way cooler than Dave's
record collection. It comes with a free copy of Ear, another elitist art
music rag featureing an interview with John Zorn...Get it and wallow in your
"elitism"... Sorry, don't have the address or phone number but I'm sure
if you called info in New York and asked for New Music Distribution Service,
you might get through - or ask me and I'll dig it up at home.jordan@UCBARPA.BERKELEY.EDU (Jordan Hayes) (11/07/86)
Jim Hofboyy / Thursday Night / love-hounds mailing list ... near MIT In his followup performance tonight, Slim Jim rocks the house (party people HO!) wid the might on da mike. His rock is hard, his rock is real .... rocking all night say how the fuck he FEEL. I was working on this cool filter/recognizer last night, and here's the output of the following UNIX command: % wsplit < jim.mail | unpunc | cool | sort | uniq -c 1 acquaintance 1 agents 1 anti-crack 1 artist's 1 ass 1 assholes 1 asswipes 1 banshees 1 barfed 1 cocaine 1 commie-populist 1 crap 1 crapola 1 crapsky 1 crumbsuckers 1 davo 1 dicks 1 fuckers 1 fucks 1 madonna 1 max 1 populist 1 run-dmc 1 scrotum 1 slime 1 slime-sucking 1 spendies 1 trend 1 wavo 1 wavo-crud 1 wavos 1 weenie 1 zine 2 a-holes 2 maaaan 2 pubic 2 shitty 3 critic 3 suck 4 shit 5 fucking 6 fuck 6 like 9 elitist % cool -p < jim.mail The coolness factor of this piece is 58%, +/- 3.21 % logout Hmmm. Joe Bob sez, Check it out! /jordan