IED0DXM@UCLAMVS.BITNET (11/13/86)
Raffles and Giro having nodded themselves dizzy, they determined to confront their mistress with the evidence of her undignified display before the entire American people. (Well, you can't expect giraffes -- let alone British giraffes -- to understand the principles of American cable television and the true implications of the term "USA Network".) Giro spoke first, and crossly, or as crossly as was feasible while simultaneously chewing choice herbage from the high branches of East Wickham Wood. "Kate, you ought really to be ashamed of yourself,munch, munch, really you ought." As, however, Kate demonstrated not the least degree of shame in her unprintable rejoinder, Giro lapsed into a pouty binge of feeding. Next came Raffles's opportunity to make the woman see reason. "Pigtails! And you might also be made aware that your silly impression of Tracey Ullman doing Margaret Thatcher, while mildly diverting, failed entirely to win you any new fans in the States, of that you may be certain. I think -- Giro, leave something up there for shade, or we'll soon be left with no ivy to go under at all -- I think you had best send them a formal apology, and post haste. You can send it on straight away and have done with it. And while you're at it --- " At that moment an ear-splitting, terrifying scream put a premature end to Raffles's peroration, and sent the trio fleeing to the cellar, where they joined Noah and the rest of the animals in the SBS (Sonic Bomb Shelter). What will happen to Kate and her friendly menagerie in the next exciting episode of "Plugging Ears Against the Painful Cries of Mothers, or 'Cor! Wot a bleedin' big baby! Unh!"?