Love-Hounds-request@EDDIE.MIT.EDU.UUCP (02/21/87)
Really-From: hofmann@nrl-css.arpa (Jim Hofmann) Being the final installment in a glorious three part series. Thanks to Wicinski for uploading it from a Mac. Enjoy... --- SS: So why do they call you Tina? B: My lover calls me Tina - but I hate gays J: Don't look at me - I ain't his husband. B: I beat him up all the time. Anytime he tries to fuck me, I beat him up. He's a fattie. J: Anyhow [burp], I guess we got free reign. I hate fucking queers. You know what? B: The homosexual is the scourge of this nation. J: That's right. B: - turns all the biker bars into fag bars and I can't get any men cuz they're all fags. J: I've seen it. B: - want some men and I can't get men cuz they're all fags. J: And I can't get no women cuz all these bare-faced, pussy-assed boys come on with their daddy's money and take 'em away from the only real men left on earth - Big Bubba! B: - and Big Christina! J: The only real men on this earth. B: And this nation! J: Right on, bro! [ lots of bragging and racial slurs are edited out] J: That's righteous as hell but we're in this man's house and I noticed you got Anacin 3 in front of you so we won't harass you anymore. We'll interview you now: Sir, we heard that Flipper were assholes. What did Flipper do that's worse from what we're doing right now? SS: They just wouldn't talk to me cuz I didn't have any drugs. J: Well, we're not assholes, see - and everyone out there - we ain't assholes, we're real talkative. Real nice guys. Flipper sucks anyway - hasn't had a good idea in six years. What do you wanna say about the Chef, Tina? B: It's gay. J: It ain't gay! That's the only bar on the East Coast 'sides the Boothill that ain't gay. B: I saw a nigger in there. J: I saw a nigger in there, too. The nigger had to go in there to sell "soup" to the bikers. B: One nigger makes a bar gay. J: I wouldn't give Flipper any "peasoup". I think ZZ Top's lots better than Flipper. SS: What about Sonic Youth? J: [bllllt] They're better than Flipper - least they got a wimmen in the band even though she ain't got no tits. ... She gets mad at us when we told her to grow tits. B: She chopped off her tits to get boys. SS: I got a picture of her somewheres (from Yet Another Fanzine). J: I'm gonna have to shit, man. Another thing we don't say is dude. We don't ever use that fucking word - dude. B: I stabbed a guy who said 'dude'. J: Anyone who uses the word lowers his IQ level down to that of a nigger. So listen up, you pussy-whipped faggots; we're so much better than you. I have to pee. [ looks at picture of Kim Sonic Youth] Look at that titless Tessie. What the hell is that - that ain't Velda! B: It's not Dolly. She ain't got no headlights! J: ... she doesn't even have an amusement park in Tennesee named after her. What good is she? All she soes is pluck a fucking bass she bought down at the 5 and dime and thinks she's big. You're a junkie-ass, god-damn shriveled up bitch and your faggot ass husband ain't much better. B: And you're Jewish! A titless Jew Nigger Lover. You'll never have my 9 inch dick. J: Speaking of Jew sluts, I wanna bite your big fat ass, Barbera Rice. You got a big old butt. I've been after your ass since '81 before I even turned 20, baby. I'll show you a real good time - B: I tried to grab your ass but you were reading a book during a concert. J: We tried to grab her butt and she ran to her Kike husband in a fit. B: She tries to tell us her husband ain't Jewish. We know he's a Kike. J: If you're listening, Barb, come over anytime and we'll apologize. B: Then we'll pass you around like a whiskey bottle. J: At least there's one person round here who will inter- view us, Barbera. And he's big righteous and has a beard! We don't all have to look like Mark E. Smith, Barbera. [ guess I'm off Truly Needy's mailing list now for sure ] J: We're just kidding. We like niggers, really. We like 'em so much we'll risk AIDS to fuck one of them. SS: Did you guys go to Forsyth County? [ site of recent anti-racist and anti-anti-racist demonstrations in Georgia] B: Yeah. J: We threw the mud. B: That was real fun. We went down there and then come up to Raleigh the next day. And went into a march there. So, we made it a big Aryan weekend. We can't play so - J: We gotta do something - can't sit around and be idle. We'd be niggers. Can't sit 'round a corner kicking dirt. SS: So the first phase of PSYCODRAMA was over in 81? B: Somewheres round there. SS: And you actually had instruments at that time? B: Yeah, and I still use the music from back then on tapes - though I sometimes speed it up or change it arund. I steal from South Bronx, too. Um, then around '81 people started dropping out. And we got drunker. J: And more 'Peasoupy'- B: When we used instruments, I'd go out and put bottles up my ass. J: So he'd do all the bad stuff - B: And then, I decided who needs them? I can do all this stuff with all the instruments on tape. And sing on top of the tape and so they left. On to do nothing. One person who was really into it is in Baltimore going to the Maryland Institute of Art. SS: David Byrne's old school? B: Yeah - that says it all. SS: You gonna be on Mykel Board's new Hunger compilation? B: Yep, we sent him one called, "Go Starve in Africa, Niggers" which is my latest song. I used South Bronx niggers and this Baptist Choir I recorded down in South Carolina. I mixed then in, straight, on top of the South Bronx niggers doing rap with their beat. SS: You didn't manipulate it? B: Nah. I'm getting away from that. SS: You go to a four-track? B: (snorts): I have these two five dollar tape decks and Jim's tape deck. SS: What does Jim do? B: He preaches. He has a sermon and then I have a chord organ which gives it all a tonal sound. SS: Will you ever do a record by yourself? B: Never. Ever in our whole lives. J: We tried to do a record once. And the guy said the stuff was "unacceptable." B: Any time anyone wants to do a record or they wanna press it, we get the same excuse when the receive the final product. J: He didn't like the sleeve art or the material. B: I know. There have been several people that wanted to put out a PSYCODRAMA record. Then we send them the stuff and we put a picture of a nigger being crucified by bikers or something. J: And they say it's unacceptable. Like my 2nd grade teacher or like my parents. B: So we say, Fuck off. It will always be tapes. I trade massively by mail. I get all the addresses in Sound Choice and Unsound. I mass-produce our music and send it off. I get incredible music that way and that's all that matters. SS: I only get these little punk rockers sending me tapes and asking for a free add B: We never get any punk! J: No punk comes in. We get stuff from Europe, Japan - SS: Those Japs are fucking crazy. B: I know. J: The best stuff is all coming from the Orient. SS: Even their hardcore doesn't suck - B: Shit, even their new wave is good. J: We got on one compilation over there - "Desperately Seeking Suicide" B: I'd rather get on compilations (than put out record). There's a hundred people all around the world doing compilations all the time. [ start asking them about the Sonic Youth/Complex incident again] B: The reason we yelled at Sonic Youth 'bout that girl not having any tits cuz of a nigger. Cuz Gordon Organ, fag shit face - J: - was too much of a pussy to get us in the show. B: Too much of a pussy to do anything with us. He had a nigger at the Complex. J: Big nigger! B: and we brought a bottle of whiskey into the Complex. J: Little bottle. itty-bitty bottle. B: And I was in the courtyard drinking that bottle of whiskey. J: And all these other niggers were smoking Loveboat- B: And not giving any to us cuz we looked like ZZ. And I was drinking a bottle of whiskey J: PERfectly legal. B: And this smelly, big nigger comes up and says- J: [lapses in patois] "Youse gonna haveta dump out that whiskey or youse is gonna haveta go cuz we cain't have it flyin' round here at de Complex". B: So I dumped out the whiskey just to stay there and yell about Sonic Youth's tits. J: "Oh an by de way. De nights befo' we had j'st cleaned up de whole god-damn place (complex) wid sum nigguh from H.R's band and one of de Pussy Galore boys and one of dem Peach of Immortality people who I don'ts know and we went dere dat night and cleaned up de whole place -" B: In order to get a ticket to Sonic Youth. J: "- in orders to gets a ticket fo' nothing and den we went in dere." SS: I thought Sonic Youth put you on their guest list. J: "No suh, we cleaned up de place like nigguhs... we had to gets de mops to clean de flo' and when we's done cleanin' de flo', we hads to picks up de pieces of paper de punk rockers laid down and we hads to tear down dem stoopid Goverment Issue John Stab faggot flyers...and when we done cleaned up de place de Massa' Organ gone up an' pat us on de head and say, "You boys is wisin' up. Maybe dere's some hope for you yet" and we said dats good and de Organ say, "you finally gettin' in society" - just like Abe'ham Lincoln, dat Organ is. And den two weeks latuh we ain't in dere but 15 minutes and some big nigguh comes up to us and sex, "maaaan, you gotta pour dat out." And I say, well heh blod, dere be modderfuckin' nigguhs smokin' loveboat and sniffin' cocaine... and dey go crazy and run dere cars into de fence. And dem skinhead boys be fightin' over dere's religous beliefs - all de baldies 'gainst de other baldies beating up each others and still de mang'ment of de club put all de agreesion on dese rednecks sittin' round drinkin' whiskey an' readin' de racing form. They's too pussified to fuck with de nigguhs and de skinheads" B: That's why we don't go to stupid clubs anymore. J:"Dat's why we don't go to yo' damn heavy metal conce'ts, Organ, cuz if I wannts to see de heavy metal, I justs goes to de K-mart and gets me a Judas Priest reccid. And get it done by peoples what's no howze to do it and take it to my 13 year old niece and play it on her little stereo and maybe's if we's lucky she puts out for us.".. Anyway, Organ and Jared, you a BIG PUSSY. SS: Jared? B: He's a faggot. J: "He's dat guy wit a hairdo wig on who tink dat he real bad cuz he sits down at de do' on E street on won't let bearded people into de shows." SS: Okay well, um, what our your influences? J: Goddamn, Ozark Mountain Daredevils, Catfish Hodge Band, Little Feat, The Roadducks, Genuine Virginia Band. We don't like that SPK... that dang ol' Genisis P. Orridge is a fag with a ponytail (later they told me about when they went to see PSYCHIC TV and Danceteria wouldn't let them in cuz they had no dates. This apparently started the thing against Danceteria). B: I likes Alphaville, A-Ha. Genesis P. Orridge is a faggot. J: We don't like punk rock. We don't like industrial. We like Hank and ZZ and Dolly cuz you don't see no niggers playing in their bands. (points at poster) We like Poison Idea cuz of (Tom) Pig. If they ever come to town, we're gonna steal Pig. B: Hey, if there's anything going on Baltimore, let us know. SS: The Mentors - J: Yeah, I feel me and Il Duce are soul-mates. We wanna talk to them anyway cuz there was this lady from Screw magazine that came down and took pictures for some article we were gonna be in with the Mentors. We never saw the article and we wanted to ask them if we ever got in. SS: Well, he'd be the person to ask. SS: You gonna go see Hank and Ian doing poetry? B: Ask us another question. J: Henry always impressed me as someone who was like a bull being led around by the ring on his nose. I saw him over at Yesterday And Today and he was a geek. SS: He's real self-concious about his weight. Call him fat and you'll ruin his day. B: So he's a Spa-Lady, huh? SS: I guess so. Wanna head on down to the block and see some titty? B: Fuck yeah. J: Titty bars! That's what we came down here for.