[net.sf-lovers] Pseudo-review of Red Sonja movie; some slight spoilage

JAFFE@RUTGERS.ARPA (07/08/85)

From: Steven J. Zeve <ZEVE@RUTGERS.ARPA>

Micro Review: When oh when are we going to be able to get Dino de
Laurentis' foot off of the neck of SF and fantasy moviemaking?

Mini Review: If you liked the Conan movies, you will probably like
this one.  If you didn't like the Conan movies, you might like this
anyway.  I can't tell if my mind is slipping or if de Laurentis is
slipping and some quality slid through his concept-to-dreck conversion
mechanism; the acting and plot seemed a little better than usual for
his films.  Although I have some quibbles with the movie due to
knowing something about the characters and the "historical ages"
involved, I think this is passable quality thud and bloonder once
you've set your expectations down to the level of the Conan movies.

Review: In general the movie flows along nicely; the plot advances
smoothly, and there isn't TOO much bad dialogue.  There is plenty of
that fancy sword whirling that we came to know and love in the Conan
movies; I would love to know where the Hyperborian people get there
wrist bones from, they must be made of titanium steel alloy to whip
xxxthose swords around like that all the time.  There is some really nice
looking scenery (no, no, not the warrior maidens or Red Sonja, I mean
the hillsides, mountains, woods, and such like, that everyone gets to
ride around in).  The villains are acceptably villianous, the
hero(in)es quite heroic in skill and attitude.  The magic isn't
overdone (although I can't take the wizard with 3 inch fingernails
seriously at all, it always looks like he is about to stab himself in
the hand), and the swordplay is nicely choreographed (but I still
wonder about the wrists).
   In going to see the film, I had adjusted my expectation level down
to where de Laurentis films seem to fall, so bad dialogue, slighty
silly plot, mediocre acting, and terrible direction didn't bother me
the way they did for the first Conan movie.  Nevertheless, I have a
few complaints about details of the movie.  As in the first Conan
movie, they have tampered with the "origin" of the character without
sufficient justification, fortunately it is much less tampering than
in the Conan movie; the tampering seems to have been done just to
provide Sonja with a reason to hate the villainess, which isn't really
necessary.  The movie also suffers from a failure to tell you things
soon enough; an example is Sonja's vow, an integral part of her
character, which gets dropped on you in mid-movie.  A comic relief
group has been added, totally unnecessarily (one of them reminds me
greatlyof Sancho Panza); they get used later and need plenty of
rescuing along the way, or least one of them does, but their comic
relief function generally detracts from the film along the way.
   One problem that irked me throughout the film is that the
characters incessantly called on God when swearing, instead of their
own particular god or goddess, and it is pretty clear that not one of
these people believes in God.  I didn't hear one call to Crom or even
Mitra in the whole movie!
   One last quibble: although Robert E. Howard, who originally created
the character, has been credited, I failed to see any credit for
Marvel Comics which actually developed the version of the character
that the movie is based on.
   This can be a fun movie if you don't mind the fact that it suffers
from Dino de Laurentis syndrome (where scriptwriters and directors
don't have a good feel for the genre or the characters they are
working with).  So turn your expectation level down and find a theatre
that is showing Red Sonja for $2and watch for your own pet peeves
while you viewthis movie (like I did).  (If you want a GOOD movie, you
should just go see Cocoon instead and skip anything that de Laurentis
touched.)

Oh, yes, the sexist review (for anyone still reading): Brigitte
Neilsen (sp?) who plays Sonja is a superb piece of flesh and the
various warrior maidens in the battle scene aren't bad either.  I
suspect that they will get a lot of repeat male viewers who like
drooling over Sonja, especially for the opening scenes.  I suspect
that I can wait for the movie to make it to cable, however, before I
view it again.
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