shallit@gargoyle.UChicago.UUCP (Jeff Shallit) (09/27/84)
This morning on WXRT (Chicago) I heard about a contest for songs with the worst lyrics ever. The winner was "I am the Walrus" by the Beatles. You could argue about that, but the runner-up award was well-deserved: "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. [I always thought the "cute/moot" rhyme in "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield ruined an otherwise decent song...] Any nominations for songs with bad lyrics? I'd especially like to see songs with lyrics so bad (or pretentious) that they make you squirm just to hear them (for example, terribly contrived rhymes). E. g.: "Till the stars fall from the sky For you and I". /Jeff Shallit
tucson@ihuxj.UUCP (B. A. Salzmann) (09/28/84)
>Any nominations for songs with bad lyrics?
Well, if you mean obscene-type lyrics, then:
"Andrew's Blues" and "Schoolboy Blues" by the Stones,
"Bodies" by the Sex Pistols,
"F.U.C. Her" by Ron Wood
aren't exactly songs I'd play for my mother.
--
Muddy footprints in the bedroom, who's been sleeping here?
B A Salzmann ihnp4!ihuxj!tucsonken@ihuxq.UUCP (ken perlow) (09/28/84)
-- >> Any nominations for songs with bad lyrics? I'd especially like to see >> songs with lyrics so bad (or pretentious) that they make you squirm just >> to hear them (for example, terribly contrived rhymes). E. g.: >> "Till the stars fall from the sky >> For you and I". >> /Jeff Shallit The clear winner--and it actually was a winner of such a contest I read somewhere--is that late 60's classic: "Honey". Let me see if I can remember a line (they're all gruesome): She wrecked the car and I got mad but what the heck, I guess you'd say she saw through me and hugged my neck. Or something like that. The runner-up in this same contest was the equally forgetable "Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree". -- *** *** JE MAINTIENDRAI ***** ***** ****** ****** 27 Sep 84 [6 Vendemiaire An CXCIII] ken perlow ***** ***** (312)979-7188 ** ** ** ** ..ihnp4!ihuxq!ken *** ***
dvw@hopd3.UUCP (D. V. Wilkerson) (09/28/84)
For starters, anything by the Village People, "Lucille" by Kenny Rogers, and the infamous Silver Convention's "Fly Robin Fly": "Fly robin fly, Up, up to the sky." (end of lyric) Diane Wilkerson ..!hopd3!dvw P. S.: And then there was A Taste of Honey's "Boogie Oogie Oogie". Perceptive stuff in the Disco era...
mike@smu.UUCP (10/01/84)
<> What was that song by Styx with the line "Ageless and timeless as Dorian Gray" That was annoying. Mike McNally ...convex!smu!mike
rossen@uiucdcs.UUCP (10/01/84)
Re: Awful Lyrics One of Neil Diamond's songs (to save my reputation I should say I have no idea what it's called) is something straight out of William Safire's (he of "On Language" in the NYT) nightmares: "Songs you sang to me, songs you brang to me..." ---- Ken Rossen ...![pur-ee ihnp4 convex]!uiucdcs!rossen
kaufman@uiucdcs.UUCP (10/01/84)
"Hot Blooded" by Foreigner - it's amazing what they'll do just to get a rhyme! Ken Kaufman (uiucdcs!kaufman)
adler@aecom.UUCP (Elliott Adler) (10/01/84)
> > >Any nominations for songs with bad lyrics? > > Well, if you mean obscene-type lyrics, then: > "Andrew's Blues" and "Schoolboy Blues" by the Stones, > "Bodies" by the Sex Pistols, > "F.U.C. Her" by Ron Wood > aren't exactly songs I'd play for my mother. > If you want to get into songs you wouldn't play for mom... how about the secong song, on the first side of the HAIR sound track. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! That has got to be one of THE MOST OBSCENE songs I have ever heard! Elliott Adler
rlr@pyuxn.UUCP (Rich Rosen) (10/01/84)
> This morning on WXRT (Chicago) I heard about a contest for songs with the > worst lyrics ever. > The winner was "I am the Walrus" by the Beatles. You could argue about that, OK... I would have thought that "I'm Honestly Endlessly All Out of Love for My Lady, Baby" by Dianiva Newton-Rogers and all the songs of that ilk (the ones that sell based on who sang them rather than the quality of the song and that have subliminal messages telling you to buy refrigerators hidden in the mix) would win hands down. Frankly, the insane surreal imagery of Lennon's, umm, chemically assisted lyric writing period (which includes such gems as "Happiness is a Warm Gun"---a soap impression of his wife which he ate and donated to the National Trust) is much more fascinating than the saccharine whinings of so-called adult so-called contemporary so-called music. Of which the runner-up (Having My Baby) is a prime example. "Elementary penguin singing hare krishna, man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe" Next thing you know they'll be making fun of the lyrics to Close to the Edge: "A seasoned witch can call you from the depths of your disgrace and rearrange your liver to a solid mental place... I get up, I get down" (Look, you *said* I could argue about it. We're talking about my favorite Beatles song here!!! Actually, Close to the Edge ranks as one of my top five all time albums, so there...) On a more serious note (?), is Billy Ego's "Dancin with Myself" relevant to the other topic at hand in this newsgroup nowadays, i.e., songs about masturbation? -- "Come with me now to that secret place where the eyes of man have never set foot." Rich Rosen pyuxn!rlr
ron@brl-tgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) (10/02/84)
My contribution is Frank Weber's "As the Time Flies". ... There's a ring around your finger. There's a ring around the moon. You've got big dark rings round both your eyes, and the telephone is ringing. -Ron
dvw@hopd3.UUCP (D. V. Wilkerson) (10/02/84)
Oh, and let's add that current pop-chart favorite (?) Wham!'s "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" (has to be the title of the year), and the wonderful line: "You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day" Lovely. These guys weren't that bad before. See what happens when you sell your soul for a top-10 record? Diane Wilkerson ..!hopd3!dvw
carey@yale.ARPA (Orchid) (10/02/84)
This morning on WXRT (Chicago) I heard about a contest for songs with the worst lyrics ever. The winner was "I am the Walrus" by the Beatles. You could argue about that, but the runner-up award was well-deserved: "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. Does anyone remember "You can never go home anymore" by, I think, the Shangri-Las? Those lyrics were about as bad as any I can think of. =Bob the blob
ribl@hou4b.UUCP (R Blechman) (10/02/84)
[:> <:] I think perhaps some of the worst lyrics can be found in some songs out of the disco phase in music. Perhaps some of you remember a song whose chorus went ''Push, Push, In the Bush"? (Sorry, I don't know who it was by) R. Blechman
lutton@inmet.UUCP (10/03/84)
#R:gargoyle:0:inmet:6600205:000:708
inmet!lutton Oct 1 12:24:00 1984
<>
My nomination is for a song where mediocre lyrics are made worse by
absolutely terrible text setting:
"This Guy's in Love with You" by Bacharach and David.
guy's
You say this guy, this
with you,
love
in
The high points of the melody accentuate the wrong words.
Handel was a pretty crummy text setter (Examples: "All we like
sheep" and "FORE!! unto us a child is born" from Messiah, and
"SAVE THE CRICKET!!!" from Il Penseroso) but his excuse was
he didn't know English very well. There's no excuse for
the way Bacharach set "if not I'll just, die-ie-ie" at the
end of "TGILWY".msw@browngr.UUCP (Mark Wachsler) (10/03/84)
[bug chow] >Any nominations for songs with bad lyrics? I'd especially like to see >songs with lyrics so bad (or pretentious) that they make you squirm just >to hear them (for example, terribly contrived rhymes). E. g.: > >"Till the stars fall from the sky > For you and I". This reminds me of one of my pet peeves about song lyrics, which I will now have to throw out to all you netters. I don't mind substandard English in songs (e.g. "I can't get no Satisfaction", etc.), but using "I" as the object of a preposition is really sick. People who do that (I would assume) think they're speaking standard English, but they're really massacring the language. One example that really bothers me is in Yes's "Changes": "One difference between you and I." Some other particularly grody lyrics are: "Baby, I'm a-want you" (Bread) "You never done me like that" (Captain and Tenille) Oh, well. That's enough for now. ----------------- I was alone, I took a ride, Mark Wachsler I did not know what I would find there. browngr!msw
sherouse@unc.UUCP (George W. Sherouse) (10/03/84)
Let us not forget those immortal words of Pete Sinfield, captured for posterity on one of the first King Crimson albums under the (song) title "I Talk to the Wind": I've been (pronounced bean) here and I've been there and I've been inbetween Line breaks indicate delivery. Awesome. Good tunes to you, George W. Sherouse <decvax!mcnc!unc!sherouse> P.S. A sample good lyric: According to these memories I'm just mad about you I'm just mad about you Our jerky versions of the dream Made it all seem so true Made it all seem so true
strock@fortune.UUCP (Gregory Strockbine) (10/03/84)
> > > > >Any nominations for songs with bad lyrics? > > > > Well, if you mean obscene-type lyrics, then: > > "Andrew's Blues" and "Schoolboy Blues" by the Stones, > > "Bodies" by the Sex Pistols, > > "F.U.C. Her" by Ron Wood > > aren't exactly songs I'd play for my mother. > > > > If you want to get into songs you wouldn't play for mom... > how about the secong song, on the first side of the HAIR sound track. > IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! That has got to be one of THE MOST OBSCENE > songs I have ever heard! There is a song called, I think, "The Woods" by the Birthday Party which has to be one of the spookiest and sick songs I've heard, like something from an Official Detective magazine. They've taken Throbbing Gristle's "Perversion" at least one step further.
clark@sdcsla.UUCP (Clark Quinn) (10/03/84)
(...)
Touching on both songs you wouldn't play for your mother AND
bad lyrics, how about Rod Stewart's "Tonight's the Night",
with the classic verse
Spread your wings and let me come inside
Talk about crass!
-- Clarkberry@zinfandel.UUCP (10/04/84)
Then there's always "Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads. Fish Heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!" -- Berry Kercheval Zehntel Inc. (ihnp4!zehntel!zinfandel!berry) (415)932-6900
michaelf@ism780.UUCP (10/04/84)
#R:gargoyle:0:ism780:20500023:000:208 ism780!michaelf Oct 2 15:20:00 1984 I view "Bodies" by the Sex Pistols as an anti-abortion song. Any other opinions? I think I've deciphered what Rotten was wailing and it struck me, quite frankly, I didn't think they cared...
dvw@hopd3.UUCP (D. V. Wilkerson) (10/04/84)
Oh, I almost forgot that legendary song about cannabalism, "Timothy" (I've forgotten the group). "Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go? Timothy, Timothy, God, why don't I know?" Brutal. Diane Wilkerson ..!hopd3!dvw
giw@browngr.UUCP (Jerry Weil) (10/04/84)
No question about it, 'My Pal Foot Foot' by the Shaggs.
gregbo@houxm.UUCP (Greg Skinner) (10/04/84)
The lyrics to this song were pretty bad, but I liked the song nevertheless,
'cause it was funny.
"Disco Duck" by Rick Dees and his Cast of Idiots (lyrics available by net mail
request)
... disco, disco duck, try your luck, don't be a cluck ...
--
Hug me till you drug me, honey!
Greg Skinner (gregbo)
{allegra,cbosgd,harvard,ihnp4}!houxm!gregbodlb@stc70.UUCP (David Black) (10/04/84)
This might be in a slightly different category (since it seems that it was written to be bad), but Bonnie Raitt used to sing a song that started out something like: "Your bright and shiny eyes are like the stars above Laredo, Like meat and potatoes to me..." Sort of gets you, doesn't it?
ron@brl-tgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) (10/04/84)
The second song on the first side of the hair album is "Donna" which is relatively sedate considering other songs on the album. -Ron
guy@rlgvax.UUCP (Guy Harris) (10/05/84)
> > > > >Any nominations for songs with bad lyrics? > > > > Well, if you mean obscene-type lyrics, then: > > "Andrew's Blues" and "Schoolboy Blues" by the Stones, > > "Bodies" by the Sex Pistols, > > "F.U.C. Her" by Ron Wood > > aren't exactly songs I'd play for my mother. > > If you want to get into songs you wouldn't play for mom... > how about the secong song, on the first side of the HAIR sound track. > IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! That has got to be one of THE MOST OBSCENE > songs I have ever heard! > Elliott Adler Well, "bad" didn't mean "obscene", it meant "bad", as in "dumb", "hackneyed", etc.. However, if the song you're referring to is the one called (if I remember correctly; I don't have a "Hair" soundtrack handy) "Sodomy", there are *lots* more obscene (in the sense of having "naughty" words) songs around. Try "Too Drunk to ****" by the Dead Kennedys, for one. Guy Harris {seismo,ihnp4,allegra}!rlgvax!guy
strock@fortune.UUCP (Gregory Strockbine) (10/05/84)
In article <205@zinfandel.UUCP> berry@zinfandel.UUCP (Berry Kercheval) writes: >Then there's always > "Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads. > Fish Heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!" > > > I've heard this song before, who does it?
lo@harvard.ARPA (Bert Lo) (10/05/84)
> Oh, and let's add that current pop-chart favorite (?) Wham!'s "Wake Me Up > Before You Go Go" (has to be the title of the year), and the wonderful line: > "You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day" > Lovely. These guys weren't that bad before. See what happens when you sell > your soul for a top-10 record? > > Diane Wilkerson > ..!hopd3!dvw I hate to tell you this but Wham! never had a soul to sell. Listen to their first songs. Youngs Guns (Go For It!) "Tell that jerk to take a hike There's something about that boy I don't like Well sugar, he don't mean the things he said Just get him out of my way 'cause I'm seein' red" Wham Rap (Enjoy What You Do) "Give a Wham Give a Bam But don't give a damn" "If you're a pub man Or a club man Or a jet black guy With a hip hi fi" Bad Boys "We can't help but worry You're in such a hurry Mixing with the wrong boys Playing with the wrong toys Easy girls and late nights Cigarettes and love bites Why do you have to be so cruel You're such a fool" Now, it's not that I don't like these guys (because I do) but they never had any ambition but to be fun and rich anyway, so how could they have sold their souls ? By the way, why are we attacking lyrics only ? Why not production of songs also ? For example, what about that retarded "sexy" intro to "Swept Away" by Diana Ross where she tries to seduce the listener by doing her imitation of an asthmatic ? Or the ridiculous way Tina Turner barks "Better Be Good To Me" like someone stripped her of her vocal cords ? Also, how come no one posts any reviews of recent product like they do on net.movies ?
msw@browngr.UUCP (Mark Wachsler) (10/05/84)
[the lunch line] >>>Any nominations for songs with bad lyrics? >> Well, if you mean obscene-type lyrics, then: >> "Andrew's Blues" and "Schoolboy Blues" by the Stones, >> "Bodies" by the Sex Pistols, >> "F.U.C. Her" by Ron Wood >> aren't exactly songs I'd play for my mother. > If you want to get into songs you wouldn't play for mom... >how about the secong song, on the first side of the HAIR sound track. >IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! That has got to be one of THE MOST OBSCENE >songs I have ever heard! Ah, but the contest was for songs with bad lyrics, not obscene lyrics. There's a difference between songs which want to make you wretch because of the tackiness, stupidity, or mushiness of their lyrics, and those which just sound like Penthouse would be embarrassed to publish their lyrics. Personally, I think "Sodomy" (and I'd assume that's the song you're talking about, although I didn't look at the album, so I could be wrong) as an amusing and not altogether worthless song. Their are other great songs in that category, like Queen's beautiful love song :-) "Get Down, Make Love." Sure, the lyrics are sick, but I wouldn't call them bad or stupid. At least they break the mushy monotony of most boring popular songs. ---------------- Join the holy orgy, Mark Wachsler Come and join us, everyone! browngr!msw
msw@browngr.UUCP (Mark Wachsler) (10/05/84)
[munch gobble chew] Another incredibly stupid line is from "The Warrior": "Your eyes touch me physically" Make me boot! (a.k.a. Gag me with a spoon) ------------ I am the Warrior, Mark Wachsler Bang! Bang! browngr!msw
ron@brl-tgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) (10/06/84)
Yeah, the great thing about Fish Heads is that the video is equally good. -Ron
lo@harvard.ARPA (Bert Lo) (10/06/84)
> In article <205@zinfandel.UUCP> berry@zinfandel.UUCP (Berry Kercheval) writes: > >Then there's always > > "Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads. > > Fish Heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!" > > > > > > > > I've heard this song before, who does it? I think it's Barnes & Barnes. They used to play this (the video) on SNL.
did@ucla-cs.UUCP (10/07/84)
>Then there's always > "Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads. > Fish Heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!" Let us not forget "Dead puppies, dead puppies, ... aren't much fun" which used to be on the Dr. Demento top 10 a while back along with "Fish heads". Dave Arpa: did@UCLA-LOCUS.ARPA Uucp: {ucbvax || ihnp4 || randvax || sdcrdcf || trwspp || ism780} !ucla-cs!did
marno@ihuxm.UUCP (Marilyn Ashley) (10/09/84)
For all us old fogies out there - do you remember some of the
oldie moldies such as:
Undercover angel, midnight fantasy
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me...
Sounded like the guy was going through puberty. How about:
Abra Abracadabra
I wanna reach out and grab ya'
Boy that's deep. Then there's:
Someone's knockin' at the door
Someone's ringin' the bell
Do me a favor, open the door
and let 'em in...
A comment to WXRT listeners in Chicago - "I am the Walrus" was
written as a snide practical joke to the Beatle fans at that
time who were trying to interpret eveything that the Beatles
wrote as some kind of message.
The all time best worst lyrics were written by the Rutles.
The song was called "Cheese and Onions". Best spoof ever done.
Anybody remember it?gregbo@houxm.UUCP (Greg Skinner) (10/09/84)
> From: marno@ihuxm.UUCP (Marilyn Ashley) > For all us old fogies out there - do you remember some of the > oldie moldies such as: > Undercover angel, midnight fantasy > I never had a dream that made sweet love to me... "Undercover Angel" by Alan O'Day. He wrote "Angie Baby" by Helen Reddy. ('Nuff said about bad lyrics, I guess.) I liked the song, tho'. > Sounded like the guy was going through puberty. How about: > Abra Abracadabra > I wanna reach out and grab ya' "Abracadabra" by the Steve Miller Band. Probably his most popular (note: not his best) song. > Boy that's deep. Then there's: > Someone's knockin' at the door > Someone's ringin' the bell > Do me a favor, open the door > and let 'em in... "Let 'em In" by Wings. Honestly, I don't think McCartney meant us to take the words seriously. As I recall, "Silly Love Songs" also appeared on this album (Wings at the Speed of Sound), and the lyrics to that were pretty silly (How can I tell you about my loved one ...) but I don't believe (and I think I heard it on an interview somewhere) that McCartney intended for those to be 'fun' songs. Goodness, Marilyn, you're making me feel old! Those songs are not that old!
rlr@pyuxn.UUCP (Rich Rosen) (10/09/84)
> A comment to WXRT listeners in Chicago - "I am the Walrus" was > written as a snide practical joke to the Beatle fans at that > time who were trying to interpret eveything that the Beatles > wrote as some kind of message. Not true. "Walrus" was written as an outgrowth of multiple acid trips by a certain Mr. J. Winston Ono Lennon. The chorus is based on the Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland) poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter". Only later in life did Lennon realize that the poem was a Marxist (?) sociological parable, with the walrus representing the greedy capitalist and the carpenter representing the working man (or something like that). Lennon realized he had chosen to be ("I am the ...") wrong thing, but he also realized that the song might not have been as good if he had called it "I am the Carpenter"... (Goo goo ga joob) The song you may be thinking of (a snide practical joke to Beatles fans) was "Glass Onion" (one of my OTHER favorite Beatle cuts), in which he chides "But here's another clue for you all, the walrus was Paul". During the course of the "Paul is dead" craze (which professed that Sgt. Pepper's cover was Paul's funeral, complete with car crash and flowers and topiary bass guitar), someone decided that the walrus was a eskimo symbol of death (??), and John then retorted that it was HE who wore the walrus suit. Until "Glass Onion"... > The all time best worst lyrics were written by the Rutles. > The song was called "Cheese and Onions". Best spoof ever done. > Anybody remember it? I remember when Neil Innes sang it on Saturday Night Live in John Lennon getup (as Ron Nasty of the Rutles, prior to the film "All You Need is Cash" but after Eric Idle's first appearance on SNL showcasing his Rutles film "I Must Be in Love" from his Rutland Weekend TV show), complete with white piano. The song was meant to parody John Lennon's first solo album replete with unaccompanied piano and slapback echo voice. For some reason it was included on the Rutles album as a sort of parody of A Day in the Life (complete with buildup orchestral ending, except that instead of ending in a mammoth sustained piano chord, it ends with a single staccato G in the bass register). I could talk for weeks about the Rutles. But if you want REALLY tasteless parody of John Lennon's early solo period, try "Magical Misery Tour" from National Lampoon's Radio Dinner album (a classic). "Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, piggy in the middle, do a pooh pooh" And, speaking of John Lennon's Dodgsonesque word play... -- "Come with me now to that secret place where the eyes of man have never set foot." Rich Rosen pyuxn!rlr
colonel@gloria.UUCP (George Sicherman) (10/09/84)
["Poppa get the hammer, there's a fly on Baby's head." --Baby's Head Polka] P.S. If you want something more modern and accessible, I'll nominate any song by Anne Murray. Songs by Paul Simon from the last five years are OK, too. -- Col. G. L. Sicherman ...seismo!rochester!rocksanne!rocksvax!sunybcs!gloria!colonel
marno@ihuxm.UUCP (Marilyn Ashley) (10/10/84)
In reply to Greg Skinner's remark that "Let 'Em In" by Wings
was probably not meant to be taken seriously; I have to say
that he is probably right. In the case of "Abracadabra" I
agree that it is not his best work. Why is it that an artist's
most popular work is rarely his best?
I didn't mean to make you feel old. I agree that the songs
I mentioned are not that aged. How's this for an oldie moldie:
She wore an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini
That she wore for the first time today...
So in the water she decided to stay
I think that definitely beats out "I am the Walrus" for the
title of the World's Worst Lyrics.
I would like to introduce a new category: "The Wildest Lyrics
You've Ever Heard". My first nomination would be
"The Eleventh Earl of Mar" by Genesis. Anybody know it?
Sorry I came off so sarcastic, Greg, it's just that I've
been feeling my age ever since this last summer.
Even though I finished college only four years ago, the
students I've met this year looked at me like I was a
martian when I told them I attended the Chicago Beatlefest
this summer. For a moment I thought I had made a mistake and
told them I had attended a Lawrence Welk concert. I felt
like I had committed the ultimate faux pas, admitting that
I had done something that uncouth. That must have been the
way I reacted to my sister (12 years older than I) when she
told me some years ago that she wanted to see Elvis Presley
in Las Vegas. What a weird feeling! Is 25 really the age
one turns into an old fogie or did I just have a bad encounter?
Yours in oldness,
Marilyn Ashleyfolta@yale.ARPA (Stephen Folta) (10/10/84)
Well, I don't know if these are the worst, but I think some of the lyrics on the Police's Synchronicity album are pretty bad. Example: Mephistopheles is not your name I know what you're up to just the same A good example of just how far some people will go in forcing a rhyme just to show off how well-read they are. At least he avoided trying to rhyme something with "Mephistopheles". (Did I spell that right?) Stephen Folta decvax!yale!folta
figmo@tymix.UUCP (Lynn Gold) (10/11/84)
MY nominee for the worst lyrics is Sheena Easton's "Morning Train."
The first time Don Imus (NYC's #1 DJ) played this song, after hearing
it, he remarked "The song that started the great 1980s payola scandal..."
--Lynn Gold {...hplabs!oliveb!tymix!figmo}
P.S.--Nominee for worst new artist and album of 1984: Cyndi Lauper
for "She's SOOOOOOO Obnoxious!"markv@dartvax.UUCP (Mark Vita) (10/11/84)
<..>
Well, if we're still nominating songs with the worst (read "most stupid")
lyrics, I nominate:
ANYTHING BY DURAN DURAN
My favorite is their latest "hit"--"The Reflex". You know, the one
that contains such profundities as:
"Why don't you choose it
Try not to bruise it
Buy time don't lose it..."
The lyrics to most of their other tunes ("Hungry Like The Wolf",
"Rio", "Is There Something I Should Know?") are equally bad. I don't
think I've ever seen a group whose lyrics are so consistently
moronic. It's almost as if they pick words at random out of the
dictionary and group them loosely into partial English sentences.
--
Mark Vita
Dartmouth College
USENET: {decvax,cornell,linus,astrovax}!dartvax!markv
ARPA: markv%dartmouth@csnet-relay
CSNET: markv@dartmouthgmf@uvacs.UUCP (10/12/84)
[thistles] >> For all us old fogies out there... > Goodness, Marilyn, you're making me feel old! You don't know old. I remember when Three little fitties in an itty bitty poo ... came out. Does anyone else out there? Gordon Fisher
sofo@ihuxm.UUCP (Terry Bermes) (10/12/84)
How about "Love Comes In Spurts" by Richard Hell and the Voidoids?
Love comes in spurts,
Oh no, it hurts!
Love comes in spurts....
Terry Bermesgtaylor@lasspvax.UUCP (10/12/84)
In article <> folta@yale.ARPA (Stephen Folta) writes: > Mephistopheles is not your name > I know what you're up to just the same > >A good example of just how far some people will go in forcing a rhyme >just to show off how well-read they are. At least he avoided trying >to rhyme something with "Mephistopheles". (Did I spell that right?) > Yeah, Steve, but at least they're *trying* to write about something besides bodily function. There's a type of poem whose sole purpose is to use a multisyllabic word for a line, like Sesquipedalian or something. Now that's what we *really* need.....
omh@brunix.UUCP (Owen M. Hartnett) (10/13/84)
My candidate for worst lyrics is a song with the lyrics/title of "Get the Funk out of my Face" Whenever I heard it, I could picture a couple curled in front of the fireplace 20 years in the future, when this song is played on an "oldies" show. The w woman turns to the man and says "listen, Dear, they're playing OUR song."
wfi@unc.UUCP (William F. Ingogly) (10/13/84)
You bet I remember "Three little fitties;" however, I was five or
six at the time, so I can't remember the name of the song. I do
recall part of the chorus:
"...and they fam, and they fam, all over the dam.
Boop, boop, diddle-daddle, waddum, Choo!
Boop, boop, diddle-daddle, waddum, Choo!..."
I may not have gotten the boops and waddums right, but you get the
general idea. I think this song came out sometime between 1950 and
1952. Another oldie but baddie from the same time period goes
something like this:
"Marzie doats and doazie doats
And liddle lambzie divey;
A kid'll eadivey too, would'n choo?..."gmf@uvacs.UUCP (10/14/84)
[Bugs eat this and bugs eat that; boom bum biddle duddum bat] > You bet I remember "Three little fitties;" however, I was five or > six at the time, so I can't remember the name of the song..... > ..... I think this song came out sometime between 1950 and 1952. > Another oldie but baddie from the same time period [was Mairzie > Doats]..... > ...unc!wfi! I would have guessed sometime in the 1940's, but memory is treacherous. I think it was just called "Three Little Fishes". And then there was Hutsut rawlson on the rillerah And a brawla brawla sooitt... This is a phonetically-based rendition. I don't know how the inspired lyricist spelled it originally. But it was very popular for a period during (I think) the 40's. On a different note (!), I recall the classic "Pistol-Packin' Mama" which I think was based on two chords and seemingingly endless repetitions of the chorus Lay that pistol down, babe, Lay that pistol down, Pistol-packin' mama, Lay that pistol down. I recall sometime during WW2 an Army Captain feeding nickels into a juke-box, playing Pistol-Packin' Mama over and over with malice aforethought, until somebody walked over and pulled the plug out. The Captain put up a big show of wanting to hear the music he paid for, and the plug-puller stomped out of the bar in a dudgeon. At which the Captain (who was a surgeon, actually) had completed his objective -- psychological demoralization. Ah, the good old days..... Gordon Fisher
msw@browngr.UUCP (Mark Wachsler) (10/15/84)
[eat them up, yum] >>Then there's always >> "Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads. >> Fish Heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!" > >Let us not forget > > "Dead puppies, dead puppies, ... aren't much fun" > >which used to be on the Dr. Demento top 10 a while back along with >"Fish heads". What do you mean `bad lyrics'? `My puppy died late last fall, He's still rotting in the hall.' is poetry, nothing less! :-) ---------------- Mom says puppy's days are through; Mark Wachsler She's going to throw him in the stew! browngr!msw
wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin ) (10/16/84)
> "This Guy's in Love with You" by Bacharach and David. > > guy's > > You say this guy, this > with you, > love > in > > The high points of the melody accentuate the wrong words. One interesting thing about this song: when I first heard it, I thought the words were "You see the sky, the sky's in love with you..." which really makes sense, after a fashion. The person being sung to is so desirable that all of nature worships her, or something like that. (I think I've read some 17th century poetry that essentially says the same thing.) Anyway, I still like my version better, so there! Will Martin
wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin ) (10/16/84)
I guess none of you young whippersnappers ever heard of The Fugs, eh?
Talk about "obscene lyrics"! Such classics as "River of Shit" and
"Dirty Old Man" come to mind (get back down there! back! back!)...
("Monsters from the id", indeed!)john@mddc.UUCP (John Pletikapich) (10/16/84)
< The stupidest lyrics of all time are from the recently popular song "You make me lose my self-control". There's a line that goes: "in the day nothing matters; it's just the nighttime that matters" I tried listening very carefully to make sure that she wasn't singing "matters" twice, but it sounds like it to me and it's annoying as anything.
gregbo@houxm.UUCP (Greg Skinner) (10/16/84)
I think it goes:
"Boop boop diddum daddum waddum, choo!"
but I never heard the original. I heard Elizabeth Walton singing it on "The
Waltons" one day, and some guy who wanted to take Terry out on a date on
"Three's Company".
--
Hug me till you drug me, honey!
Greg Skinner (gregbo)
{allegra,cbosgd,ihnp4}!houxm!gregborlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) (10/16/84)
> In article <> folta@yale.ARPA (Stephen Folta) writes: > > Mephistopheles is not your name > > I know what you're up to just the same > > > >A good example of just how far some people will go in forcing a rhyme > >just to show off how well-read they are. At least he avoided trying > >to rhyme something with "Mephistopheles". (Did I spell that right?) > > Yeah, Steve, but at least they're *trying* to write about something > besides bodily function. There's a type of poem whose sole purpose > is to use a multisyllabic word for a line, like > > Sesquipedalian > > or something. Now that's what we *really* need..... "You're so pusillanimous, oh yeah, Nature's calling an' I must go there..." ---"Another Day" from The Rutles (a sendup of "Martha My Dear") -- AT THE TONE PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NET ADDRESS. THANK YOU. Rich Rosen pyuxn!rlr
sjf@foxvax1.UUCP (S.J. Foley ) (10/17/84)
You forgot "Slum Goddess", "Coca - Cola Douche", or " Saran Wrap " from their "Golden Filth" album. The lyrics in these "golden" classics are rather puerile, disgusting and quite entertaining. We cant forget these immortal lyrics from you know who. "Give me the Enchilada with the pickle sauce, shoved up an down between the donkey's ........." -sf-
dak@ihuxn.UUCP (Dave Krunnfusz) (10/18/84)
<> How about Donna Summers' first big one, "love to love you baby". Boring 8-)!
beck@eosp1.UUCP (Stephen Beck) (10/19/84)
Which brings up a topic that I'd like to discuss: Misheard Lyrics I too misheard "The sky's in love with you" for "This guy's in love with you" Also misheard: that classic Neil Diamond "Reverend Bluejeans" - "Forever in Bluejeans", the Beatle's "My glove does it good" (honest!) and a black female vocalist ( Diana Ross?) "I never can study the Bible"- "I never can say good-bye, boy". Oh almost forgot, when that candy was popular there was that song with the lyrics, "Pop rock hearts out on the bouvelard tonight". Actually that one in its correct form could be considered one of the worst, esp. the next line, "Another hungry shark up from the bottom for another bite." Think I'll go get my ears cleaned. Stephen Beck - mr.office automation
bllklly@uwmacc.UUCP (Bill Kelly) (10/23/84)
My own miscellaneous responses:
Re Tom Lehrer:
Computer buffs (I'll not temppt the flamers by saying hackers) ought to
like Tom Lehrer's esoteric sense of humor -- he has one song that teaches
base 12 mathematics!
Another worthy tune from Demento is My Dead Dog Rover
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
Who I overlooked before
I ran him over with the power mower...
And on the topic of poems written to fit a multisyllabic word on a single
line, there's always Asimov's pick for limerick of the year a few years
ago. He said the fourth line made up for what he considers a fatal flaw in
the limerick, the fact that it's not dirty:
The bustard's an exquisite fowl
With minimal reason to growl
He's spared what would be
Illegitimacy
By the grace of a fortunate vowel
And thanks to whoever mentioned my personal (least) favorite, L.A. Woman!
--
Bill Kelly
{allegra, ihnp4, seismo}!uwvax!uwmacc!bllklly
1210 West Dayton St/U Wisconsin Madison/Mad WI 53706
"Life's like a jigsaw...you get the straight bits, but there's plenty
missing in the middle." -- Xtcron@brl-tgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) (10/24/84)
> My own miscellaneous responses: > > Re Tom Lehrer: > Computer buffs (I'll not temppt the flamers by saying hackers) ought to > like Tom Lehrer's esoteric sense of humor -- he has one song that teaches > base 12 mathematics! It's base eight (base eight is like base-10 if your missing two fingers). -Ron Sixty-four? Where does he get 64 from, I hear you ask? Well, Sixty-four is eight-squared. Ask a silly question, get a silly answer.
acsgjjp@sunybcs.UUCP (The Central Scrutinizer) (10/25/84)
[Hearts full of youth, hearts full of truth; 6 parts gin to 1 part vermouth."] > >> You bet I remember "Three little fitties;" however, I was five or > >> six at the time, so I can't remember the name of the song..... > >> ..... I think this song came out sometime between 1950 and 1952. > > > >I would have guessed sometime in the 1940's, but memory is treacherous. > >I think it was just called "Three Little Fishes". > > ....the Three Little whatever's . My father says he heard it in college > in the mid 30's. I don't doubt that there was a version in the early > 50's though; the idea that covering other people's songs showes a lack > of creativity is a fairly new one. Kay Kyser's "Three Little Fishies (Itty Bitty Poo)" was indeed out in the 30's. It may have had a comeback in later times. (How many out there have heard of (or even remember) Kay Kyser's Kollege of Musical Knowledge (?)) I know this because I remember hearing these old songs on the Dr. Demento show, when it was on here in Buffalo. (Since this past January, I've been listening to it on CHUM-FM from Toronto.) Maybe there should be a net.music.demented for us devotees of the show :-) . (He plays Tom Lehrer!) "Tom Lehrer is to college life what Mark Russell is to American politics." -- From under the smogberry trees.... Jim Poltrone (a/k/a Poltr1, the Last of the Raster Blasters) uucp: [decvax,watmath,rocksvax]!sunybcs!acsgjjp ARPAnet, CSnet: acsgjjp%buffalo@CSNET-RELAY Don't forget to STAY DEMENTED!
jdb@qubix.UUCP (Jeff Bulf) (10/27/84)
> My own miscellaneous responses: > > Re Tom Lehrer: > Computer buffs (I'll not temppt the flamers by saying hackers) ought to > like Tom Lehrer's esoteric sense of humor -- he has one song that teaches > base 12 mathematics! Another of my personal favorites from Lehrer is _The Elements_, his setting of the periodic table to a Gilbert & Sullivan "patter" tune. "These are the only ones of which the news has come to Haavad. And there may be many others but they haven't been discaavad." -- Dr Memory ...{decvax,ucbvax,ihnp4}!decwrl!qubix!jdb
ted@usceast.UUCP (Ted Nolan) (10/27/84)
In article <1572@uvacs.UUCP> gmf@uvacs.UUCP writes: > >[Bugs eat this and bugs eat that; boom bum biddle duddum bat] > >> You bet I remember "Three little fitties;" however, I was five or >> six at the time, so I can't remember the name of the song..... >> ..... I think this song came out sometime between 1950 and 1952. >> Another oldie but baddie from the same time period [was Mairzie >> Doats]..... >> ...unc!wfi! > > >I would have guessed sometime in the 1940's, but memory is treacherous. >I think it was just called "Three Little Fishes". And then there was > > Hutsut rawlson on the rillerah > And a brawla brawla sooitt... > Actually, this came up just tonight (oct 20) when The Prarie Home Companion did the Three Little whatever's . My father says he heard it in college in the mid 30's. I don't doubt that there was a version in the early 50's though; the idea that covering other people's songs showes a lack of creativity is a fairly new one. While we are on old silly songs , how about the ever popular "Flat foot floogie with a floy floy", or "The Booglie Wooglie Piggly Wiggly" (this one is really bad, though I kind of like the other). Ted Nolan ..usceast!ted -- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ted Nolan ...decvax!mcnc!ncsu!ncrcae!usceast!ted 6536 Brookside Circle ...akgua!usceast!ted Columbia, SC 29206 ("Deep space is my dwelling place, the stars my destination") -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
corwin@ut-ngp.UUCP (Corwin, Lord of Amber) (10/31/84)
<There's Sb, As, Al, Se...> Just in case y'all were interested (and even if you're not), "The Elements" by Tom Lehrer takes its tune from "I am the Very Model of A Modern Major General" by Gilbert and Sullivan from "Pirates of Penzance" I can post the total lyrics, but I won't...
paul@ISM780B.UUCP (11/03/84)
/* Written 9:19 am Oct 26, 1984 by cbneb@cbneb in ISM780B:net.music */ Neil Young on his one of his more recent albums has a fairly long song (6 to 8 minutes). The only words he sings are: "Ain't got no T-bone, got mashed potatoes" /* End of text from ISM780B:net.music */ Actually, its "Got mashed potatoes" over and over, with an occasional "Ain't got no T-bone" to keep it interesting :-). Think of it as an instrumental cut. Another almost-instrumental, by Tom Verlaine (Television), featured this conversational exchange: She said, "dream dreams the dreamer". I said, "It's not my fault." At least he didn't repeat this over and over! (the song was called "The Dream's Dream", btw).
6912ar04@sjuvax.UUCP (rowley) (11/05/84)
If you know anything about the origin of the lyrics of LA Woman, you will
realize that, while the lyrics are not exactly masterpieces, they do paint
a sharp emotional and visual picture of LA circa 1971(and even now, in late
1984) One does not have to conform to all standards of Standard English to
write(take e.e. cummings, for example...).
A.J. Rowley
--
There is no dark side of the moon really; as a matter of fact, it's all dark...
-"Eclipse", Pink Floydmarkv@dartvax.UUCP (Mark Vita) (11/14/84)
> > If you know anything about the origin of the lyrics of LA Woman, you will > realize that, while the lyrics are not exactly masterpieces, they do paint > a sharp emotional and visual picture of LA circa 1971(and even now, in late > 1984) One does not have to conform to all standards of Standard English to > write(take e.e. cummings, for example...). > > A.J. Rowley > -- > There is no dark side of the moon really; as a matter of fact, it's all dark... > > -"Eclipse", Pink Floyd I never said that I disliked the lyrics to L.A. Woman. I think it's a great song. It's "Light My Fire" that I think is pretty stupid, and I don't think that song paints an emotional or visual picture of anything. The only thing that bothers me about "L.A. Woman" is the particular line "You know they are a liar...". I don't mind bad English in the lyrics to a song, but that line just grates on the nerves. Yes, and take e.e. cummings. Please. -- Mark Vita Dartmouth College USENET: {decvax,cornell,linus,astrovax}!dartvax!markv ARPA: markv%dartmouth@csnet-relay CSNET: markv@dartmouth