sastry@uscvax.UUCP (V. B. K. Sarma) (03/27/85)
The following is a petition being circulated among some enlightened indians
anxious to end the farce. Please make copies and mail to the address below.
If you cannot sign, a thumb print will be sufficient.
Elizabeth Windsor Regina
Queen of England
Buckingham Palace
London, U.K.
Subject: Petition from loyal Indian ex-subjects for the re-annexation of India
to the British Empire
My Dear Queen,
We, the people of India, having gone through some intensely cerebral
discussions about our relationship to mother England have decided that we
are indeed an inferior race. The image that the western media portray of us
is, if anything, an overly generous depiction of our so-called civilisation.
Watching many recent television shows and films about our benighted country
we come to the enlightened realisation that we are still children in need of
mother England's milk. After nearly 40 years of wandering away from the
warmth of your bosom, not having learned any of the skills that your people
tried to teach us, we are still a bunch of mud-coloured people. Instead of
going to school, we played all sorts of games like cricket, parliament
elections and some of us even learned to use big words and exchange IDEAS
over computer networks. After trying all these games our skins still
stubbornly refuse to turn even a pale pink.
Recently, we started going to your other colony, AMERICA. Here also we tried
desparately to reach you by trying to learn from your other children. We
have also failed at this.
Our only hope is for you to forgive us and take us back. If you refuse we
will all move to Southall, to be near you.
Your humble, brown servant
P.S. Please send Princess Di immediately as the first Vicerene of newly
dependent india. baparao@uscvax.UUCP (Bapa Rao) (04/04/85)
:-(= > ... After nearly 40 years of wandering away from the > warmth of your bosom, not having learned any of the skills that your people > tried to teach us, we are still a bunch of mud-coloured people. I resent that, dammit! Where does this Sarma guy get off, calling us all "mud-coloured" people? For his information, middle/upper-middle class Indians are definitely NOT mud-colored. They are colored in graceful earth tones. The un-hip, "dehati" types are chocolate-colored. Get it right, fella! > P.S. Please send Princess Di immediately as the first Vicerene of newly > dependent india. > Well, I guess at least she is better-looking than her mum-in-law. But seriously, does this proposed reversion to the throne mean that we have to go through the tedious business of changing our lifestyles to accommodate the current fashion trends in Britain? That could be a prolem, you know. Somehow, "Boy Subrahmanyeswara Sankaralingam Pillai" lacks the zip and verve of "Boy George". P.S. I did honestly try to draw smiley faces all over this article, but the best I could manage was :-(= . It sort of looks like a glum face with an out-stuck tongue. I apologise for my incompetence. Share and enjoy. --Bapa Rao.