wpl@burdvax.UUCP (William Loftus) (06/15/85)
Having read net.nlang.india since it started, but not being Indi-
an I have refrained from giving my views on the subjects dis-
cussed. That is, until now. The original question about how an
educated person could participate in an 'arranged' marriage, was
worded very poorly, but I still think most people in net land
should be big enough to respond not by just attacking the ques-
tion.
First of all, I do not believe that people can compare the same
institution in two different cultures without looking at each
culture. The US is very different from India, and I find that a
lot of the Indians that come to the US never try to find out
what the US is really like. In a US family, independence is
stressed. As soon as a person is mature enough to make deci-
sions, they are encouraged to do so. Where as in Indian family,
dependence is stressed. Indian parents try to support their
children as long as possible.
I am not say which system is better, personally I think neither
of them is better. But I believe that they are both striving
towards the same goal, that the children be able to support
themselves when the parents are gone. In the US it is rela-
tively easy for a child to become successful, by letting them
make their own decision and helping them when they really need
it. In India it is not so easy for a child to become successful,
if you kick them out the door with no support. It is not a lack
of caring for their children that Indian parents support them,
but it is to help them build a solid base in society. But it
is also not a lack of caring in the US either, most US parents
will support their children in times of need.
So to get back to the question about marriage, what is wrong with
letting your parents find you a mate, if they have been trying to
support you in every way they could. And on the other hand what
is wrong with picking your own mate if you have been taught to do
everything yourself. Do not misquote me, I know that the final
decision to get married is up the the people involved.
I would be very interested in see a discussion of the difference
between US culture and Indian culture.
Please reply, if you think I am wrong tell me why, if I am right
pat me on the back.
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/ /======/ Ronin ..!burdvax!wpl
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