gopal@amdcad.UUCP (Gopal Srinath) (10/13/85)
Before letting this discussion go further we need to have a precise definition of dowry so we all talk the same language. All of us have some idea (maybe each a different one). For example , if the groom were to receive a few thousand rupees worth of dress and the bride received an equivalent amount in jewellery from the groom , would it be considered dowry ? One defn can be: Anything that is demanded by the groom and his family( that is not volunteered by the bride's fly). ANother can be : Any goods or money given by bride and her family that does not go to the bride and groom ( but is used for other people - groom's parents, friends etc.) Even in US, presents are given for the couple by parents. It would be wrong to call every gift to the couple from the bride's fly as dowry. There is another major issue not addressed by discussions so far. In the marriages I know of (middle class S Indian) the 'dowry' if any rarely exceeds 5000 rupees while the marriage expenses can easil;y be 5 times as much. There are quite a few marriages without dowry, but I have not come across any where the two parties shared the marriage expenses. This , I believe is more important , financially in th environment I come from. True equality of the sexes cannot be achieved until equality of expense sharing is accepted - we have to go beyond 'no dowry'.