[net.nlang.india] Dowry and Indian Marriages

gowri@petfe.UUCP (R Mahalingaiah) (10/29/85)

I am not a regular reader of the net news, so I might have missed few
postings hence the views in this posting might have already been
discussed.
As I have read a lot about the dowry system, I wanted to add few
remarks. In the region I come from (Bangalore), giving/taking dowry is
considered quite obscene and I have not heard of any cases of 'dowry'
marriages.

On the other hand, a lot of money and effort are squandered in
celebrating a grand wedding which is more of a social prestige than
of any enjoyment. Traditionally, brides' parents are responsible for the
wedding ( which generally goes on for two days). The bride's party is
expected to feed hundereds of guests (in normal middle class family -
~1000), shower relatives with presents, and heed to
every whim and fancy of the bridegroom's party. This is totally unfair
and even though I am completely against dowry, it makes me feel that
there is more sense in the couple's parents giving gifts to their
children to help them set up a family. In todays economical and social
status this seems more logical than spending so much money on the
ceremony.

I know few men, settled in this country, going home , getting married
and complain about the way wedding was performed. It is their wedding
too. So why shouldnt they share the expense and the effort if they want
a grand wedding?

Isnt it time to try to reduce the unwanted long ceremony to a simple,
nice, pleasent ceremony? As a straters, wouldnt it be nice if 
at least few individuals, with minds of their own go, for simple
marriages with no dowry?