wutka@gitpyr.UUCP (Mutant I) (07/07/85)
The content of this message is essentially something
that belongs on net.jokes. But, since not everyone who
reads net.jokes plays Hack, I thought it would be better
to post it here.
Are You a Hack addict ?
Just ask yourself a few simple questions:
Do you run through bookstores picking up all you can carry and then read every
thing you have in the hope of teleporting out of the store ?
Do you point your pens and pencils at people hoping for a bolt of fire or cold ?
Do you have a mad craving for spinach ?
When you try on clothes do you ask the sales person if "this armor is cursed ?"?
Are you afraid to wear your class ring because you are afraid it might be
a ring of aggravate professor ?
Do you call a dictionary a scroll of identify ?
Do you keep a scroll of magic mapping in your glove compartment ?
Do you call your puppy's food "tripe ration" ??
Do you find yourself scribbling the word "Elbereth" into the dirt ?
Do you name your pencil "Orcrist" ??
When you trip and fall do you blame an invisible stalker ?
When someone invites you to get stoned do you reply "No thanks, I don't really
like cockatrices" ??
Do you jump at the mention of an ant or a bee ??
Do you pulverize boxes of Lucky Charms hoping to beat a few gold pieces out
of Lucky ?
Do you call salespeople "Manlobbi" or "Asidonhopo" ?
Do you categorize people as either tourist, speleologist, fighter, knight
caveman or wizard ?
Do you get "strange feelings" when you take SPELLing tests ?
Do you often think about Maud ?
Finally, do you consider UNIX (trademark of Bell labs blah blah blah) as
"the thing that get you to hack" ?
--
Mark Wutka
Office of Computing Services
Georgia Institute of Technology
Atlanta, Ga.
...!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,masscomp,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!wutka
...!{rlgvax,sb1,uf-cgrl,unmvax,ut-sally}!gatech!gitpyr!wutka
this is what happens when I roll my head on the keyboard:
b mfdfgm ,iutfrdffdbfv jkhgtxdhl;kuje il;'li5rdjil.idr