mej@ptsfa.UUCP (Mary Johnson) (12/11/84)
I found this posted on the wall of a neighboring office, and it
suited both my mood and the season so well that I decided to pass
it on.
'Twas the Night Before Crisis
'Twas the night before crisis, and all through the house
Not a program was working not even a browse.
The programmers were wrung out too mindless to care
Knowing chances of cutover hadn't a prayer.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of inquiries danced in their heads,
When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my tube to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a super programmer, oblivious to fear.
More rapid than eagles his programs they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!
On Batch Jobs! On Closing! On Functions Complete!"
His eyes were glazed over, his fingers were lean
From weekends and nights in front of a screen,
But a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
Turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger on the ENTER key,
The system came up and worked perfectly.
The updates updates; the deletes, they deleted;
the inquiries inquired; and the closing completed.
He tested each whistle and tested each bell
With nary an abend, and all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded;
The client's last changes were even included.
And the client exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for, but it's not what I want!"
Mary Eileen Johnson
{ihnp4,ucbvax,cbosgd,hplabs,decwrl,amd,sun,nsc}!dual!ptsfa!mej