emery@fluke.UUCP (John Emery) (09/22/85)
Hello,
I wish to thank the christians on the net who have given me
(and others) joy by the articles they have posted. It so wonderful
to see the Spirit work through this forum (a computer network of
all things!). Seeing as though Peter Homeier and Dave Kirby have told
of how they came to walk with Jesus, I guess I can also bear to give
my testimony.
As a young child before my school days, our family used to go to
church every Sunday. Unfortunately, our family was not very well off
and my parents felt they were being looked down upon. By the time I
was old enough to start school, we had stopped attending church. As
I grew, everything I knew about religion came from what I saw and
heard from other people, friends, TV, etc. As I grew through my school
years, I would ocassionally attend religious activities with friends.
I seemed to believe in God but that's about as far as it went.
After graduating from high school, I started dating the girl who
was to be my wife. Her family went to church every Sunday. As we
became more involved, I started to go to church with her family every
few Sundays. I always tried to understand how some people could have
feelings for and get excited about God. I knew that Jesus had supposedly
died for me and for my sins but this seemed more like a concept rather
than something real and personal. I knew the Bible was supposeldly
God's word but I always had more important things to do than to get bored
reading it.
As I went through college, many times I would stop among a crowd on
campus to listen to a person or persons witnessing for Christ. Although
I thought they were just "relgious fanatics," I found it quite interesting
to listen to them. I felt very uncomfortable if someone like that approached
me personally, but I had decided not to look down upon them and to accept
them as they were. I would usually listen to what they had to say and then
make up some excuse for having to leave. My ideology was that even if
there was some truth in what they were saying, I could never be like that.
I thought that it was a personality trait or something. I thought that
it was physically and mentally impossible for me to be like that because
it just wasn't me. It was enough for me to ocassionally attend church, but
to live a christian life was something entirely different.
Then something strange happened to me. It was around Easter and I was
watching TV. As I was flipping through the stations I came upon a movie
that was just starting about the life of Jesus. I decided to watch. As
the movie progressed I became increasingly interested and soon could not
leave from my seat. My wife had gone to bed and I stayed up to watch. My
heart started to melt and by the end of the movie I felt I had done Jesus
a great injustice for not loving him. I started to cry and tell Jesus how
sorry I was for not loving him for all he had done for me. Well this lasted
for a couple weeks. I thought about Jesus in my heart, but these thoughts
started becoming shorter and less frequent. Soon I was pretty much back to
my old ways, listening to rock music like "AC/DC" and the "Scorpions," and
other things which I don't care to mention. One thing that was different
was that occasionally I would feel guilty and say to the Lord: "Jesus, I'm
sorry for what I'm doing but I can't help it. I know you disapprove and
someday perhaps I will give up my ways." I remember how I would get angry
at God and wonder why everything that was bad was so fun and enjoyable and
hard to give up.
Then it happened! Praise God! One Saturday my wife and I were driving
around our neighborhood after we had just relocated. We came upon a church
that was my wife's denomination. My heart started pounding and a strange
peace came upon me. I knew that I had to start going to church. I knew
that the actual denomination didn't matter, just that I had to start
going to church. The next day we went and my heart was full of joy and
excitement. It was announced that the following Tuesday, classes would
begin for those who wanted to join the church. An event that happens only
once a year!! It was at this time that I decided to accept Jesus Christ
as my personal Savior and my entire life drastically changed. The peace
and joy was overwhelming. Not one day passed when God was not the first
thing on my mind. Everythings I did was for God. I continually confessed
my sins and begged for God to continue to change me and mold me into the
man he wants through Jesus. Never in my life had I ever concieved that
it could be anyway close to what it was like to be one of God's children
and to be part of his Son's kingdom.
Shortly after this I bought a Bible and started to read it. Since
I didn't know where to start, I started at the beginning. I figured I
would just continue reading in sequence so that I would not miss anything.
Well after a while I started skipping around the Old Testament. Finally,
I decided to read the Gospels and learn more about the life of Jesus.
Then one night something amazing happened to me. I had just finished
reading one of the Gospels (I don't remember which one) from start to
finish and was laying in bed around 9pm just thinking about Jesus and how
great my new life was. Suddenly my whole body started to tingle and I
felt something inside me. It kept increasing and became more intense.
I was filled with an indescribable peace and a love that overwhelmed me.
I became so very joyful with what felt like a hurricane of emotion going
wild within me. I knew it was God's Holy Spirit. I started praising Him
over and over saying how glorious He was and how righteous and good He
was and how eternal and everlasting He was. My eyes became filled with
tears yet I continued for about 5 minutes. It slowly decreased until
I reached a constant semi-ecstatic state. I was not able to sleep most
of the rest of that night as I boasted in this unearthly love inside me.
I had other indwellings similiar to this but not quite as intense. The
important thing was that I was surrendering my old ways and living under
the grace of God and in His love. Prayer became a normal way of life
and my love for Jesus grew. My love for others around me (especially those
less fortunate) also grew. Instead of feeling more righteous, many times
I realized how imperfect I was. I wasn't always as loving to others as
Jesus was. Ocassionally I would still get angry over selfish ambitions.
But God used this to help me realize how much I needed His Son who died
for me because of my sinfulness so that I could share undeservingly in
his eternal presence.
Well, that's it. Of course there has been so much more that I could
not possibly describe it in any short amount of space. As every born-again
christian will tell you, there have been trials and times of growth
resulting from painful experiences that at the time they were occuring
seemed unsensible of unloving on God's part. However, I can now see
looking back in retrospect how God used many of these trials for my sake.
Of course there are things I still don't understand and can't see God's
reasoning in. All that we can do is to have faith in God's unimaginable
wisdom and his promise of our future glory.
To those who are skeptical about God's love, as an ex-nonbeliever
I implore you to give God a chance to prove that His promises are true.
I reccomend starting with the Gospel of John. Read it with an open heart.
Although our world around us crumbles and externally it looks hopeless,
the gift God has given us is inside us and with this gift we are set free
from the world.
Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts,
the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." (Galatians 4:6)
Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.
Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." "So if the
Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:31-32,36)
I (Paul) consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing
with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)
In His Name,
John Emery
foy@aero.ARPA (Richard Foy) (09/25/85)
In article <1476@vax3.fluke.UUCP> emery@fluke.UUCP (John Emery) writes: > > >Hello, > > I wish to thank the christians on the net who have given me >(and others) joy by the articles they have posted. It so wonderful >to see the Spirit work through this forum (a computer network of >all things!). Seeing as though Peter Homeier and Dave Kirby have told >of how they came to walk with Jesus, I guess I can also bear to give >my testimony. Testimony deleted. >with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18) > >In His Name, > >John Emery > Your testimony was great. I hope that you can accept that people of other faiths can have the same qulaitative experience, with the same positive results to their behavior. Richard Foy