bobm (01/14/83)
#N:hp-pcd:6400010:000:2479
hp-pcd!bobm Jan 13 13:10:00 1983
Alright, folks. According to the U.S. Census Bureau (the same
people who counted a million more women than men who are
separated from their spouses - does net.singles know about
this?) in this week's Newsweek, not only is there a North
Dakota, but it also has the lowest incidence of syphilis
in the U.S. (0.3 cases per 100,000) and the least crime.
According to my atlas, there are some 660K+ inhabitants of
the state, and according to my calculator that means there
were 2 cases of syphilis (reported, I'm sure!) in the state
in 1980. This leads to an interesting contradiction:
a quick glance at the map shows ND to be located (thought
to be located??) in a very cold part of the states. This
explains the low crime rate right off the bat - who wants
to sneak around in the freezing snow at night when the whole
place might not be real anyway? I'd sure rather stay at home
in my own safe little reality and try to keep warm in the
best possible way. Which brings us to the contradiction:
surely if everybody was at home keeping warm, there would be
a much higher incidence of genital flu! Now, either the natives
are well-informed about such things, and make an effort to
avoid needless complications (Bravo for them if that is the
case - after all, practice makes perfect!) or it is indeed
true that ND does not exist. Since the former cannot be
demonstrated (after all - nobody yet has ever said that they
have actually *BEEN* to ND, have they?) the latter must be true.
Q.E.D North Dakota does not exist and is a figment of our
imagination, as well as the imagination of the U.S. Census Bureau.
Seriously, one of my housemates in college was from ND (at
least he had ND plates on his car), so I'm at least 50% convinced
that there is such a place. Of course, he did say that nothing
ever happened there - all of the good life (i.e., any social
event taking place when the temperature was over 0 degrees -
that usually meant the May-September timeframe!) was in Minnesota.
So I'm still not convinced...
Bob May
...!hplabs!hp-pcd!bobm
P.S. net.games.trivia addicts might want to see this issue of Newsweek.
There are some fascinating nuggets of gold in there, including
the fact that there are only 6 (count 'em - six!) Samoans
in Arkansas and that Ohio is the most "normal" state,
demographically speaking. I've always wanted to see that
family that has 1.2 kids and 2.4 cars!knight (01/15/83)
On the other hand, for those of us fond of meaningless circumstantial evidence, about two years ago the "North Dakota Board of Tourism" published a work of fiction, er, a pamphlet detailing the sites to see in North Dakota. On the cover of this pamphlet--no lie--was a photograph of Mt. Rushmore. Steve Knight ihnp4!stolaf!knight harpo!stolaf!knight
cfiaime (01/22/83)
North Dakota - isn't that the place about 600 miles north of the rainbow in Kansas (the "Land of Ahhhhhs")