lauren (04/10/83)
The "missing sock" mystery has been studied in detail as part of a recent government survey of hyperspacial access techniques. In brief, it turned out that the particular rotation and heat conditions of the average clothes dryer tend to create very small hyperspace "pockets" in the space-time continuum, just large enough to hold a single sock. This is (understandably) an unstable condition, and tends to reverse itself during a subsequent use of the dryer (thusly causing the missing socks to reappear). If anyone will buy this concept, I've got some other stuff to sell you as well. --Lauren--
evans (04/11/83)
Isn't it the most amazing thing how one subject of streetlamps can evolve into socks and then to coathangers in less than one hour?
raz (04/12/83)
Actually, the Wishy Washy Washing Machine Company of Walla Walla
Washington (headquarters on Betelgeuse) are currently working on an FTL
drive under the code name "Silk Stockings".
They theorize that if they can expand the hyperspacial anamoly
into which socks disappear, a vehicle could be moved between any two
points for about the cost of your favorite pair of socks. This would
certainly replace the Infinite Imporobability Drive, and possibly even
the BistroMath Drive depending on the ratio of the cost of a new pair
of socks and that of a reasonable Italian dinner.
One of the big problems they are having is that the drive refuses
to work with argyle socks or socks that have a clock on them.
Yours for creative thought,
{decvax!idis!mi-cec!}raz
Robert A Zimmermannrichk (04/14/83)
I don't know what everyone is yelling about, as I have never lost a sock in
a washer or dryer. However, I have run into several machines that like
to eat wash-cloths. These species of washers and/or dryers seem to prefer
dark blue, thou they will occasionally eat light blue.
Richard
uucp: {ucbvax,decvax,chico,pur-ee,cbosg,ihnss}!teklabs!tektronix!richk
CSnet: richk@tek
ARPAnet:richk.tek@rand-relayesac (04/14/83)
I have a gas dryer which generates quite a bit of static if you dont throw in one of those fabric softening sheets. I think this is probably important (the static) to the "hyperspace pockets" theorem of the missing socks. The more static the more you can lose. I recently lost an entire load to a tear in the space-time continuum. The only way I recovered the missing items was to run the dryer empty until most of my clothes reappeared. I've heard it said that if you don't recover your missing articles within a week, they can move about into someone else's hyperspace. You might want to check with your neighbors to see if any of your clothes are mysteriously turning up in their dryer.
mleech (04/17/83)
Recently, I went on an all-out hunt for the mates to 26 lost socks, and eventually found them buried deep in a box in my closet. I also found 37 (yes, 37!!) other socks that a) I had never seen before and b) were mateless. Perhaps your hyperspatial dryer is passing them on to a discontinuity in my closet... This all sounds vaguely reminiscent of a certain "Improbability Drive" I read about somewhere... Marcus Leech, NABU Commercial Systems Engineering: (not on the net yet...) utzoo!mleech (only gets read about once a month)
iz328 (04/20/83)
I have had it demonstrated to me that clothing left too long in the dryer
can end up in someone else's hyperspace. Last week, when I was drying
my last load of O.P. shorts, alligator shirts, and topsiders (I'm a
true U.C. San Diego student, mind) I heard a loud -THUMP- from the
machine. Upon investigation, I found that several pairs of leather
slacks, some knotted neckties, and a nun's habit had miraculously
appeared among my clothes. Odder still was the person with the safety
pins through his gums who grabbed these articles from the top of my
laundry basket on my way to my apartment. All he said was "Sorry, like
Jupiter rehearsal" in a very high voice, and walked away.........
:-) So it goes......
Jack of Shadows.