[net.misc] Finding Missing Socks

presley (04/16/83)

One of the best ways to find lost socks is to get two 12" copper wires,
make a 3" bend in each one, and then walk around the laundry room
with the wires help in each fist.  When you get close to a sock, the
wires will move toward each other.  Research at the Uri Geller Institute
of Technology has shown that the longer a sock has been owned, the
easier it is to find it.  It also works best if the owner does the
dowsing.  Doctor F. Lam Flim of UGIT has theorized that the presence
of subatomic particles, called hosieryons, interact with the aura of
the person holding the wires.
-- 
	Joseph H. Presley
	...!{mhuxj,alice}!presley

bstempleton (04/20/83)

These suggestions that missing socks are being transported through
hyperspace from your dryer are just ludicrous.  People should really
apply Occam's rule to this, and find a solution that makes much more sense.

Of what is it to the dryer manufacturers to put in such hypersace warp
devices?  Cleary those with the most to gain are the sock manufacturers.

The actual truth is this.   Each sock purchased is equipped with a small
all-on-one-chip microprocessor, with transducers for humidity and temperature,
plus a random number generator.  If the micro detect the sock is in the
dryer, it has a random chance of setting off a chain reaction which alters
the genetic structure of the sock, and has it disolve into the air.

The micro itself turns itself into a few grains of sand, since we have all
seen on tv that that is what they are made of.

	"Nuke the unborn gay whales for Christ"
		Brad Templeton

mcdaniel (04/28/83)

#R:mhuxj:-19300:uiucdcs:10600101:000:263
uiucdcs!mcdaniel    Apr 27 21:09:00 1983

A friend has discovered Gunsch's Law:
        If you lose one sock of a pair, its mate will *never* be lost
        (not even if you try to lose it).
This is obviously an instance of the Pauli Exclusion Principle,
as applied to hyperspace and quantum socks . . .