presley (04/16/83)
One of the best ways to find lost socks is to get two 12" copper wires, make a 3" bend in each one, and then walk around the laundry room with the wires help in each fist. When you get close to a sock, the wires will move toward each other. Research at the Uri Geller Institute of Technology has shown that the longer a sock has been owned, the easier it is to find it. It also works best if the owner does the dowsing. Doctor F. Lam Flim of UGIT has theorized that the presence of subatomic particles, called hosieryons, interact with the aura of the person holding the wires. -- Joseph H. Presley ...!{mhuxj,alice}!presley
bstempleton (04/20/83)
These suggestions that missing socks are being transported through hyperspace from your dryer are just ludicrous. People should really apply Occam's rule to this, and find a solution that makes much more sense. Of what is it to the dryer manufacturers to put in such hypersace warp devices? Cleary those with the most to gain are the sock manufacturers. The actual truth is this. Each sock purchased is equipped with a small all-on-one-chip microprocessor, with transducers for humidity and temperature, plus a random number generator. If the micro detect the sock is in the dryer, it has a random chance of setting off a chain reaction which alters the genetic structure of the sock, and has it disolve into the air. The micro itself turns itself into a few grains of sand, since we have all seen on tv that that is what they are made of. "Nuke the unborn gay whales for Christ" Brad Templeton
mcdaniel (04/28/83)
#R:mhuxj:-19300:uiucdcs:10600101:000:263 uiucdcs!mcdaniel Apr 27 21:09:00 1983 A friend has discovered Gunsch's Law: If you lose one sock of a pair, its mate will *never* be lost (not even if you try to lose it). This is obviously an instance of the Pauli Exclusion Principle, as applied to hyperspace and quantum socks . . .