gs@mit-eddie.UUCP (Gordon Strong) (09/20/84)
You asked for it. From "HowToGAMIT (How to Get Around MIT) XV"
1983 edition. Additional verses from the APO song book.
The Engineers' Drinking Song (Lady Godiva)
Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride
To show the royal villagers her fair and pure white hide.
The most observant man of all, an engineer of course,
Was the only man who noticed that Godiva rode a horse.
chorus:
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the engineers.
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers.
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum all day and come along with us.
For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us.
She said I've come a long, long way, and I shall go as far
With the man who takes me from this horse and leads me to a bar.
The men who took her from her steed and lead her to her beer
Were a bleary eyed surveyor and a drunken engineer.
chorus
My father was a miner from the Northern Malamute,
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill repute.
The last time that I saw them, these words rang in my ears,
"GO TO MIT YOU SON OF A BITCH AND JOIN THE ENGINEERS!!!"
chorus
Princeton's run by Wellesley, Wellesley's run by Yale
Yale is run by Vassar, and Vassar's run by tail
Harvard's run by stiff pricks, this kind you raise by hand.
But MIT's run by engineers, the finest in the land.
chorus
If we should find a Harvard man within our sacred walls,
We'll take him up to physics lab and amputate his balls.
And if he hollers Uncle, I'll tell you what we'll do
We'll stuff his ass with broken glass, and seal it up with glue
chorus
MIT was MIT when Harvard was a pup.
And MIT will be MIT when Harvard's time is up.
And any Harvard son of a bitch who thinks he's in our class
Can pucker up his rosy lips and kiss the beaver's ass.
chorus
An artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can,
Said the artsman "Match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man."
They drank three times, the artsman falls, his face was turning gree,
But the Engineer drank on and said "It's only gasoline."
chorus
The Army and the Navy went out to have some fun.
They went down to the taverns where the fiery liquors run.
But all they found were empties, for the engineers had come,
And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.
chorus
Venus was a statue made entirely of stone.
Without a stitch upon her, she was naked as a bone.
On seeing that she had no clothes, an engineer discoursed:
"Why the damn thing's only concrete, and should be reinforced!"
chorus
Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho.
The Prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst,
For the Engineer took the elevator and reached Rapunzel first.
chorus
Caesar set out for Egypt at the age of fifty three,
But Cleopatra's blood was warm, her heart was young and free.
And every night when Julius said goodnight at three o'clock,
There was a Roman engineer waiting just around the block!
chorus
An engineer once staggered in through the Roderick Gate,
He was carrying a load you would expect to ship by freight.
The only thing that kept him upright and on his course,
Were the boundary conditions and the coreolis force.
chorus
Ace Towing roams the streets of Cambridge each and every night.
They tow cars and stow cars and hide them out of sight;
They tried to tow Godiva's horse, the Engineers said "Hey!"
They towed away their towing truck and now the Ace must Pay!
chorus
Sir Francis Drake and all his ships set out for Calais Bay.
They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was headed on their way.
But the engineers had beat them by a night and half a day
And though as drunk as ptarmigans, you still could hear them say:
chorus
A maiden and an engineer were sitting in the park,
The engineer was working on some research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe --
While his right hand wrote the figures, his left hand traced the curves.
chorus
A coed and a Harvard man were sitting in the park,
Doing independent, intermural, research after dark.
She felt his pace was slowing down: he'd only had six beers.
She said "take me back to MIT, I want my Engineers!"
chorus
An MIT computer man got drunk one fateful night.
He opened up the console and smashed everything in sight.
And after they subdued him, the judge he stood before,
Said, "Lock him up for 20 years, he's rotten to the core!"
chorus
A physics man from MIT went out and drank his fill.
And then went to a strip joint 'cause he had some time to kill.
The motions that he witnesses there excited all his nerves,
And he filled eleven napkins with equations of the curves.
chorus
A graduate in chemistry went out to take a stroll
Along the Charles River bank, where all the compounds roll.
That day he felt dejected at the bursting of a dream,
He couldn't seem to find a trace of water in the stream.
----
Gordon Strong (MIT '85)
{decvax!genrad, ihnp4}!mit-eddie!gs
GS@MIT-XX