spaf@gatech.UUCP (11/08/83)
Well, I've gotten 9 pieces of mail today from people who are interested
in seeing the signature contest results, but they don't get net.jokes
at their sites. I think it's a pity that net.jokes isn't
seen in those places, but that's life. So, for those of you who
can't bear to be without it, here is the article I posted to
net.jokes:
As many of you may know, I asked for suggestions for a new signature
line about a month ago. The reason for this is that someone at CMU
complained about my using "From the padded cell of Gene Spafford." It
seems that he believes he came up with the "padded cell" designation
first and I was infringing on his territory. Well, I always have
believed it safer not to argue with someone who thinks they belong in
a padded cell, so I decided to come up with a new signature line.
I got a lot of interesting suggestions, some of which are summarized
below. As you will note at the end of the article, I have a new
signature. It was suggested to me by a someone who doesn't even use
computers, but it seems appropriate.
Also, thanks to all those of you who sent mail to my advisor for
his...er...commentary...on my request. He's really not that bad most
of the time (you're still reading net.jokes, right Martin?).
Anyhow, to the suggestions and prizes:
** First prize entry **
From: pat@uiucuxc
2) "... from under the thumb of Martin McKendry" (your adv.)
Patrick Kane
** Patrick, for your outstanding entry, you win an all-expenses paid
vacation for two to the main public library back on Vega. Once
you get the visas taken care of and the flight booked, let me
know and I'll take care of the rest. Either that, or a week
helping me think up excuses to present to the esteemed Dr. McKendry.
** Second prize entry **
From: reid@uwvax
...from the sparse matrix of Gene Spafford
** One of my judges loved this entry. Then again, he's been known to
laugh at my jokes, too, and that is a sign of definite brain damage.
For this fine entry, you win my old signature line.
** Third prize entry **
From: kk9w@pur-ee
From the Chronosynclastic Infundibulum containing ...
(us hoosiers are fond of vonnegut)
** I am fond of Vonnegut, too. Therefore, third prize consists of
a week with Mr. Rosewater in the Monkey House at the Atlanta Zoo.
** Honorable Mention for Verbosity **
From: seismo!rlgvax!cvl!umcp-cs!rene
If you're going into hiding, how about 'the cave of...'?
or even 'the beautiful underwater caverns of ..' if you like pretty
scenery. Or how about 'the beautiful coral reef caverns of ...' or,
no, wait, how about 'the fantastically beautiful underwater coral
labyrinth caverns of ...'? No, wait, what about 'the incredibly
scenic caverns of breathtakingly beautiful coral reefs and amazingly
colorful sealife that abound around the island of ...'? Wait, better,
how about ...(glug, glug....)
- from the wandering mind of rene
p.s. you can use that if you like it. I usually very ergonometric and
sign just my first name.
p.p.s. Wait, how about 'from the straitjacket of ...' (is that how
that's spelled?) or 'the ever-tightening straitjacket of ...' or, wait
a minute, how about 'from the ever-tightening titanium-steel
straitjacket of ...', no, what about ...
** I hope you're feeling better now that you've gotten that out of
your system (and onto mine).
** Honorable Mention for Most Suggestions **
From: Bill Thibault <tebo@gatech>
How about "From the slashed wrists of...."
or "From the clenched fist of..."
or "from the fried fish of..."
or "From the finely apponted office of...."
or "From the fiendishly frothing face of...."
or "From Spafford with love"
or "From the flotsam laden net of...."
or "From the sumptuous sex palace of...."
or "From the guilty conscience of...."
or "From the dirty drawers of...."
or "From the silk stockings held up with sexy black garter belts of...."
or "From the ever boggled mind of..."
you get the idea. Send prizes to the Dekalb Addiction Center.
** What is mildly disturbing about this set of contributions is that
Bill shares an office with me....
** Honorable mention for duplicated suggestion (tie) **
From: fred@cvl
How about: ``The Padded Soapbox . . .''?
** and **
From: myers@uwvax
How about "The padded soapbox..."
** Suggestions I didn't understand **
From: tekmdp!dadla-b!hutch@teklabs
In haste, not waste, Spaf (Fon)
Watch for falling Rocs
More drivel from that master of the trivial, Spaf.
***********
From: hu@sdcsvax.UUCP@dcdwest
How about "From the deathbed of Gene Spafford..."?
** Various other suggestions not covered by the above **
From: Pucc-H.ab3@pur-ee
"From the perpetual underground wienie-roast of..."
Darth Wombat
***********
From: mannie@gmha
Based on Dr. McKendry's response...How 'bout ...
"From the Slapped Wrists of"
***********
From: SJOBRG.ANDY@MIT-OZ
from the dancing fingers of Gene Spafford
From: Atlanta, GA it's Geeeene SPAFFORD! (applause)
***********
From: <decwrl!qubix!lab>
1. Why didn't you warn me you were heading back to Vega? Or is Mars
*that* far out of the way (factor of < 10E-6 :-)? My only conclusion is
that someone else noticed that your books were due, so you had to leave
on short notice. Generally I'm careful about letting Earthers handle
such treasures.
2. Wouldn't it be easier to operate from an orbital laboratory? Since
I'm in the reserves, I have to spend a weekend each month and two weeks
each year in the Martian Earth-Orbit Patrol (the acronym is better in
Martian). Then you could call it "the orbiting laboratory of Gene
Spafford." If you're in engineering and want to get away from it all, it
might be "the antimatter chamber of Gene Spafford" or "the engineering
nacelle of Gene Spafford."
***********
From: mat@hou5d
How about ``The Twilight Zone of G.S.''?
Mark Terribile
Duke of deNet
***********
From: laura@utcsstat
How about "from the twisted imagination of:"
laura creighton
***********
From: howard@metheus
How about "From the spiffy genes of ..."?
Howard A. Landman
***********
From: dave@uw-beaver.UUCP@fluke
I'm mailing this to you because it is SO bad that I wouldn't dare put it
on the net. My entry is:
The Mutant Gene
I know this isn't very good but I would really like to win ( It would
mean alot to mom ).
Dave Van Ess
***********
From: stephen@uw-beaver.UUCP@alberta
If you like flaming:
From the butane tanker of ...
Stephen Samuel
***********
From: jeff1@garfield
How about "From the tiny brain of Gene Spafford"? Or, you
could insert "demented" or replace "tiny" with it.
Jeff Sparkes
***********
From: 3351dkq@houxo
How about "From the Scion of the Southland" ?
or "Hey, we're in Atlanta" ?
Keith Quarles
***********
From skip@gatech Mon Oct 17 15:19:01 1983
How about "From the Cloud of ..."
***********
From: sasw@BNL
How about "The signature line of Gene Spafford"? Or, if you are only
allowed to send out small flames and not very many, "the matchbox of
Gene Spafford"? Please mail my prize to me, c/o L.A.P.D., Waffen SS
Department, L.A. CA; they also shoot first and arrest later.
***********
From: Andrew Scott Beals <Sjobrg.Bandy%MIT-OZ@mit-mc>
from Gene Spafford, king of /dev/null
or
from the book by Gene Spafford, Directed by Gene Spafford, Gene Spafford, acting
***********
From: shannon@rand-unix
planet of.....
Thanks again to everybody who contributed. As always, this is:
--
The Wasted Intellect of Gene Spafford
School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332nCSNet: Spaf @ GATech ARPA: Spaf.GATech @ CSNet-Relaynuucp: ...!{akgua,allegra,rlgvax,sb1,unmvax,ut-ngp,ut-sally}!gatech!spafnspaf@gatech.UUCP (11/08/83)
Well, I've gotten 9 pieces of mail today from people who are interested
in seeing the signature contest results, but they don't get net.jokes
at their sites. I think it's a pity that net.jokes isn't
seen in those places, but that's life. So, for those of you who
can't bear to be without it, here is the article I posted to
net.jokes:
As many of you may know, I asked for suggestions for a new signature
line about a month ago. The reason for this is that someone at CMU
complained about my using "From the padded cell of Gene Spafford." It
seems that he believes he came up with the "padded cell" designation
first and I was infringing on his territory. Well, I always have
believed it safer not to argue with someone who thinks they belong in
a padded cell, so I decided to come up with a new signature line.
I got a lot of interesting suggestions, some of which are summarized
below. As you will note at the end of the article, I have a new
signature. It was suggested to me by a someone who doesn't even use
computers, but it seems appropriate.
Also, thanks to all those of you who sent mail to my advisor for
his...er...commentary...on my request. He's really not that bad most
of the time (you're still reading net.jokes, right Martin?).
Anyhow, to the suggestions and prizes:
** First prize entry **
From: pat@uiucuxc
2) "... from under the thumb of Martin McKendry" (your adv.)
Patrick Kane
** Patrick, for your outstanding entry, you win an all-expenses paid
vacation for two to the main public library back on Vega. Once
you get the visas taken care of and the flight booked, let me
know and I'll take care of the rest. Either that, or a week
helping me think up excuses to present to the esteemed Dr. McKendry.
** Second prize entry **
From: reid@uwvax
...from the sparse matrix of Gene Spafford
** One of my judges loved this entry. Then again, he's been known to
laugh at my jokes, too, and that is a sign of definite brain damage.
For this fine entry, you win my old signature line.
** Third prize entry **
From: kk9w@pur-ee
From the Chronosynclastic Infundibulum containing ...
(us hoosiers are fond of vonnegut)
** I am fond of Vonnegut, too. Therefore, third prize consists of
a week with Mr. Rosewater in the Monkey House at the Atlanta Zoo.
** Honorable Mention for Verbosity **
From: seismo!rlgvax!cvl!umcp-cs!rene
If you're going into hiding, how about 'the cave of...'?
or even 'the beautiful underwater caverns of ..' if you like pretty
scenery. Or how about 'the beautiful coral reef caverns of ...' or,
no, wait, how about 'the fantastically beautiful underwater coral
labyrinth caverns of ...'? No, wait, what about 'the incredibly
scenic caverns of breathtakingly beautiful coral reefs and amazingly
colorful sealife that abound around the island of ...'? Wait, better,
how about ...(glug, glug....)
- from the wandering mind of rene
p.s. you can use that if you like it. I usually very ergonometric and
sign just my first name.
p.p.s. Wait, how about 'from the straitjacket of ...' (is that how
that's spelled?) or 'the ever-tightening straitjacket of ...' or, wait
a minute, how about 'from the ever-tightening titanium-steel
straitjacket of ...', no, what about ...
** I hope you're feeling better now that you've gotten that out of
your system (and onto mine).
** Honorable Mention for Most Suggestions **
From: Bill Thibault <tebo@gatech>
How about "From the slashed wrists of...."
or "From the clenched fist of..."
or "from the fried fish of..."
or "From the finely apponted office of...."
or "From the fiendishly frothing face of...."
or "From Spafford with love"
or "From the flotsam laden net of...."
or "From the sumptuous sex palace of...."
or "From the guilty conscience of...."
or "From the dirty drawers of...."
or "From the silk stockings held up with sexy black garter belts of...."
or "From the ever boggled mind of..."
you get the idea. Send prizes to the Dekalb Addiction Center.
** What is mildly disturbing about this set of contributions is that
Bill shares an office with me....
** Honorable mention for duplicated suggestion (tie) **
From: fred@cvl
How about: ``The Padded Soapbox . . .''?
** and **
From: myers@uwvax
How about "The padded soapbox..."
** Suggestions I didn't understand **
From: tekmdp!dadla-b!hutch@teklabs
In haste, not waste, Spaf (Fon)
Watch for falling Rocs
More drivel from that master of the trivial, Spaf.
***********
From: hu@sdcsvax.UUCP@dcdwest
How about "From the deathbed of Gene Spafford..."?
** Various other suggestions not covered by the above **
From: Pucc-H.ab3@pur-ee
"From the perpetual underground wienie-roast of..."
Darth Wombat
***********
From: mannie@gmha
Based on Dr. McKendry's response...How 'bout ...
"From the Slapped Wrists of"
***********
From: SJOBRG.ANDY@MIT-OZ
from the dancing fingers of Gene Spafford
From: Atlanta, GA it's Geeeene SPAFFORD! (applause)
***********
From: <decwrl!qubix!lab>
1. Why didn't you warn me you were heading back to Vega? Or is Mars
*that* far out of the way (factor of < 10E-6 :-)? My only conclusion is
that someone else noticed that your books were due, so you had to leave
on short notice. Generally I'm careful about letting Earthers handle
such treasures.
2. Wouldn't it be easier to operate from an orbital laboratory? Since
I'm in the reserves, I have to spend a weekend each month and two weeks
each year in the Martian Earth-Orbit Patrol (the acronym is better in
Martian). Then you could call it "the orbiting laboratory of Gene
Spafford." If you're in engineering and want to get away from it all, it
might be "the antimatter chamber of Gene Spafford" or "the engineering
nacelle of Gene Spafford."
***********
From: mat@hou5d
How about ``The Twilight Zone of G.S.''?
Mark Terribile
Duke of deNet
***********
From: laura@utcsstat
How about "from the twisted imagination of:"
laura creighton
***********
From: howard@metheus
How about "From the spiffy genes of ..."?
Howard A. Landman
***********
From: dave@uw-beaver.UUCP@fluke
I'm mailing this to you because it is SO bad that I wouldn't dare put it
on the net. My entry is:
The Mutant Gene
I know this isn't very good but I would really like to win ( It would
mean alot to mom ).
Dave Van Ess
***********
From: stephen@uw-beaver.UUCP@alberta
If you like flaming:
From the butane tanker of ...
Stephen Samuel
***********
From: jeff1@garfield
How about "From the tiny brain of Gene Spafford"? Or, you
could insert "demented" or replace "tiny" with it.
Jeff Sparkes
***********
From: 3351dkq@houxo
How about "From the Scion of the Southland" ?
or "Hey, we're in Atlanta" ?
Keith Quarles
***********
From skip@gatech Mon Oct 17 15:19:01 1983
How about "From the Cloud of ..."
***********
From: sasw@BNL
How about "The signature line of Gene Spafford"? Or, if you are only
allowed to send out small flames and not very many, "the matchbox of
Gene Spafford"? Please mail my prize to me, c/o L.A.P.D., Waffen SS
Department, L.A. CA; they also shoot first and arrest later.
***********
From: Andrew Scott Beals <Sjobrg.Bandy%MIT-OZ@mit-mc>
from Gene Spafford, king of /dev/null
or
from the book by Gene Spafford, Directed by Gene Spafford, Gene Spafford, acting
***********
From: shannon@rand-unix
planet of.....
Thanks again to everybody who contributed. As always, this is:
--
Off the Wall of Gene Spafford
School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332
CSNet: Spaf @ GATech ARPA: Spaf.GATech @ CSNet-Relay
uucp: ...!{akgua,allegra,rlgvax,sb1,unmvax,ut-ngp,ut-sally}!gatech!spaf