munson@squirt.DEC (08/07/85)
I really can't argue in an educated manner about the life, autonomy, rights,
etc. of a fetus (preborn baby???!), as no-one except a Higher Power really
KNOWS anything about that. Still, I would like to share my own experience,
in the name of understanding.
When I was 20, I got pregnant despite the fact that I was on the pill.
The fellow I was seeing (and 'sleeping with') was a lovely fellow, but not
the get-married, and set-up-house type. I had already moved across the
country and started back to school when I found I was pregnant. I decided
to have an abortion. It was one of the hardest, saddest, and most upsetting
decisions I've ever had to make, but it was the right one. (As an aside to
those who harass people outside clinics: I had done quite a bit to inform
myself, including looking through medical texts and Nilsson's Behold Man
book. I also got information about alternatives from Planned Parenthood.)
I was about 8 weeks pregnant when I had the abortion.
Since then, I have finished a degree in Computer Systems, so I can support
myself. I have also met, and married, one of the nicest men I've ever known.
Last spring, I got pregnant again. We had not planned it, but both of us
were very excited at the prospect of a baby. I had a miscarriage at about
8 weeks. (I don't believe in a Vengeful God, and so I don't think it was
retribution for the abortion. A god that would do that would be much less
thoughtful of pre-born children than I am.)
The miscarriage I had gave me an opportunity to see just what an 8 week
fetus looks like, and a cross between chicken liver and chicken gizzards is
about as good a description as I could give, approximately 2 Tablespoons
thereof.
My feelings after the miscarriage were much the same as after the abortion;
I grieved. I grieved for the loss of such potential. I grieved for my own
lack of family. I also experienced quite a bit of purely physical pain.
But, I am an optimistically rational (if this isn't an oxymoron) person; I
believe that things go as they must go, and that there is some sort of order
in the cosmos.
The fellow with whom I got pregnant the first time, had, in my opinion, few
rights in the matter. It is my body, and having made no commitment to him,
his wants and desires were secondary to mine.
If I had decided to have the baby, then he would have had some rights. He
could have decided to help fund the baby, and to take part in it's life, or
he could have decided to exit the scene. His rights did not include making
me have have an abortion if I did not want one.
Similarly, my desire not to have a baby would (if this were the case) preclude
my mate's desire to have a baby. His desire not to have a baby (ditto) would
preclude my desire to have a baby. Since we have married, we have what might
be termed part interest in each other's body. (Pun intended.) Both of us feel
that we have the same responsibility regarding birth control. We want to have
children, something we specified in our marriage contract, and if we (I can't
do it by myself!) get pregnant despite birth control measures, then we will
assume that it's one of those things which will be as they must be.
Judging by last spring, we will also be delighted.
Questions and relevant remarks are welcome. Attacks, accusations, and flames
should be delivered to:
British Airways
etc.
As always,
Joanne E. Munsonrlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) (08/08/85)
Thank you, Joanne. And no, optimistically rational is not an oxymoron, although at times it may seem that way in light of how most of the world seems to think. -- "iY AHORA, INFORMACION INTERESANTE ACERCA DE... LA LLAMA!" Rich Rosen ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr