plunkett@rlgvax.UUCP (Scott Plunkett) (01/16/84)
I infer the following Policy Positions to the following candidates without further comment. Will there be a Democrat left on the net after this? Sen. John Glenn: Use of Wombats to reduce deficit; no strategic value. Sen. Alan Cranston: Mashed Wombat brain a delicacy. Someone ought to tell him people NEVER eat Wombat brain. Sen. Ernest Hollings: "The only thing we have to fear is Wombatology itself." Fudges when professing a liking to Wombats, yet a hatred of the study of Wombats. George McGovern: Awaiting results of psychiatric tests on 3 Wombats a McGovern aide captured in New South Wales before committing himself. Sen. Gary Hart: "What's a Wombat?" What a loser. Walter Mondale: Keeps 3 dozen Wombats caged in his suburban Washington home. Unspecified practices wrought. Would allow tax deductions for Wombat keepers. Rev. Jesse Jackson: All God's creatures are to be to be dominated by Man. Except Wombats. (