perelgut@utcsrgv.UUCP (Stephen Perelgut) (01/16/84)
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I have it on poor authority that the Canadian government's Dept. of
Socialist Satanist Warmongering Capitalists (DoSSWaC) is currently
training wombats to disrupt vital communications by psychically
distorting electronic pathways into grinning satanistic faces. The
current list of problems include:
- The wombats are devilishly hard to catch (not surprising for
creatures of Satan, eh?)
- The wombats in charge are confused and trying to disrupt
Canadian intelligence. This is driving them crazy since it is
so hard to find.
- The socialists in DoSSWaC are constantly warring with the Capitalists
and the wombats get all upset.
---
Down With Wombats
--
Stephen Perelgut Computer Systems Research Group University of Toronto
Usenet: {linus, ihnp4, allegra, decvax, floyd}!utcsrgv!perelgutlgondor@utcsrgv.UUCP (Les Gondor) (01/16/84)
. <-- to prevent malicious psychic wombats from disrupting this message
Has anyone else noticed that the strange truncation of Usenet messages
appeared only a very few weeks before the messages regarding the diabolical
wombat menace? I claim that this is not a coincidental phenomenon! Those
little buggers got careless and somehow tipped off the guardians of Usenet
to their machinations.
Little do they ken the wrath of an irate net. Just think of all the
increased traffic in net.misc with which they have had to try and cope.
No longer are they able to detect message bodies simply by looking for
leading blanks. We've shown those antipodal monsters that we can't be
pushed around!
Now here's my plan: everyone start your next net submission (me submit to
anything? Never!) with an exclamation point! They'll think that the rest
of the message is just some bizarre site name (gloat, gloat)! Your messages
will then be safe from their psychic psabotage.
From the idle port of:
Les Gondor, U of Toronto CSRG
{cornell,watmath,ihnp4,floyd,allegra,ubc-vision,uw-beaver}!utcsrgv!lgondor
{cwruecmp,duke,linus,decvax,research}!utzoo!utcsrgv!lgondormmt@dciem.UUCP (Martin Taylor) (01/17/84)
Has it not occured to the net that the division of opinion on
wombats is due to the fact that two distinct species are being
confused? The wombbhat of Rhajasthan is a gentle creature
much beloved of pregnant women, who feel that its spirit will
enliven the child, whereas the Wham-Bat of North Carolina is
probably the one toward which so much virulence has been displayed.
I cannot imagine the wombbhat indulging in the sort of tunnelling
activities that have been so vividly described. The Wham-Bat, on
the other hand, could very quickly pulverize the rock in its path.
The vagaries of English spelling, which have caused so much
anguish on the net, have led the two species to converge in print,
if not in behaviour. Neither species is especially well endowed
with psychic power, and claims to the contrary must be regarded
as probably paranoid.
--
Martin Taylor
{allegra,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,floyd,ubc-vision}!utzoo!dciem!mmtrjk@mgweed.UUCP (01/17/84)
By gosh, that's right! Why at this very moment as we type, trained
wombats are gnawing at the internals of my brand new multi-mod #5ESS
office out here in the bowels of Sugar Grove, Il.! Each time their
little phisio-psychotic synapses change state I get a { on my screen!
Yaaaahhhhhhhhh.... { { { { { { { {{{ {{{ { {{{{ {{{{ {{{{{ {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{esj@ihuxl.UUCP (Natty Dread I) (01/18/84)
The wombats ate the trademark! THE WOMBATS ATE THE TRADEMARK! THE {{{{{{{{{
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
"Filthy English Kunigguts!"