[net.religion.jewish] Purim Torah ???

yechiel@aecom.UUCP (Yechiel Corn) (03/16/84)

In going through my old files, I came across this Purim-worthy
manual page developed a couple of years ago. It will be especially
appreciated by all the YU & Stern College alumni out there (and I have
seen a number of them contributing to net.religion.jewish)

Enjoy and Chag Purim Sameach!!

				Yechiel Corn

============================================================================
Here is the manual to a new and prosperous program developed
solely on purim or when we were stoned, stewed, or otherwise
influenced (i.e., mind altering substances). Here is the manual
page...


^D(1)                    Yom revii 15 Adar 5742                    ^D(1)


NAME
	^D (<control D>)

SYNOPSIS
	^D  [options] [files] [filesystems] [directories]
		[uid wanted] [name of current root user]
		[stern girls to be notified] ...

DESCRIPTION

	^D is a non interactive program to be used only in background
mode. It is used to terminate or creat ghost shells, unkillable processes,
forkathons, fileathons, exceedsathons, and telethons (for Jerry's kids).

	It may be used only when there is a fullsave in action or
when there is an incremental save that is bombing.

	As a safety feature a new logger  appears  on the terminal
when ^D is invoked. The program will not slow down the system since
it only uses up next week's cpu time.

	The options may be specified in any order or even on different
lines. The meaning of the options are as follows:

	^a  -   takes a string of the form YYMMDD. ^D will then
		postpone its usage of the cpu till that date + 7
		days unless its February which in case it will
		use it 28 days in advance.

	^b  -   balance books. Randomizes the exceeds and charges
		data bases. The seed for the rand() is the time()
		x-ored with the first 20 locations after the mem
		sys error trap vector divided by the number of users
		and masked with the number of unused uid's.

	^c  -   crash. As opposed to the maint command shutdown(1m)
		this command brings the system down in an inorderly
		fashion. It first sends a kill -21 to the scheduler
		which means sit on it and rotate to the left 7 bits.
		It then overwrites the superblock with sunday's comics,
		and proceeds to dump all of core backwards and puts
		it in /etc/utmp. It then takes the twelfth 400 bytes
		of that dump and overwrites the boot block.

	^d  -   dumps and cleans all of core and puts it in
		operator's out basket.

	^e  -   enter the self destruct sequence. The program
		will prompt you for the destruct code. Please
		unfasten your seatbelts.  The no smoking sign
		will go on and the stewardess will inform you
		to walk to the rear of the disk drives.

	^f  -   creat new born computers. A message of the
		form "F@#$" will be typed. This portion
		of the program is not supported.

	^s  -   swap user id's with your neighbor's wife.

DIAGNOSTICS
	AECOM UNIX
	User:

	or
		WOW!! for the ^s and ^f options.

CAVE MAN
	This program was developed on IGOR - the IBM 1130 BCE.

PAC MAN
	GRUPPA GRUPPA

BUGS
	This program has been known to work.

REVISION LEVEL  0.2
	This manual describes versions 2.2 and above.

RESTRICTIONS
	Drivers license required.

AUTHORS
	Robert Berlinger   (naftoli)
	Elliott Adler      (eadler) currently exceeded so... (who)
	Larry Freund       (freund)
	Charlie Straus     (jarnagin), (schertz), (root?)

PUBLISHER
	Yechiel Corn       (corn), (regis), (root), (hotline), etc.



				-32767-