laura@utcsstat.UUCP (Laura Creighton) (01/11/84)
Poor Tim. he has obviously not seen the light about wombats. Note that I am being perfectly open-minded about this and will only paraphrase and quote Tim out of context to make him look like a fool. Tim's "spiffy new indentation style" sucks dead worms through a straw. Besides, he submitted something to some technical group like net.lang.c where he used a return statement AND USED SUPERFLUOUS BRACKETS! AND EXTRA WHITESPACE! And if you can't tell how this has any conceivable relevance to his dislike of wombats then you obviously don't love your wombats enough and that is all that can be said. This, of course, is one of the great advantages to loving wombats -- if you love them enough you will never have to worry about minor things such as your arguments having logical inconsistancies that Hannibal could drive the elephants through. Or ending sentences with prepositions. Or incomplete sentences. But back to Tim. Oh, come on now. A sugggstive way to begin, is that not? The burrowing may start in Adelaide, but where does it end? In Hell, no place else! Yes, that's right, wombats are agents of Satan. Note that Tim has used a sentence which contains the capital letter 'I' followed by a sentence which contains the phrase 'agent of Satan' (well, actually, it's 'agents', but don't let a little thing like accuracy get in your way). I trust that none of you would be so deluded as to think that I am reading anything into this when I state that I have used this to reveal Tim's true colours because I have an axe to grind. All of this protesting about Satan -- methink the man doth protest too much! As they said in "Life of Brian" -- "Only the true Messiah denies his Messiahood". (and if you notice that Tim hasn't said anything about Messiahs or denied anything I will beam you with my holy gourd.) However, I have even more proof that Tim is the real Satanist here. First an empirical proof (well, actually it's not but the word sounds nice). Tim accuses me of typographical errors! Fool! Does he deny that i have been given the curse of typographical errors to demonstrate the pure, unsullied nature of wombats! You don't catch them making typographical errors, now, do you!! What more proof do you need? However, for those that still doubt, I have a scientific proof that Tim is a Satanist. I took his article and carefully edited out those lines which were quotes of what I had said previously. (I didn't want to get contaminated by the Holy Experiment, after all.) Then I ran a sed script on them, and looked for the letters "S", "a", "t", and "n". Do you know what I found? 3 capital "A"s, 3 capital "N"s, 3 capital "S"s, 3 capital "T"s, (very suspicious, that...) 83 "a"s, 74 "n"s, 82 "s"s, and 122 "t"s! Have you any idea how many times you can spell Satan with these letters! (right -- as many times as you can spell Santa with these letters.) There is still hope for you Tim, though. Even Satanists can learn how to love wombats and be forgiven. laura creighton (wombat lover) utzoo!utcsstat!laura
spoo@utcsrgv.UUCP (Suk Lee) (01/11/84)
That was weird.
dann@wxlvax.UUCP (Dan Neiman) (01/11/84)
An apropos quotation loosely ripped off from the Song of Marsupial
Fandom, author forgotten:
Never bother a wombat, cause then he'll fight back,
And no one can live through a wombat attack,
Oh can you imagine a sorrier scene,
Then bugging a wombat until he turns mean?
Don't say you weren't warned...
dannamigo2@ihuxq.UUCP (John Hobson) (01/11/84)
Right on, Laura!!!!!!!!!!?!!! Get those dirty satanist wombat haters in North Carolina! You have opened my eyes to the true nature of unc!tim, and his evil schemes to rid the world of a cute, cuddly, innoffensive creature. Indeed, I now see that what unc!tim is really after is to rid the world of all animals and humans. He is just starting with wombats, since wombats cannot fight back (and he has been succeeding--I'll bet that there are less than a dozen live wombats in either North or South Carolina); if he manages to get rid of the wombats, I expect that we will see mushroom clouds over Toronto and the Red Hordes overpowering Naperville. PER OMNIA SAECULA VOMBATIDAE John Hobson AT&T Bell Labs Naperville, IL (312) 979-7293 ihnp4!ihuxq!amigo2
okie@ihuxs.UUCP (B.K. Cobb) (01/12/84)
I've been carefully neutral (as opposed to carelessly neutral?) on this wombat issue. But watching the interplay -- nay, the battle -- between Laura and Tim has pierced me to the heart. I find I must take a stand. I have to decide. To wombat or not to wombat, that is the issue. And not only that, but it's time I put forth some effort for the side to which I now pledge my allegiance... WOMBAT OMNIA VINCET (or somethin' like that) !!!!! I've chosen the mark of the wombat (and will wear it proudly, in secret) after careful consideration of the issues. What finally swung me over to the wombat camp was the well-thought-out, logical, tremendously useless (but cute) set of arguments delivered by Laura. Tim's arguments had merit, I will admit (reluctantly, at gunpoint, under great duress), but not enough. I refuse to believe that wombats are satanists. Commies, maybe. But "the burden of proof rests with you" (sound familiar, Tim?). So where do we go from here? Let's get some wombats on Today, Good Morning America, and the CBS Morning News. Let's blitz the media! Let's get 'em on Donahue, Hour Magazine, and PM Magazine. Heck, why stop there? How about a couple as guest stars on "The Love Boat"? Think of the possibilities inherent in the combination of two wombats, a Gopher, and all those asses! And what about a guest shot on "The A-Team?" And maybe a new series -- "Wombatman!" And... (taken off, gibbering, down the hall, wondering what got me started, B.K. Cobb AT&T Bell Laboratories, Naperville, IL ihnp4!ihuxs!okie no listing in the real world)
trb@masscomp.UUCP (Andy Tannenbaum) (01/12/84)
Aren't wombats those evil high school kids who break into our government's highly important computers and sell coveted microchips to the Russians? I don't like wombats. They're not American. Are they? Oh. no. Wombats. They're flying mammalian write only memories. Uteri with leathery wings? I pity the fool who posts netnews about wombats. Pity the fool. Andy Tannenbaum Masscomp Inc Westford MA (617) 692-6200 x274 (Mr. T) sorry, I'm in a silly mood.
rjk@mgweed.UUCP (01/12/84)
This is folly. All of you listen to yourselves. Surely, you can see the error in your ways; and you too, Laura. Wearing the mark of the wombat? Give me a break. Count the number of letters: 6. You're going to wear that? That's one third of *the* mark. Can you justify calling a wombat a land or sea creature? If they're so innocent and lovable, how the hell do they get logins? How to they post? How do they type? With their teeth? Do you expect us to believe they have teeth? That's a beaver, damn it, not a wombat. And I surely wouldn't eat a wombat, especially after hearing tales of burrowing (Laura says borrowing) but you can't ignore the old adage: "Neither a burrower nor a lander be." And how do they land? On all fours, like cats and I hate cats. I have special attachments for my garbage disposal and Osterizer to keep the cat hair from clogging. Hey, What's a Wombat's hair like? Should I get another attachment or two?
aeq@pucc-h (Sargent) (01/12/84)
As everyone knows, a WOMbat is a device for making quick repairs to Write-Only Memory.... -- Jeff Sargent/...pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
spaf@gatech.UUCP (01/12/84)
Personally, I happen to like wombats.
Broiled, with a bit of butter and garlic.
Whatever started this whole discussion? I think I missed the
original message during my return to Vega over the holidays.
--
Off the Wall of Gene Spafford
The Clouds Project, School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332
CSNet: Spaf @ GATech ARPA: Spaf.GATech @ CSNet-Relay
uucp: ...!{akgua,allegra,rlgvax,sb1,unmvax,ulysses,ut-sally}!gatech!spafkenv@dartvax.UUCP (Ken Varnum) (01/12/84)
Does anyone have any idea if Doonesbury has been re-released? Troudeau's sabatical was supposed to be up on January 1. Does anyone know if it was indeed re-relased?? Ken Varnum (...!decvax!dartvax!kenv)
jas2@ihuxi.UUCP (Jack Scheirer) (01/12/84)
I have decided to add fuel to the fire and get involved in this
most important, far-reaching, and controversial discussion.
In my travels to the western portions of this country, (this being the
good ol' U S of A), I saw about as many wombats as I did the last
time I passed through the Carolinas. Since there is no Tim out west
to keep the wombat population down, I conjecture that underground
nuclear tests must have been responsible. This is supported by the
fact that the wombats would have been underground, near the blasts,
getting nicely fried (baked?) into wombat burgers. Problem:
The creature's natural heat resistance (assumed from their life
in the Lower Regions) would have allowed many a wombat to have
survived these blasts at a sufficient distance. This will mean
that not all of the little beasties will have been killed.
Therefore they must still be there, hiding underground.
(Does this mean the is a Wombat Underground?!?!?)
The thing I fear is the rise of a new wombat species,
Wombatus Nucleous, Mutant Menaces from the Depths.
The probable masters of the Wombat Underground, they
control all movements of wombat resources in the area.
(They may even be so powerful as to control every wombat's
movement, making them a strong force if ever unleased.)
What is our fate, to share(?) this planet with such a
menace? Can no one give me reassurance?? Can no one stop them??
Is this to be taken as a pro-nuclear bombs statement??
Tune in next week to this same net.work, same net.group
for the answers!
Jack Scheirer
AT&T-T, Naperville, IL
ihnp4!ihuxi!jas2jdb@qubix.UUCP (Jeff Bulf) (01/12/84)
*
*
All of this commitment over wombats has finally convinced me. I went down to
my sport shop for a wombat, and made the mistake of admitting that I didnt know
how to use the wombat correctly because I have never played womball before. You
wouldn't believe how those elitist commies treated me from that point on.
:->
[Forbearance dear friends, it has been a long week here in the wombelfry.]
--
Dr Memory
...{decvax,ucbvax,ihnp4}!decwrl!qubix!jdbmo@seismo.UUCP (Mike O'Dell) (01/13/84)
In some parts of the world (I won't say where), it is commonly known that the Wombat is the official mascot of the DECUS Datatrieve User's Group. The Datatrieve newsletter is named "The Wombat Examiner." This is no joke. -Mike
johnc@dartvax.UUCP (John Cabell) (01/13/84)
I [may/probably] have this wrong, but aren't wombats Write Only Memory Bits Around Tennesee Send comments to /dev/null. --johnc -- Unix path: ...!decvax!dartvax!johnc Universal id: 50 USnail: 4 Ridge rd., Hanover, NH 037550248
dave@utcsrgv.UUCP (Dave Sherman) (01/13/84)
Come now. A little basic Gematria reveals the numerical value of wombat
(a=1,b=2,etc.) is 74. Now 74 is two times a prime number. Two wombats
(the two on the net) in their prime. Clearly, therefore, wombats belong
on the net.
Please move this discussion to "general". That way, at least,
no-one's ramblings will reach anyone outside their machine.
Magnifibeast
--
{allegra,cornell,decvax,ihnp4,linus,utzoo}!utcsrgv!daventt@dciem.UUCP (Mark Brader) (01/13/84)
I have seen the wombat, and behold, it is cute. (Sort of like a dog without ears.) redarB kraM, at the time.
wbpesch@ihuxp.UUCP (Walt Pesch) (01/14/84)
What does eating Wombats have to do with eating Beaver? I find it
discusting to eat a small animal that burrows in the ground. However,
Beaver is a meal that I eat every chance that I get.
_ _
( \/ )
Dam, I \ / Beaver
\/
Walt Pesch
AT&T Western Electric AT&T Technologies
ihnp4!ihuxp!wbpeschchuq@cae780.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach) (01/14/84)
As everyone knows, a WOMbat is a device for making quick repairs to
Write-Only Memory....
-- Jeff Sargent/...pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
NO! A WOMbat is used to get information back out of Write Only Memory!!!
--
-- Diogenes looked in and laughed--
From the dungeons of the wombat Chuqui the Plaid
Note the new address: {fortune,menlo70}!nsc!chuqui
~And as I lived my role I swore I'd sell my soul for one love
who would stand by me and give me back the gift of laughter~
- Winslow Leechmoriarty@uw-june (Jeff Meyer) (01/14/84)
I thought you would all be interested to know that all this talk about
wombats has reached the ever-vigilant attention of Hollywood promoters, and
that a slew of wombat-related horror films will be coming your way this
summer. Jamie Lee Curtis has been signed to star in "Amittyville IV: House
of Satanistic Communistic Wombats" (she will be portraying Laura Creighton),
and that Stephen King's latest novel, "Willy the Wombat", is being rushed
into pre-production. Also, several church groups are urging the creation of
grade-school training films to combat the wombat menace -- the test film,
previewed for the Joint Chiefs of Staff and an "Entertainment Tonight"
correspondent, shows how children can avoid wombat-incurred fallout by
crawling underneath their desks.
Also, the Captain & Tenille are getting back together for a new 45
recording, "Wombat Love". Just thought you'd like to know.
Trivia Is My Business
-jwm-
{...decvax!}tektronix!uw-beaver!uw-june!moriartyrh@mit-eddie.UUCP (01/14/84)
Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site houxm.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site mit-eddie.UUCP Message-ID: <1181@mit-eddie.UUCP> Date: Sat, 14-Jan-84 03:08:22 EST Date-Received: Sat, 14-Jan-84 03:48:47 EST 87@gatech.UUCP> Organization: MIT, Cambridge, MA Lines: 10 Spaf, you like wombats broiled in butter with garlic????!!! I've never of heard anything so uncivilized in my life! It's a well-known fact that polite society eats wombats BOILED, not broiled. Furthermore, the correct spice is rubbed sage, with perhaps a touch of nutmeg (use the whole can if you want to hallucinate). I'll bet you don't even fry the eyeballs separately.... -- Randwulf (Randy Haskins); Path= genrad!mit-eddie!rh
rh@mit-eddie.UUCP (Randy Haskins) (01/14/84)
Anyone want to explain N reasons why a wombat is better than a sheep?? -- Randwulf (Randy Haskins); Path= genrad!mit-eddie!rh
tmh@ihldt.UUCP (Tom Harris) (01/16/84)
It is a little know fact that it was actually the Wombat menace we were fighting in the pacific during WWII, not the Japanese (who were just pawns of the Wombats after a giant Wombat named Norman waded through Tokyo (bet ya didn't know all the Godzilla movies used newsreel footage with Godzilla superimposed over Norman)). The bombs dropped on Pearl Harbor (aka Pearl Baily Pearl Buck and Pearl Oyster) were not in fact bombs at all but highly trained Wombat commandos. It was in fact a Wombat, throwing itself on the tip of a fourteen inch shell, that blew up the Arizona and it was six Wombats with blow torches that caused the Oklahoma to capsize. It is also little known that it was a Wombat assassin that caused President Roosevelt to be confined to a wheelchair. The dread Japanese Long Lance torpedo was so effective, because of its wombat guidance system (the early U.S. attempts to use gophers in the same roll failed since the gopher like any sensitive creature turns around and runs when confronted with an enemy warship bristling with guns). All this information and more can be found in War of the Wombats by Ramos H. Sharti (Merde Press 1982). I like mine fried in Vegimite, Tom Harris P.S. Rumors that Hitler may in fact have been a Wombat in disguise are being investigated (Himmler, Bormann and Goebbels were almost certainly wombats and Goering was probably two).
kaufman@uiuccsb.UUCP (01/18/84)
#R:seismo:-51800:uiuccsb:9900034:000:79 uiuccsb!kaufman Jan 17 15:52:00 1984 Is it true ABC will be showing a pilot for Wombattlestar Galactica this April?
jas2@ihuxi.UUCP (Jack Scheirer) (01/18/84)
What's WRONG with aardvarks??? (Except maybe when their
fur is wet)
Jack Scheirer
..ihnp4!ihuxi!jas2
AT&T-T, Lisle, ILwombat@uicsl.UUCP (01/19/84)
#R:seismo:-51800:uicsl:7500038:000:512 uicsl!wombat Jan 18 15:55:00 1984 ***** uicsl:net.misc / seismo!mo / 5:30 am Jan 13, 1984 In some parts of the world (I won't say where), it is commonly known that the Wombat is the official mascot of the DECUS Datatrieve User's Group. The Datatrieve newsletter is named "The Wombat Examiner." This is no joke. -Mike ---------- As a matter of fact, I have a t-shirt that says "WOMBAT" and my husband has one that says "WOMBAT EXAMINER." Ask him for N reasons why wombats are better than sheep. Wombat ihnp4!uiucdcs!uicsl!wombat
presley@mhuxj.UUCP (Joe Presley) (01/20/84)
If you kill a wombat, is that a hysterectomy? -- Joe Presley (mhuxj!presley, ihnp4!j.presley)
lmaher@uokvax.UUCP (01/23/84)
#R:seismo:-51800:uokvax:3800008:000:780 uokvax!lmaher Jan 21 16:18:00 1984 (posting from a friend's account while uok is down) /***** uokvax:net.misc / dartvax!kenv / 6:32 pm Jan 13, 1984 */ Does anyone have any idea if Doonesbury has been re-released? Troudeau's sabatical was supposed to be up on January 1. Does anyone know if it was indeed re-relased?? Ken Varnum (...!decvax!dartvax!kenv) /* ---------- */ Indeed, Doonesbury will return in September, according to a news report I have seen. It will pick up right after the Doonesbury play, which dealt with graduation at Walden Puddle. Mike has a degree in Business Administration, and Zonker is going into real estate with his Uncle Duke. B.D. was traded by the Cowboys to the Seattle Seahawks for two drafts and a bus. Heeee-wack!!! Carl ..!uokvax!uok!crigney ..!duke!uok!crigney