dsg@mhuxi.UUCP (GREEN) (06/27/84)
I am submitting this for Ken Wolman: [] Fellow Jews of all persuasions, these are grim times for us all. It's hard to trust anyone these days. Anyone! No, I'm not talking about Jackson or Farrakhan. They are the obvious dangers. I'm talking about all of us preserving our Sectic Purity against defilement by Wrong Guys. Just think about some of these questions: 1) How do you know the new guy at the 6:45 a.m. minyan isn't visiting from the Conservative joint over in the next town? Who else wears an Izod tallis, and tefillin with a Ralph Lauren logo instead of a shin? 2) How do you know the new guy at Temple B'nai Shekalim isn't one of those mishugayim from Lubavitch? After all, why else the black silk belt when he's already holding up his pants with a rope? The problem is real, and it's not getting easier to solve, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a surefire test to determine who is invading your sanctuary. It's all contained in that very familiar article of clothing, the yarmulka, aka skullcap, aka kippah. The test is as follows: -- The Orthodox always wear them. Yipes! Here come the Frummies!!! -- Conservatives carry them for emergencies, but go hatless in the street, so you can always spot one BEFORE he screws up your shul by SINGING [mamenyu!] the Shemoneh Esreh. -- Reform never wear them. It's disrespectful. -- Reconstructionists will spend an evening discoursing about the Mesopotamian and Assyrian parallel mythologies surrounding head-coverings, and then will wear cowboy hats . Respectfully and ironically submitted by: Kenneth T. Wolman whuxe!ktw
martillo@ihuxt.UUCP (Yehoyaqim Martillo) (06/27/84)
Sefardim consider wearing headcoverings obligatory only when praying or
saying a blessing. At other times wearing a head covering is merely
commendable.
When we wear headcoverings, the headcovering really covers like a turban
or sheshiya or a tarbush. The submicroscopic headgear which Ashkenazim
wear is really a kumta' and should be worn under a turban.
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Yehoyaqim Shemtob Martillo
(An Equal Opportunity Offender)