compusci@aecom.UUCP (Yitz Twersky) (01/01/85)
An ancient and hallowed tale goes back to about 100 b.c.e., when Jerusalem was held captive by the mighty Roman Empire: Eleazer Bokar appeared at the gates of Heaven and knocked for admittance. The great doors slowly swung open and the patriarch Abraham stepped out, blowing his golden trumpet. When he finished the welcoming concerto, he addressed Eleazer: "Greetings, blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh. G-D awaits you." Eleazer, naturally enough, was overawed by the splendor of this welcome, but he quickly gathered his wits. "Father Abraham," he said boldly, "I am ready to meet our G-D." Eleazer stepped forward to enter the celestial portals, but patriarch Abraham halted him with an imperious, upflung palm. "Wait, my brother! Before you enter G-D's kingdom, you must be worthy of the honor." "How can I prove my worthiness?" "You must show that, at least once in your mortal life, you displayed outstanding courage. Can you recall one unquestionably brave deed?" Eleazer's face brightened. "Yes, I can. I remember once I went to the Roman Consul's palace and I met him face to face. He was surrounded by dozens of legionnaires, all of them armed to the teeth, but I simply ignored them. I told him that he was a camel's behind, a vulture feeding on the bones of Jerusalem's oppressed people and a persecutor of Jews.Then I spat in his face." Abraham was immensely impressed. "I must agree, that was an extremely brave thing to do-considering all the armed guards who were present, and knowing of the Roman Consul's hatred for the Jews. Yes, my brother, you certainly have earned admittance into Paradise, but tell me, when did all this happen?" "Oh", replied Eleazer casually, "about three or four minutes ago."