wkp@lanl.ARPA (07/18/85)
All this orthopractic stuff is really getting boring! Let's talk about something else. How about any one of the following topics? 1. Why do goyim have such big noses? 2. Why don't Reform Jewish girls ever date Jewish guys? 3. Was Mr. Spock Jewish? Was his first name Moishe? 4. Why aren't there any lox and bagels in New Mexico? 5. Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls have orgasms? -- bill peter ihnp4!lanl!wkp "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." --Oscar Wilde
slerner@sesame.UUCP (Simcha-Yitzchak Lerner) (07/23/85)
> > All this orthopractic stuff is really getting boring! Let's talk > about something else. How about any one of the following topics? > > 3. Was Mr. Spock Jewish? Was his first name Moishe? A: Vulcans don't have first names B: Of couse he was jewish, look at the vulcan salute (based on the blessing of the cohanim, which nimoy is.) -- Opinions expressed are public domain, and do not belong to Lotus Development Corp. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Simcha-Yitzchak Lerner {genrad|ihnp4|ima}!wjh12!talcott!sesame!slerner {cbosgd|harvard}!talcott!sesame!slerner slerner%sesame@harvard.ARPA
mis@mtunh.UUCP (Meyer Steinberg) (07/23/85)
>All this orthopractic stuff is really getting boring! Let's talk >about something else. How about any one of the following topics? > >1. Why do goyim have such big noses? > >2. Why don't Reform Jewish girls ever date Jewish guys? > >3. Was Mr. Spock Jewish? Was his first name Moishe? > >4. Why aren't there any lox and bagels in New Mexico? > >5. Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls have orgasms? >-- > >bill peter ihnp4!lanl!wkp > >"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." > --Oscar Wilde OKAY Lets start discussing some interesting questions... 1. Is Bill Peter Jewish? 2. Whata does he have against Orthodox Jews? 3. Does he feel guilty about his past? 4. Is Bill Peter Jesus? 5. Was Bill Peter jilted or stood up by a Jewish girl? Meyer Steinberg "The father, the son, the holy ghost, and bill peter"
dsg@hlwpb.UUCP (D.Green) (07/24/85)
> > >All this orthopractic stuff is really getting boring! Let's talk > >about something else. How about any one of the following topics? > >1. Why do goyim have such big noses? Because air is free. > >2. Why don't Reform Jewish girls ever date Jewish guys? "Reform Rabbis are so reformed they are ashamed they are Jewish" Lenny Bruce. > >3. Was Mr. Spock Jewish? Was his first name Moishe? Mr. Spock was a Kohanim; his first name was Irving. > >4. Why aren't there any lox and bagels in New Mexico? To try to get bill peter to move back to civilization. > >5. Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls have orgasms? Because they would have to drop their nail files. > OKAY Lets start discussing some interesting questions... > 1. Is Bill Peter Jewish? Are you? And why do you want to know? > 2. Whata does he have against Orthodox Jews? They haven't open up a good deli in New Mexico, you know what it is like to go without a good piece of corned beef for weeks on end? > 3. Does he feel guilty about his past? His name is Peter, not Portnoy! > 4. Is Bill Peter Jesus? Only if he lived at home till he was 30, went into his fathers business and his mother thought he was g-d. > 5. Was Bill Peter jilted or stood up by a Jewish girl? If he hasn't been, he is the Warren Beatty of New Mexico. :-) :-) :-) :-) David Seth Green path: {ihnp4}!mhuxi!dsg -or- hlwpb!dsg
stern@steinmetz.UUCP (Harold A. Stern) (07/31/85)
> >5. Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls have orgasms? > >-- > > > >bill peter ihnp4!lanl!wkp The real question here is "Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls who bill peter has experienced had orgasms?" Is this a request for suggestions on improvement of technique? :^} -harold A. Stern General Electric R&D Schencetady, NY 12301 <---- don't ask, I don't know where the hell it is, either stern@kbsvax.decnet@ge-crd
wkp@lanl.ARPA (08/02/85)
Thanks, everyone, for proving that only the most ridiculous postings ever attract net attention. Why is it that all my postings on the Rambam, halacha, hebrew poetry, and zionism hardly attracted any net attention at all (don't answer this)? Well, regarding the replies, I believe the n.r.j. annual comedy awards should go to: 1. David S. Green (really funny!) 2. Harold A. Stern (this was the liner I expected) 3. Meyer Steinberg (this was just silly) -- bill peter ihnp4!lanl!wkp "Peace is better than truth." --the Baal Shem Tov