[net.religion.jewish] Some important new topics!!

wkp@lanl.ARPA (07/18/85)

All this orthopractic stuff is really getting boring!  Let's talk
about something else.  How about any one of the following topics?

1.  Why do goyim have such big noses?

2.  Why don't Reform Jewish girls ever date Jewish guys?

3.  Was Mr. Spock Jewish?  Was his first name Moishe?      

4.  Why aren't there any lox and bagels in New Mexico?

5.  Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls have orgasms?
--

bill peter                                       ihnp4!lanl!wkp

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
                                           --Oscar Wilde

slerner@sesame.UUCP (Simcha-Yitzchak Lerner) (07/23/85)

> 
> All this orthopractic stuff is really getting boring!  Let's talk
> about something else.  How about any one of the following topics?
> 
> 3.  Was Mr. Spock Jewish?  Was his first name Moishe?      

A: Vulcans don't have first names
B: Of couse he was jewish, look at the vulcan salute (based on the
   blessing of the cohanim, which nimoy is.)


-- 
Opinions expressed are public domain, and do not belong to Lotus
Development Corp.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Simcha-Yitzchak Lerner

              {genrad|ihnp4|ima}!wjh12!talcott!sesame!slerner
                      {cbosgd|harvard}!talcott!sesame!slerner
                                slerner%sesame@harvard.ARPA 

mis@mtunh.UUCP (Meyer Steinberg) (07/23/85)

>All this orthopractic stuff is really getting boring!  Let's talk
>about something else.  How about any one of the following topics?
>
>1.  Why do goyim have such big noses?
>
>2.  Why don't Reform Jewish girls ever date Jewish guys?
>
>3.  Was Mr. Spock Jewish?  Was his first name Moishe?      
>
>4.  Why aren't there any lox and bagels in New Mexico?
>
>5.  Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls have orgasms?
>--
>
>bill peter                                       ihnp4!lanl!wkp
>
>"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
>                                           --Oscar Wilde

OKAY Lets start discussing some interesting questions...

1. Is Bill Peter Jewish?
2. Whata does he have against Orthodox Jews?
3. Does he feel guilty about his past?
4. Is Bill Peter Jesus?
5. Was Bill Peter jilted or stood up by a Jewish girl?

	Meyer Steinberg

"The father, the son, the holy ghost, and bill peter"

dsg@hlwpb.UUCP (D.Green) (07/24/85)

> 
> >All this orthopractic stuff is really getting boring!  Let's talk
> >about something else.  How about any one of the following topics?
> >1.  Why do goyim have such big noses?
	Because air is free.
> >2.  Why don't Reform Jewish girls ever date Jewish guys?
	"Reform Rabbis are so reformed they are ashamed they are Jewish" Lenny Bruce.
> >3.  Was Mr. Spock Jewish?  Was his first name Moishe?      
        Mr. Spock was a Kohanim; his first name was Irving.          
> >4.  Why aren't there any lox and bagels in New Mexico?
        To try to get bill peter to move back to civilization.
> >5.  Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls have orgasms?
       Because they would have to drop their nail files.
> OKAY Lets start discussing some interesting questions...
> 1. Is Bill Peter Jewish?
     Are you?  And why do you want to know?
> 2. Whata does he have against Orthodox Jews?
     They haven't open up a good deli in New Mexico, you know what it is like
     to go without a good piece of corned beef for weeks on end?
> 3. Does he feel guilty about his past?
     His name is Peter, not Portnoy!
> 4. Is Bill Peter Jesus?
     Only if he lived at home till he was 30, went into his fathers business and
     his mother thought he was g-d.
> 5. Was Bill Peter jilted or stood up by a Jewish girl?
     If he hasn't been, he is the Warren Beatty of New Mexico.

:-)  :-)   :-)   :-)  

David Seth Green
path: {ihnp4}!mhuxi!dsg   -or-   hlwpb!dsg   

stern@steinmetz.UUCP (Harold A. Stern) (07/31/85)

> >5.  Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls have orgasms?
> >--
> >
> >bill peter                                       ihnp4!lanl!wkp

  The real question here is "Why don't Orthodox Jewish girls who
bill peter has experienced had orgasms?" Is this a request for 
suggestions on improvement of technique? :^}

-harold A. Stern
General Electric R&D
Schencetady, NY 12301      <---- don't ask, I don't know where the hell it
				 is, either
stern@kbsvax.decnet@ge-crd

wkp@lanl.ARPA (08/02/85)

Thanks, everyone, for proving that only the most ridiculous postings ever 
attract net attention.

Why is it that all my postings on the Rambam, halacha, hebrew poetry, and
zionism hardly attracted any net attention at all (don't answer this)?

Well, regarding the replies, I believe the n.r.j. annual comedy awards should
go to:

1.  David S. Green  (really funny!)
2.  Harold A. Stern (this was the liner I expected)
3.  Meyer Steinberg (this was just silly)            
--

bill peter                                       ihnp4!lanl!wkp

"Peace is better than truth." --the Baal Shem Tov