[net.religion.jewish] Honeymooners

dsg@mhuxi.UUCP (David S. Green) (09/04/85)

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After a couple are married, they are not to go to work or otherwise seperate,
unless there is an urgent need, for the first week following the wedding.
This custom dates back to Jacob, who celebrated seven days with Leah
and then with Rachel.  The law considers the seven-day rejoicing to have been
formally instituted by Moses, who ordained that both celebration and 
commemoration be followed by a seven-day tapering-off period, during which
one might ponder and accept the intensity of the event.  The Sheva Berakhot,
or seven days of rejoicing are not to be working days.  The "community" is 
asked to participate in the event - to provide a minyan for Sheva Berakhot
every day for the newlyweds.

The Sheva Berakhot are recited for only the seven days, beginning from the
first meal after the chuppah.  They are to be recited both morning and
night, if the halakhic conditions are met, on every one of those days.
Since to do this there must be a minyan at each meal, honeymoons are not plannedby many traditional Jewish couples until after the seven days.  At the beginningthe new husband and wife must learn to accommodate each other in a family 
setting, not in some far-off place that has no relation the reality of
their future lives.

The barbaric popular emphasis on the glories of the honeymoon period
are so overrated and idealize that the newlyweds, busy adjusting to the
demands of everyday life, begin to feel disappointed, let down, and unsuited
for each other.  Judaism, says, wisely, that this is precisely the time
to stay home and to be surrounded with family and friends.  It is a time
for bride and groom to "rejoice one another" by being together simply and
wholesomely in the environment in which they lived as singles.

_____________________________

Adapted from "The Jewish Way In Love & Marriage" by Rabbi Maurice Lamm

The above views do not really reflect mine, totally, BUT they are from
a noted Orthodox Rabbi.

David S. Green   
AT&T BELL LABS  {ihnp4}!mhuxi!dsg