bem@houti.UUCP (03/19/84)
I generally like to get junk mail. After all it doesn't take that much
effort to open and read the stuff (besides, I'm the type of person that
faithfully reads cereal cartons at breakfast...). The best part of
junk mail is what you can do with the postage paid return envelope. If
it's big enough, you can stuff all the junk advertisement back inside.
Otherwise, a few rocks will fit inside nicely. If you have a pet,
there are other possibilities.
Let's support the USPS - they can use all the money they can
collect on the return postage.
Junk phone calls are fun too. I have a second line for data that I
know no one would ever be calling me on. (It's not listed under
anyone's name anywhere, from what I've been able to find). When I get
calls from the Red Bank Register asking me if I got the sample delivery
of the paper, I say "No, I never heard of the paper, but I like to read
and would love to subscribe (see above). " Obviously, they
are just sequentially going through the 10000- numbers in my exchange.
Imagine their surprise when I tell them that I don't understand why
they are trying to sell me a New Jersey paper when I live in western
North Dakota. ("Oh, you must have dialed the wrong area code - next
time dial 201, not 701.") Most people know little enough about the
phone system that, gee, maybe they'll get billed for this call.
Auto-dialers are better yet - they will believe anything you tell them
- it's generally easier to make them think they've sold something than
to try to hang up on them. (I wonder if Breshnev's subscription is
being properly delivered?)
Salesmen on the other hand are a little harder to deal with - you just
need to find their weak spot - when we were having a deck installed and
had a second floor patio door with no way of getting to it, a request
to come around to the back door was fairly effective.
Remember, "Illigitium non carborundum"
Bruce McNair, AT&T Information Systems Labs, Holmdel, NJjeff@heurikon.UUCP (03/20/84)
I recall seeing a story on one of those TV newsmagazines about
a fellow who also liked to collect junk mail. He had a wood-burning
stove and used the stuff for *fuel* to heat his house. He even
classified various types of junk mail according to its heating
value.
--
/"""\ Jeffrey Mattox, Heurikon Corp, Madison, WI
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