rcd@opus.UUCP (03/16/84)
<> > Don't expect a "no solicitors" sign to prevent salesmen from approaching > you. Most salesmen are told that people don't feel the need for such > signs unless they're "soft touches"... However, you can probably cure that misimpression very quickly. A salesman who bothers you when you have a "no solicitors" sign (a) is trespassing and (b) has been warned. You can feel free to sign a complaint against him. -- Cerebus for Dictator! {hao,ucbvax,allegra}!nbires!rcd
leeway@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Lee Gold) (03/17/84)
We've got a sign on our door that seems to solve this problem. It says: NO DOOR TO DOOR SALESMEN NO MISSIONARIES NO SOLICITORS FOR WORTHY CAUSES Anyone disregarding this notice will have the door slammed in his face. Some people come up to the door, read it, and leave. Some ring the bell, read the sign then, and flee. Some don't read it. I offer my sympathies to them on their illiteracy-- and close the door in their faces. You're welcome to copy the idea.
ber@gummo.UUCP (03/20/84)
#R:opus:-23600:gummo:66100003:000:219 gummo!ber Mar 20 00:58:00 1984 Threatening to slam the door in one's face seems rather mild. If you're really serious about it, use the sign that cautions: Warning - No Trespassing! Violators Will Be Shot! Survivors Will Be Prosecuted!
paul@uiucuxc.UUCP (03/23/84)
#R:opus:-23600:uiucuxc:34200002:000:2242 uiucuxc!paul Mar 23 22:43:00 1984 > /***** uiucuxc:net.consumers / gummo!ber / 5:51 am Mar 20, 1984 */ > Threatening to slam the door in one's face seems rather mild. > If you're really serious about it, use the sign that cautions: > > Warning - No Trespassing! > Violators Will Be Shot! > Survivors Will Be Prosecuted! Actually my favorite was something put together with the aid of the Devil's Dictionary (by Ambrose Bierce - a mild man suitable for pre- teenagers :-)) ****** .sp |1i .po .405i .ll 6.25i .hy 14 .di A .ft B .if t .vs 43.2p .ps 36 .ce 3 WARNING! Solicitors will be shot; .br Trespassers will be violated. .di .di B .ps 9 .vs 10.8p These include Moonies, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Krishniks, Catholics, Christian Scientists, Born Again types, Jesus Freaks of any stripe, divines, ecclesiastics, popes, parsons, canons, monks, mullahs, voodoos, presbyters, hierophants, obeah-men, abb\o'e\(aa's, nuns, missionaries, exhorters, deacons, friars, hadjis, high-priests, muezzins, brahmins, medicine-men, confessors, eminences, elders, primates, prelates, pilgrims, prophets, imaums, archbishops, bishops, abbots, priors, preachers, padres, caloyers, palmers, curates, patriarchs, bonezs, santons, beadsman, residentiaries, diocesans, deans, subdeans, rural deans, abdals, charm-sellers, archdeacons, hierarchs, class-leaders, incumbents, capitulars, sheiks, talapoins, postulants, scribes, gurus, precentors, beadles, fakeers, sextons, reverences, revivalists, cenobites, perpetual curates, chaplains, mudjoes, readers, novices, vicars, pastors, rabbis, ulemas, lamas, sacristans, vergers, dervises, lectors, church wardens, cardinals, suffragans, acolytes, rectors, cur\o'e\(aa's, sophis, mutifs, pumpums and any other sky pilots seeking to aquire a share of my wealth and/or my hypothetical soul. This also includes frat-rats and other assholes on general principles. .sp .5i .di .ps 36 .ll 7.1i .TS expand doublebox; l. .in .425i .A .B .in .TE .sp 1i .ab ****** As it appears, the religious solicitors were the problem in my neighborhood. Paul Pomes uucp: {decvax,ihnp4,pur-ee,ucbvax}!uiucdcs!uiucuxc!paul US Mail: Paul Pomes, University of Illinois 1304 W Springfield, Urbana, IL 61801 Phone: 217-333-6262