[net.consumers] JCPenney -- goblets

hdt@sunybcs.UUCP (Howard D. Trachtman) (03/28/84)

. .. ... Bits for the buggy machine's bit bucket. 

I just got a JCPenney credit card.  Now, two months later they send
me something which says they'll send me a goblet with my family crest
on it for $1.79  (then you'll get one every month and be billed ~$20.)
They say they're going to use some genealogy agency to determine my
family crest.  They also state that you get a refund if they can't
find a crest.  My question is what are the credentials of the place
they are using?  Do they make up a logo if they can't find one?
PS: They say you can cancel anytime.  Anyone know how difficult
this is in practice?
-- 
Howard D. Trachtman SUNY/Buffalo
{hao, pur-ee, uwvax}!seismo!rochester!rocksvax!sunybcs!hdt (UUCP) 
hdt.buffalo-cs@csnet-relay (ARPA)

US Snail:  2080 Niagara Falls Blvd.
           Tonawanda, NY 14150-5545 (use them all, if you dare)

ariels@mako.UUCP (04/02/84)

What they do if there isn't a crest in the common registries with
your family name is use one for a name that is close to yours.  I'm
sure they don't do anything more than look at the British, French,
German, Spanish, Russian, and Austrian arms registries for your name.  If
your particular branch of the family wasn't armigerous (awarded
arms), chances are that some other branch was. 

I was tempted to go for that first "free" goblet just to see what they
would come up with, since I KNOW that my family never had a crest
because they were never awarded arms.  Jews never were, at least while
they remained Jewish.  Not to say that they aren't today in England
(which is the only place in the western world outside of the Society
for Creative Anachronism that awards arms these days, I think), but
since the bulk of arms were awarded before the Restoration, if you're
Jewish it's pretty unlikely that you'd have a "family crest".

I'd like to find out what they'd come up with for a family with an
Oriental name.  That is, whether they'll go to look in the Chinese,
Japanese, Korean, Siamese, etc. registries.  I'd also be curious
about what they'd find for a Black family.  Would they go all the
way back to the great civilizations of ancient Africa, or would they
use the "American" names that were likely taken when the family came
to the US as slaves?

In other words, the likelyhood of them finding a family crest for
you that you actually have a right to use is very slim.  

And then there's the family names with a number of different crests
for different branches of the family, like MacDonald.  How do you
even know they have the right one...?

Ariel (my arms are from the SCA) Shattan
..!tektronix!orca!ariels

presley@mhuxj.UUCP (Joe Presley) (04/03/84)

Re "Duke Univ Lib" and the Lib family coat of arms.

A long time ago I remember reading something about how a church got one
of those computer-generated form letters.  It went something like (from
my very faulty memory): 

     <some town> Church of Christ
     Dear Mr. Christ,
        Do you feel you could get more out of life? ...
          <or something along those lines>
-- 

   Joe Presley (mhuxj!presley, ihnp4!j.presley)

toma@tekchips.UUCP (04/03/84)

--------
My father researched our family and found a description and picture of
the family crest in an old book.  He sent the description to one of those
firms that research and sell crests and got one made.  Prior to doing the
research he sent them what he knew about the family genealogy and they
sent his money back because they could not match it with one in their files.
I guess there is at least one reputable firm out there.  I wouldn't trust
the JCP deal though.

Tom Almy
Tektronix   (many sites)!tektronix!tekchips!toma

maggie2@iwpba.UUCP (maggie2) (04/03/84)

I also got this notice and told them to go ahead and send the
goblet.  (I'm a sucker for these free giveaways!)  The goblet
is lead crystal and comes with a certificate saying that the crest
is *a* Czajka family crest (not neccessarily my line).  The crest
is a horseshoe with an iron cross in the center.  Since Czajka
has something to do with a bird (in Polish), the horseshoe sur-
prised me.  I'm sure they didn't research my family line but I
didn't expect that anyway!  They sent a catalog of different glasses,
bells, tankards, pitchers, etc.  that you can get with the crest
and a card saying "Please Cancel" to send back.  I didn't have any
problems canceling.  So if you'd just like some nice glasses with
your name and a crest on them (who's going to know if it's real or
not?), it's probably worth it.  If you're really interested in
tracing your family - I wouldn't put a lot of confidence in the 
authenticity of the crest being your family's.

                       M. Czajka
                       ...!ihnp4!iwpba!maggie2

jas@drutx.UUCP (ShanklandJA) (04/03/84)

Then there was the owner of a deli somewhere in the S.F. Bay area who
got junk mail addressed to "Ms. Delica Tessen" (as reported by Herb Caen
in that jewel of U.S. journalism :-), the San Francisco Chronicle).

Jim Shankland
..!ihnp4!druxy!jas

zben@umcp-cs.UUCP (04/03/84)

Received here at the University of Maryland:

     Dr. Univ Of, MD
     Dear Dr. Of:

(at the student lounge of section A of the Cambridge dormitory):

     Mr. Cambridge A. Lounge
     Dear Mr. Lounge:

This last was actually delivered to the lounge!

Ben Cranston       ...seismo!umcp-cs!zben           zben@umd2.ARPA

bcw@duke.UUCP (Bruce C. Wright) (04/08/84)

Not quite on the subject of family crests &c, but on the subject of
stupid "customized" mailer programs:

Some years back we entered a computer program in a number of chess
tournaments (human tournaments, that is).  We asked the USCF what
would be necessary to do this (circe 1974 - this info is now out of
date), and were told that all we needed to do was to send in our
$10 and give them an address for where to send its (!) magazine (which
is sent to all USCF members).  Some time later, we got a solicitation
from a certain national magazine addressed to "Computer Duchess" which
talked about how they were sure that the "Duchess family" would be
delighted to subscribe, etc. etc.  I think I may still have that
lying around somewhere ....

				Bruce C. Wright