jmm@bonnie.UUCP (Joe Mcghee) (10/25/84)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trisha will now conduct the afternoon session of TWO MINUTES HATE: >> What's this crap got to do with the Celtic language? Somehow it >> strikes me more as something that should go in net.nlang.crap... > > jmm's postings actually have nothing to do with much of anything, > Tom, including the real world. What I'm waiting for are his equally > eloquent postings on the deaths of the people killed by the IRA > last week in it's futile attempt to assassinate the British Prime > Minister. > > Don't forget jmm is the self-proclaimed "Winston Smith" of the net -- > that fact alone puts his babblings in perspective. > > Trisha B.B.! B.B.! B.B.! B.B.! Q.E.II ! Q.E. II ! Q.E. II ! Whew! Just give me a second to calm myself down. There that's better. Those group hate sessions always get me whipped up for a couple of minutes. The latest statement from the British government is that THE BRISTOL BOMBING WAS NOT CARRIED OUT BY THE IRA AT ALL! The more advanced minds in British intelligence seem to think that the IRA doesn't have the smarts to pull off an operation like this. They state that it was obviously carried out by a local sympathetic support group located in England, given the fact that the agents apparently had impeccable upper class British accents. There those Brits go again killing each other - brother against brother and father against son - just like in the Cromwellian Civil War and the innumerable wars of royal succession! Maybe we could send in a U.N. peacekeeping force to keep them from tearing each other apart. Lets see, we could partition the country into various economic, ethnic and social classes and have the U.N. troops maintain the boundaries between the various warring tribal factions. Now, what nation has enough experience at U.N. peacekeeping missions? I've got it! How about the Irish Army? They've got tons of experience in that line! It just goes to show you that you should check in with the local branch of the British Propaganda Service.... opps! British Information Service and ask them what the latest story is before you write an article, Trisha. You just call them up and say my name is Patricia O'Tuama and I want... No, that'll never work. Oh, forget it! Ah, the shifting sands of international politics. I know Winston Smith had the same problem keeping up with the changing versions of reality that kept on coming to him at his desk at the Ministry of Truth. Its funny though, sometimes the BBC, CBS, NBC, etc. seem to have the same kind of problem. I've often read in the Irish papers that Mr. Brown, lets say, was assassinated by the Ulster Freedom Fighters, Ulster Volunteer Force or some other loyalist paramilitary group and later when the story comes out on TV network news the anchor man says something like "Mr. Brown was killed yesterday by Irish terrorists." Now, there's an example of a neatly turned propaganda line. If the news people are ever hassled about accuracy they simply say "Well, aren't loyalists Irishmen too?" (Yes, they are, but only when they commit some hideous crime as far as the British are concerned.) And the public is left with a very clear impression that another loyalist assassination was actually carried out by the IRA. Another example is the case of a fellow known as Colonel "Mad Mike" Hoare. After retiring from the British Army with the rank of Colonel, Mad Mike went on to become the most notorious mercenary on the continent of Africa. Some people say that Mike's last name isn't his mother's last name but her profession and Mike just doesn't know how to spell. Anyway, a couple of years ago Mad Mike flew into the Seychelles Islands with a large number of his mercenary colleagues and tried to overthrow the government of that little independent nation. But the people of the Seychelles wouldn't have any part of it and they captured or drove out all of Mad Mike's Men. When asked what he would have done if he had succeeded, Mad Mike said he would have turned the Seychelles over to the Queen and the British government! And how did the TV press explain this fiasco to the American people? Why, they told us that Mad Mike was (Would you believe?) an Irishman! Given the resourcefulness of British military intelligence, I have no doubt that they could have produced a birth certificate in short order which showed that Mad Mike popped out when his mother was rolling through Northern Ireland. But I'm just as certain that if Mad Mike had won the Nobel Prize, he would promptly be claimed as a British subject if not an Englishman. From the notebook of Winston Smith Ministry of Truth Airstrip One (in real life J.M. McGhee) clyde!bonnie!jmm "Roamin' in the gloamin' by the bonnie banks o' Clyde, Roamin' in the gloamin' wi' m' lassie by m' side....."
haapanen@watdcsu.UUCP (Tom Haapanen [DCS]) (10/31/84)
< Nami nami nami nami ... > >>> What's this crap got to do with the Celtic language? Somehow it >>> strikes me more as something that should go in net.nlang.crap... >> >> jmm's postings actually have nothing to do with much of anything, >> Tom, including the real world. What I'm waiting for are his equally >> eloquent postings on the deaths of the people killed by the IRA >> last week in it's futile attempt to assassinate the British Prime >> Minister. >> >> Trisha > > The latest statement from the British government is that THE BRISTOL > BOMBING WAS NOT CARRIED OUT BY THE IRA AT ALL! > There > those Brits go again killing each other - brother against brother and father > against son - just like in the Cromwellian Civil War and the innumerable wars > of royal succession! This still does not answer my question: WHY THE H_LL ARE YOU POSTING THIS SH_T IN NET.NLANG.CELTS AND NET.LEGAL ? Also, somehow the doings of British mercenaries (who, by definition, do not work for the British government) don't appear to be relevant to the discussion about who's killed more people the IRA or the British Army. Personally, I think IRA is ahead by a wide margin, but they'll, I'm sure, credit some of those to the British. As to the British civil war, aren't the catholics and protestants fairly keen on killing each other off in Northern Ireland (right now, not 300 years ago)? Grow up, Joe, and limit your postings to net.flame (and net.politics if you REALLY want). Otherwise we'll have to create a net.terrorism just for you to post the latest accomplishments of the IRA. (Incidentally, at least initially, they claimed 'credit' for the hotel bombing...) Disclaimer: I'm not British, I'm not even a monarchist (even if I am a Canadian), and I particularly don't like the British Army. I'll take them over IRA any day, though. Tom Haapanen University of Waterloo (519) 744-2468 allegra \ clyde \ \ decvax ---- watmath --- watdcsu --- haapanen ihnp4 / / linus / The opinions herein are not those of my employers, of the University of Waterloo, and probably not of anybody else either.