pjk@hou2a.UUCP (P.KEMP) (09/06/85)
I've been watching Doctor Who for quite some time
now and have come to the conclusion that the Time
Lords have a complete disregard for personal safety!
Here is a list of some of safety violations I have
found with the TARDIS:
* Only one exit (no alternate or emergency exit/escape pods)
* Exit is not clearly marked
* No windows (for emergency ventilation/escape)
* No smoke or fire detection
* No sprinklers (or other fire suppression devices)
* No fire/emergency alarm system [would the cloister(?) bell count?]
* No fire extinguishers
* No evacuation procedure or drills
* No emergency lighting (?)
* No life jackets
* No seatbelts (or other restraint system)
* No "emergency stop" provision [as on elevators (lifts) or railway cars]
* Improper exterior marking/lighting (the flashing light on top is
inadequate)
* Unregistered vehicle/unlicensed operator (Does The Doctor have a license
to operate a time capsule?)
Can anyone name any other violations?
If the TARDIS is equipped with any of the above,
please post the correction with a reference to a
particular episode/novel.
No wonder The Doctor rarely visits the USA, an OSHA
inspector would have a field day with the TARDIS!
Maybe this is why they discontinued the type 40.
I hope the Time Lords don't expect that the state
of temporal grace that exists inside the TARDIS
exempts them from safety regulations, as this "system"
has been known to fail!
James (nyssa), maybe you should bring this up with
J N-T when you speak to him about the use of the
name "TARDIS."
:-) (-:
--
Paul Kemp
ihnp4!hou2a!pjk
"Are you sure this planet is supposed to be here?"
The above statements are those of the author only,
and are not those of AT&T Bell Laboratories.pjk@hou2a.UUCP (P.KEMP) (09/06/85)
Found another safety violation last night:
* Exit door opens inward
This is clearly bad in cases of panic evacuation.
:-) (-:
--
Paul Kemp
ihnp4!hou2a!pjk
"Are you sure this planet is supposed to be here?"
The above statements are those of the author only,
and are not those of AT&T Bell Laboratories.kyrimis@tilt.FUN (Kriton Kyrimis) (09/06/85)
In article <631@hou2a.UUCP> pjk@hou2a.UUCP (P.KEMP) writes: >* Only one exit (no alternate or emergency exit/escape pods) In "The Masque of Mandragora", the Doctor (Tom Baker) went back to the "original control room", and guided the TARDIS from there for at least two episodes (haven't seen any beyond "The Hand of Fear"). That was a room decorated in classical style, the TARDIS console was much smaller and made out of wood (!!!) and, yes, there was a door! Based on that, it would be easy to assume that *all* rooms have a door to the outside, even though you can *enter* the TARDIS through whatever control room happens to be in use. >* Exit is not clearly marked Yes, but the first thing the Doctor does when he enters the TARDIS, is to close the door by pulling that lever with the big red knob (OK, it was a later addition, but still...). If you first came to the TARDIS along with the Doctor, it should be very easy to pick it up (as that schoolteacher did, in "The Awakening"). If you first came in alone, then you probably found the door open, so you know how to get out. (Not to mention that you shouldn't be in there in the first place). >* No emergency lighting (?) See "Death to the Daleks", a Jon Pertwee episode. After a power failure, the emergency lighting came up, only to fail itself a few moments later. >Can anyone name any other violations? - No lifeboats (or their spaceship equivalent) - No spacesuits. People enter unknown environments/the vacuum of space with only their clothes on (and sometimes even without them - see "Death to the Daleks", where Sarah goes out to a freezing planet dressed for a day at the beach). -- Kriton (princeton!tilt!kyrimis) ------ "I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow..." ------
percus@acf4.UUCP (Allon G. Percus) (09/07/85)
I believe I have found a few minor flaws: > * Only one exit (no alternate or emergency exit/escape pods) In "Invasion of Time", and maybe "Arc of Infinity" too, I believe it is mentioned that there are thousands of minor exits everywhere. I think one is even used in one of these two stories mentioned. > * No windows (for emergency ventilation/escape) Are they really necessary when there are so many exits? > * No fire/emergency alarm system [would the cloister(?) bell count?] I think it would count. In "Logopolis", I think The Doctor mentions that its use is as an emergency bell. > * No emergency lighting (?) I THINK, mind you I'm not surre, but I THINK that you learn otherwise in "The Edge of Destruction" and many other stories. > * Improper exterior marking/lighting (the flashing light on top is > inadequate) Well, that depends on what it looks like on the outside. If it's a police box, what do you expect. However, in "Time-Flight" for instance, when the Master's TARDIS (yes, I do use this contraversial term because of my linguistic theory) looks like a Boeing-747, I'm sure it has quite adequate lighting for night flying (If it is indeed an imitation of a 747 on the outside). Obviously, the Time Lords did not intend the Doctor's capsule to look like an old metropolitain box. A. G. Percus (ARPA) percus@acf4 (NYU) percus.acf4 (UUCP) ...!ihnp4!cmcl2!acf4!percus
nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken) (09/07/85)
> - No spacesuits. People enter unknown environments/the vacuum of space > with only their clothes on (and sometimes even without them - see > "Death to the Daleks", where Sarah goes out to a freezing planet > dressed for a day at the beach). Spacesuits were available in "Four to Doomsday", although Salamander was killed by having the door open during a TARDIS takeoff. -- James C. Armstrong, Jnr. {ihnp4,cbosgd,akgua}!abnji!nyssa Maybe they'll want one of your women to experiment on, perhaps I shall take this one to them! -who said it, what story? (Get the reply to me by Thursday!)
percus@acf4.UUCP (Allon G. Percus) (09/08/85)
> Found another safety violation last night: > > * Exit door opens inward > > This is clearly bad in cases of panic evacuation. Yeah, but really -- again, this is only when it is a police box on the outside? A. G. Percus (ARPA) percus@acf4 (NYU) percus.acf4 (UUCP) ...!ihnp4!cmcl2!acf4!percus
csdf@mit-vax.UUCP (Charles Forsythe) (09/08/85)
In article <632@hou2a.UUCP> pjk@hou2a.UUCP (P.KEMP) writes: >Found another safety violation last night: >* Exit door opens inward >This is clearly bad in cases of panic evacuation. I suppose the best advice in that case is:"DON'T PANIC." -- Charles Forsythe CSDF@MIT-VAX "We pray to Fred for the Hopelessly Normal Have they not suffered enough?" from _The_Nth_Psalm_ in _The_Book_of_Fred_
jeq@laidbak.UUCP (Jonathan E. Quist) (09/10/85)
In article <631@hou2a.UUCP> pjk@hou2a.UUCP (P.KEMP) writes: > >* Only one exit (no alternate or emergency exit/escape pods) Not true. Of course, to get to the alternate exit from the main control room, one has to find his/her/its way through the TARDIS to the auxiliary control room. You may notice that when exiting the main control room, one exits the left door (facing the call box exterior from outside), and when leaving the auxiliary control room (the one which looks like somebody did some housecleaning at the BBC warehouse) one exits via the right door. Of course, I could be wrong. Jonathan E. Quist ihnp4!laidbak!jeq ``Corsal Nexxus??'' (Old High Gallifreyan for ``Lemon Curry??'')
buchbind@agrigene.UUCP (09/12/85)
> > Found another safety violation last night: > * Exit door opens inward > This is clearly bad in cases of panic evacuation. If I recall correctly, the Doctor & Company are more likely to be in a hurry to get into the Tardis than to get out. -- Barry Buchbinder (608)221-5000 Agrigenetics Corp.; 5649 E. Buckeye Rd.; Madison WI 53716 USA {seismo!uwvax!astroatc,decvax,ihnp4}!nicmad!agrigene!buchbind
pjk@hou2a.UUCP (P.KEMP) (09/12/85)
> From: percus@acf4.UUCP (Allon G. Percus) > > > Found another safety violation last night: > > > > * Exit door opens inward > > > > This is clearly bad in cases of panic evacuation. > > Yeah, but really -- again, this is only when it is a police box > on the outside? > A. G. Percus > (UUCP) ...!ihnp4!cmcl2!acf4!percus The door(s) of the TARDIS would open inward no matter what it looked like on the outside, whether it was an Ionic column, a grandfather clock, or a Chesterfield sofa, as demonstrated by The Master's capsule. Also, outside lighting and marking would still be inadequate for these other disguises too! :-) -- Paul Kemp ihnp4!hou2a!pjk "Are you sure this planet is supposed to be here?" The above statements are those of the author only, and are not those of AT&T Bell Laboratories.
jeq@laidbak.UUCP (Jonathan E. Quist) (09/13/85)
In article <632@hou2a.UUCP> pjk@hou2a.UUCP (P.KEMP) writes: >Found another safety violation last night: >* Exit door opens inward >This is clearly bad in cases of panic evacuation. Personally, I wouldn't want outward-opening hatches on any vessel expected to travel (spinning from a wire all the while) through the relative vacuum of space. Jonathan E. Quist ihnp4!laidbak!jeq ``Newton invented punting?''
gts@wjh12.UUCP (G. T. Samson) (09/14/85)
In article <341@tilt.FUN>, kyrimis@tilt.FUN (Kriton Kyrimis) writes: > >Can anyone name any other violations? ... > - No spacesuits. People enter unknown environments/the vacuum of space > with only their clothes on (and sometimes even without them - see > "Death to the Daleks", where Sarah goes out to a freezing planet > dressed for a day at the beach). > -- > Kriton (princeton!tilt!kyrimis) > ------ > "I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow..." > ------ In "Four to Doomsday" the Doctor pulls out some sort of headgear that allows humans/Alzarians/Trakenites to survive in atmospheres without oxygen. They also allow Time Lords to go into vacuum without exploding, apparently. So, since TARDISes are for the use of Time Lords, these would be the equivalent of space suits. -- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name: G. T. Samson Title: The Evil MicroWizard Quote: "No matter where you go...there you are." -- B. Banzai Other_Quote: "You speak treason!" "Fluently!" -- The Doctor ARPA: gts@wjh12 [preferred] OR samson%h-sc4@harvard USMail: Lowell N-43, Harvard U., Cambridge, MA 02138
kbb@faron.UUCP (Kenneth B. Bass) (09/17/85)
In article <627@wjh12.UUCP> gts@wjh12.UUCP (G. T. Samson) writes: >In article <341@tilt.FUN>, kyrimis@tilt.FUN (Kriton Kyrimis) writes: >> >Can anyone name any other violations? >... >> - No spacesuits. People enter unknown environments/the vacuum of space >> with only their clothes on (and sometimes even without them - see >> "Death to the Daleks", where Sarah goes out to a freezing planet >> dressed for a day at the beach). >> -- >> Kriton (princeton!tilt!kyrimis) > >In "Four to Doomsday" the Doctor pulls out some sort of headgear that allows >humans/Alzarians/Trakenites to survive in atmospheres without oxygen. They >also allow Time Lords to go into vacuum without exploding, apparently. So, >since TARDISes are for the use of Time Lords, these would be the equivalent >of space suits. > > >--------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Name: G. T. Samson >Title: The Evil MicroWizard >Quote: "No matter where you go...there you are." -- B. Banzai >Other_Quote: "You speak treason!" "Fluently!" -- The Doctor >ARPA: gts@wjh12 [preferred] OR samson%h-sc4@harvard >USMail: Lowell N-43, Harvard U., Cambridge, MA 02138 I seem to remember one episode with Tom Baker as the Doctor where he didn't need to where a spacesuit (or headgear) out in space. Actually, it wasn't in space, but rather inside a spaceship. The Doctor was hiding in the ship when it took off; the pilot of the ship had on a suit though. Maybe the suit was only needed for oxygen (since the Doctor put himself into a trance to reduce his need for oxygen). But, if a ship didn't have any air in it, wouldn't that be somewhat of a vaccuum? (then again, this is television :-)) The episode, by the way, was the one about Eden being holographically captured on some sort of crystal. Can't remember the name right off hand. "It ain't necessarily so" ken bass linus!faron!kbb
jerry@uwmcsd1.UUCP (Jerry Lieberthal) (09/19/85)
> >... > >> - No spacesuits. People enter unknown environments/the vacuum of space > >> with only their clothes on (and sometimes even without them - see > > > >In "Four to Doomsday" the Doctor pulls out some sort of headgear that allows > >humans/Alzarians/Trakenites to survive in atmospheres without oxygen. They > > > I seem to remember one episode with Tom Baker as the Doctor where he > didn't need to where a spacesuit (or headgear) out in space. Actually, > it wasn't in space, but rather inside a spaceship. The Doctor was hiding The episode was "Nightmare in Eden", and Baker does that kind of trick several times where he just "holds his breath", a trick he apparently picked up from the tibetan monks. I believe the first time that was done with Baker was in the hyperbaric chamber of "Terror of the Zygons", in which the atmosphere was rather depleted (perhaps close to vacuum?). -- ------------------------------------------------ - jerry University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Computing Services Division ihnp4!uwmcsd1!jerry uwmcsd1!jerry@wisc-rsch.ARPA
wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin ) (09/23/85)
In article <541@uwmcsd1.UUCP> jerry@uwmcsd1.UUCP (Jerry Lieberthal) writes: > >The episode was "Nightmare in Eden", and Baker does that kind of trick >several times where he just "holds his breath", a trick he apparently picked >up from the tibetan monks. I believe the first time that was done with Baker >was in the hyperbaric chamber of "Terror of the Zygons", in which the >atmosphere was rather depleted (perhaps close to vacuum?). > I remembered that "breath-holding" trick, too, and so I was totally miffed by the way the writers had Tom Baker pass out due to gas in the Electronic Funds Transfer booth when he sticks in the forged credit card (actually more of a credit slab... :-) to get the thousand talmars for the rebels. (This was the story where he and Leela land on Pluto and aid a rebellion against "the company" -- just saw it last night but can't recall the name, sorry...) More failures of continuity, and more evidence in support of my Great Plan to have fans run or at least edit everything they are fans of... Will
pjk@hou2a.UUCP (P.KEMP) (09/24/85)
I've gotten a few comments on my safety article and would like to go over the list of violations again. First, the TARDIS (and other time capsules) has characteristics of both a vehicle and an edifice. That is why I listed things like windows, etc. People have pointed out that the cloister bell is indeed an emergency alarm, that emergency lighting has been used in some stories (names?) and that there is indeed an alternate exit from the TARDIS. On the last point, the book "Doctor Who - A Celebration: TDTTAS" states on the bottom of page 116: > Two other interesting features about the machine [the TARDIS] > is that it has an emergency escape door (which exists [sic] > through the back of the police box) and ... What story(ies) is this feature demonstrated? Also, the TARDIS does have an automatic "emergency stop" as demonstrated in the story "The Edge of Destruction." Space helmets (as in "Four to Doomsday") could be considered "life jackets." The other safety violations still stand. Trivia Question: What were the first (I don't know) and the last (easy) stories that the Sonic Screwdriver appeared in? -- Paul Kemp ihnp4!hou2a!pjk President of SPUNT (the Society for the Proper Usage of the Name "TARDIS") [Anyone else want to join? :-)] "Are you sure this planet is supposed to be here?" The above statements are those of the author only, and are not those of AT&T Bell Laboratories.
percus@acf4.UUCP (Allon G. Percus) (09/24/85)
> ...(This was the story where he and Leela land on Pluto and aid > a rebellion against "the company" -- just saw it last night but can't > recall the name, sorry...) The name is "The Sunmakers." A. G. Percus (ARPA) percus@acf4 (NYU) percus.acf4 (UUCP) ...!ihnp4!cmcl2!acf4!percus
cipher@mmm.UUCP (Andre Guirard) (11/28/85)
In article <541@uwmcsd1.UUCP> jerry@uwmcsd1.UUCP (Jerry Lieberthal) writes: >> >In "Four to Doomsday" the Doctor pulls out some sort of headgear that allows >> >humans/Alzarians/Trakenites to survive in atmospheres without oxygen. They >> >> I seem to remember one episode with Tom Baker as the Doctor where he >> didn't need to where a spacesuit (or headgear) out in space. Actually, >> it wasn't in space, but rather inside a spaceship. The Doctor was hiding > >The episode was "Nightmare in Eden", and Baker does that kind of trick >several times where he just "holds his breath", a trick he apparently picked >up from the tibetan monks. I believe the first time that was done with Baker Time Lords and even mere human beings do NOT explode when exposed to vacuum, as you all seem to suppose they should. It is very uncomfortable, however, and it is not possible (or at least not safe to try) to hold your breath. A greater danger is the temperature. -- /''`\ Andre Guirard ([]-[]) De Tuss from de Tonn \ o / ihnp4!mmm!cipher `-'
wtb@rayssd.UUCP (William T. Blake) (12/03/85)
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