ccc@bu-cs.UUCP (Cameron Carson) (05/30/85)
>From: msy@siemens.UUCP >Subject: SIXERS (Billy C.) >Last night, I heard on the news that Billy Cunningham will be resigning >as the couch of the Philadelphia 76ers. >Billy C. was a very good couch, although he was not an EXCELLECNT one. >All during the time when Billy was couching, the sixers had very good >chance at the NBA title... >Plus, Sixers only won NBA championship only once (with a somewhat better >couching, they could've had at 3 or more in the last 7-10 years). BM: Hi, I'm Brent Musburger, live from the locker room of the Philadelphia 76ers, to bring you player reaction to Billy Cunningham's resignation as couch. Here with me now is Julius Erving. Tell me J, what is the overall mood of the team after hearing the news? DR J: Well Brent, we were all a bit shocked at first, but we realize now that we should have seen it coming. Billy's nap has been rather worn-looking since the start of the season, and after the first three losses of the Celtics series, he became downright shiny. BM: You've been with him as long as anybody: how do you respond to those who claim that though Billy was a good couch, he was not an excellent one? DR J: Those comments come from people who don't really know our team. It's true that we are the smallest team in the league, so at 6'7" Billy was a great couch for us. Almost no one hung over the end and he was a real player's couch--always available. Nobody walked on him, but then, most of us learned to respect our couches from our mothers back home in our living rooms. BM: Moses, could you step in here a minute a tell our viewers how Billy's resignation will effect the team? MM: I think that the younger players will be effected most of all. The experienced veteran relies less on the couch's support. Over the years he acquires his own loveseat or maybe a recliner-rocker. But a rookie coming to the NBA with little more than a stool or a lawn chair will really feel the loss. BM: With us now is the general manager of the 'Sixers. GM, your couch has just resigned, your team has suffered a surprisingly quick elimination from the playoffs, and morale is bound to be low. Where do you go from here? GM: Well, Brent, it will be very difficult to replace Billy Cunningham. He was a contemporary couch, flexible, unassuming, and nothing like his colonial predecessors who always had their backs up about something. We are considering two options: we'll first look among the ranks of the assistant couches--your padded armchairs, your ottomans, your hassocks, your hide-a-beds--but we may decide that the game is due for a drastic innovation and bring in a radically different piece of furniture, say, a chaise lounge or even a hammock, to take over Billy's couching duties. BM: Thank you very much, GM, Moses, J, for speaking with us. Now let's go back to Pat O'brien in our New York studios for more "At The Half." -- Cameron C. Carson Distributed Systems Group Boston University ACC UUCP: ...!harvard!bu-cs!ccc ARPA: ccc%bu-cs.csnet@csnet-relay.arpa