peg@linus.UUCP (Margaret E. Craft) (11/30/83)
A friend of mine with a new baby at home just calmly informed me that they are scheduling their child's nursing. "We had a choice between an eight hour stretch at nite followed by a four hour stretch, or two six hour stretches." I was amazed to find that not everyone does pure demand feedings these days. His reason was pretty logical: If you feed him when he cries, then you are teaching him to cry!! I have several references in my books about this, but wanted some reactions from real, experienced people. Am I training my child to cry for food??!! Is he creating a child who will feel insecure because his requests (i.e., his cries) are ignored, or at least are not met by the thing he's asking for (food)?? How many of you used scheduled feedings? How many used demand? Is there such a thing as a compromise between the two? Please respond directly to me unless you think you have something of general interest to say. I'll summarized the results.
bmcjmp@burdvax.UUCP (12/03/83)
While I have no children of my own yet, I do have some experience with newborns, and it seemed to me that a young baby will not cry unless there is a good reason for it, such as wet diapers, feeling ill, or being hungry. Crying is the only way a baby has of saying, "Something is wrong, please fix it." Feeding on demand will not "teach" babies to cry -- they already know how to do that! Not feeding on demand is more likely to upset the child and result in long, irritating crying spells. Ignoring the child will not make the crying stop, only fixing the problem will. Of course, one cannot always feed the child the very moment they cry. Making them wait a little won't hurt them. But they should be fed as soon as possible. After all, they do know when they need food, and very few babies will overeat if breast-fed. The happiest babies I've known were those breast-fed on a demand basis. Barb Puder, burdvax!bmcjmp (not burdvax!puder)
rej@cornell.UUCP (Ralph Johnson) (12/05/83)
My favorite child psychologist (Dr. James Dobson) says that it is impossible to spoil a child under 6 months old, so always give them what they want if it is safe, practical, etc. This advice implies that demand feeding will not teach a baby to cry. My daughter likes to eat, and, until recently, woke several times a night for a snack. While it was not hard for my wife to feed her (since she kept the food in bed with her) this procedure kept my wife from getting the sleep she needed. We decided to let our daughter learn that night time was for sleeping, so the next night we let her cry instead of feeding her. After that she has only been getting up once a night, and we are all much happier. Moral: demand feeding is OK, but children are pretty adaptable. (P.S. My daughter is 6 months old.)
rs55611@ihuxk.UUCP (12/06/83)
In regard to the demand vrs. scheduled feeding issue, I have a comment on one aspect: the teaching of a child how to cry, ie. spoiling. I believe that the most commonly accepted school of thought nowadays is that it is impossible to spoil a child in the first 6 months of life. (perhaps a little too strongly stated, but that's how some experts put it) This view states that responding quickly to a chil'd cries (at <6 months, anyway) will not spoil the child, or make the child more dependent on his/her parents. In fact, the belief is that responding quickly to crying creates a feeling of security that results in greater independence leter on in the child's development. This ties in with the general recommendation for feeding on demand. I suppose if a schedule can be adhered to without the child crying, that would be fine as well. (Of course, twenty years ago schedules were the norm, and most children turned out just fine. We're talking about things that are hard to prove! My mother was told to feed me every 4 hours on the dot, no matter how much I cried. Needless to say, I don't hold that against her!) Bob Schleicher ihuxk!rs55611
pete@pegasus.UUCP (12/12/83)
Having 5 months experience with feeding an infant, I must share my experience with you. We are feeding our baby when she tells us she is hungry, since every indication is that babies know when their stomachs are empty and therefore need food. The main reason we have been happy with "demand" feeding is that our baby "self-regulated" herself into sleeping through the night rather quickly (8 weeks of age). Cannot say whether this is the result of demand feeding, but it happened that way. Our baby also has the feeling that when she tells the world she needs something, she gets a response--that is, she has an influence over what happens to her. I have heard of babies who are on a "schedule" who become lackadasical eaters, since they are offered food when they are not particularly hungry, and develop a disinterested attitude toward food and do not gain as well. I might also comment that our baby does not cry particularly much; as a matter of fact, we've gotten comments that she cries LESS than most babies. Maybe you can tell we are satisfied with using demand feeding.... Pat Lane c/o Peter Silverman at ATT-IS pegasus!pete