hess@psuvax.UUCP (Nathan R. Hess) (03/21/84)
I am posting the following for a friend:
(It contains responses to articles that were posted as long ago as
January; sorry for the time delay)
This is just going to be comments; who (and what) I am will come
later...
Re: Paul Lustgarten's comments... I agree, because there are bad
gifted programs does not mean that special attention for the gifted is
no a good idea...and there are better ways! And MOST SURELY yes, the
word emotional belongs in caps.
Suggestions for parents? 'Depends on the state you are in...in some
state there are laws, believe it or not, which require that special
provisions be made for gifted kids (PA is one). And by all means, not
only talk to other parents, but organize yourselves in order to work
effectively for your children. Since this is the real world, be
prepared to accustom yourself to THE LOOK and THE SIGH. The former from
your friends and neighbors, and the latter from some school people who
find you tiresome. Understand that you are not going to change the
world, and go about the business of taking care of your own child's needs
as you see them.
And by all means update your knowledge of the field. The most
sympathetic, helpful, practical guide I can think of is the 1983 edition
of Barbara Clark's GROWING UP GIFTED. It contains everything you need
for your child, and for yourself. Why for yourself? Because you are
still a "gifted kid", no matter what your age, and seeing yourself in
the proper perspective is just as necessary for your child's emotional
health as seeing him/her in proper perspective.
I agree absolutely about the negative explanations kids will develop for
their difference. One of my tiny pleasures in life is the twinkle in a
gifted teenager's eyes when I say "Us weirdos" and grin. In my own
case, I was 45! years old before I discovered that I was "gifted", not
singularly strange. In Pennsylvania, one may hear teachers who are
"into" gifted education (translation: those who care and also know what
they're doing) refer to the "severely and profoundly gifted"...we
realize only too well the "exceptional" does not include our kids in
most people's minds. Legally, gifted kids are exceptional in PA, but
laws don't always change the way people think.....
Low self-image? I battle it every day. Repressed rage? You'd be
amazed at the sweet faces which hide that kind of anger...we have all
felt it at some point in our lives, if we admit it. All the bad
experiences you cited are the biggest argument for some kind of program,
even if it isn't the best. When asked to evaluate her
less-than-marvelous gifted program, my then junior high daughter said,
"We did some really dumb activities, but it was worth it for one thing -
we could talk about strange topics that nobody else even knew about, and
you could ask any question you wanted, without having the whole class
all turn around in their seats and stare at you because you had an odd
response to something, or because you wanted to know more."
I like your term, adjustment in the child's environment. I also agree
that a child, at quite a young age, has the right to know about the
things which make him/her different. Most of all, however, a gifted kid
needs what we all need: a circle of loving persons who will accept you
for what you are, and help to ease the pain when Mostpeople don't
understand; and a few "others" who are like you, to make life fun, and
keep you from being stupid misunderstandings that are inevitable if you
are a gifted person. And when they meet those educators who can give
them what they need (honest, we are out here!), they will be ale to
respond. It is so pitifully easy to tell if a kid has been loved...
For Tom Roberts: "The boredom of intelligent children in the (any)
school system cannot be overestimated." Large AMEN. "Talk to your
children." YES! But don't stop there. Help them. Go see the teacher.
Ask POLITE questions. Roger Taylor, a funny and compassionate gifted
advocate from Illinois, says, "If parents come storming in to me about
what their kid is doing, more often than not, they do not have a clear
picture of the kid's ability. But if they come in politely, they almost
always turn out to have a good idea of how we need to help their child."
Pay special attention if, at any age, your child says, "I'm not learning
anything!" He may not have read Piaget, but he knows that there in so
difference between what he already has in there and what he is receiving
in class. They are often too immature to carry out the programs they
suggest, but that's what parents and teachers are for - to provide the
structure, the discipline and the loving guidance.
And please folks, don't jump all over T. C. Wheeler before you hear this
little dialogue between me and another teacher of a tenth grade gifted
class. (In our district, they don't keep the people who teach gifted
kids when budgets are cut - they are riffed like anyone else; and then
someone who is left gets "stuck" with the gifted program...but I
digress)
ME: How do you like teaching the gifted class?
SHE WHO WAS LEFT: I love it! They are such good kids...so NICE
...so clean-cut...I just like to look at my class, they such
good-looking kids!
ME: That's what worries me...
S W W L: WORRIES you???
ME: Yup...no weirdos, no grubbies, no kids with funny clothes...if
you have a true cross-section of all the gifted kids in any
district, you gotta have the strange ones...they are not all good
kids...one of my ambitions is to find some perfectly awful-looking
with a brilliant mind...(I turn to look at her, and she is staring
at me in the strangest way...)
In the early grades, when the kids are screened, teacher opinion counts
for a lot. I remember a mother who was told that her feisty daughter
"didn't deserve" to be tested for the gifted program, because she was a
discipline problem in her first grade class. So, T. C. Wheeler's flame
in understandable, especially in an affluent community.
However, I can't let pass the comments about NEA and tenure. In my
opinion, NEA is like any large organization - you take the good with
bad. I would not agree that it is responsible for protecting bad
teachers. Taxpayers are responsible for that. There are legal
procedures in any district for removal of a teacher. They are usually
some trouble to invoke, and they should be; people can be incredibly
petty in attacking teachers. In my case, it is tenure which allows me
to stick my neck out for gifted kids when it is not "politically" wise
to do so.
Children's Egos: Sorry Mom and Dad, but you are in charge here. One
very wise mother I know has a fund of comments like, "Did you know that
Spiro Agnew's I.Q. was 140?" which she drops with an air of feigned
innocence on her brilliant teenage daughter. "It's her way of telling
me I'm getting a little too impressed with myself," the daughter
reports. Balancing rights and responsibilities is the toughest job we
parents have. Like everything else, it is more-so who you have gifted
kids.
For Patricia Collins: I can understand why you quit - but after a
ten-year term teaching English to a complete spectrum of senior high
kids, I'm still not cynical...I'm taking a sabbatical, but I'm not
cynical! A small plea from one who is still trying: work WITH your
child's teachers - work ON the administration! And save your anger for
the people who make the decisions - the school board!
For Jeff Sargent: good suggestion, but you should know that many gifted
kids are bigger and stronger than their age-mates. It's just one more
of example of the need to look at each gifted kid as an individual...and
one more area that parents need to keep an eye on...
For Dave Mason: You are a capsule study in gifted education!
By now you have gathered that I am a teacher, a gifted kid and a parent
of gifted kids (four of them; ages 25, 23, 21, 19). I am speaking to
you through Nate Hess, a former student of mine, now a CS major at PSU.
(I feel like a visitor from the spirit world communicating through your
friendly, neighborhood medium!)
I have invited myself into this conversation in order to issue an
invitation. I am (also) a free-lance writer, and I am writing a
book about how gifted people deal with their lives. It is based on
the premise that the same things which make it difficult to get through
school can make it difficult to get through your life:
Being gifted is a lifelong problem/blessing...the costumes may change,
but the same skills are used and the same difficulties are encountered
from nursery school up through the corporate board room.
The world might go a little better if this phenomena could be explained
to the following people (and I'm tired of trying to talk to them one at
a time!): Gifted Kids of all ages who are presently unaware that their
"greater capacity for acquiring greater capacity" may be what is causing
problems in their lives...or who may not have the courage to take
advantage of their abilities; and those persons in society who may be
raising, teaching, loving, working with, married to, or just being plain
puzzled over a gifted "kid" in their lives.
The method involves a series of in-depth interviews in which the subject
reacts to statements made by and about gifted kids -- discarding those
the subject does not wish to discuss. Real names will not be used.
Since my home computer is not connected to anything except my husband, I
am inviting anyone who would like to participate (it's your chance to
tell the world) to contact me by mail.
Marylou K. Streznewski
Box 15A, R.R.#2
Furlong, PA 18925 phone: (215) 348-8898
Furlong is a wide place in the road in Bucks County, just north of
Philadelphia. I am willing to travel semi-reasonable distances for
interviews. People in CA or WA - get in touch; we'll think of
something.
--
"When you meet a master swordsman,
show him your sword.
When you meet a man who is not a poet,
do not show him your poem."
--Rinzai
Nate Hess