arndt@smurf.DEC (04/23/84)
" WHAT TO DO WITH THE KIDDIES UNTIL THEY LEAVE "
Now we all think (or worry, as the case may be) that OUR children are
very bright. That means we have a problem. Not just staying ahead of
the little buggers, but how not to lose all those inherited brains to
sex, drugs, and rock and roll as they progress through our hands.
My kids are bright of course. (example: my three year old daughter broke
wind at the dinner table the other night and immediately tried to pin it
on me- isn't that just too cute!)
Of course I'm most concerned about my son. He's not black, or crippled or
spanish speaking (though he sometimes likes to think of himself as a red
indian) so he can't get onto any quota list. That means he'll have to
really pay attention to the latest educational fads in school.
And thereby hangs a tale.
The other month I saw an add in a paper (I can't say which one) that professed
to help me with my problem.
"GIVE YOUR CHILD A SUPERIOR MIND"
German science triumphs!
Just send $ . . .
So I sent in my money.
I got back a WWII Nazi helmet and a mimeographed instruction sheet.
Well, don't fall for this add!! It didn't work!
The only good that came of it was that he had fewer bumps on his head.
But he only got more and more antisocial. And he started walking funny.
I think his little personality was starting to change. As is my wont,
I asked him if he was going to take care of me when I get old and infirm
and he said, "Yes" in a way that gave me pause.
The other kids started to call him penis head. (How would that look in the
High School yearbook?)
He did seem to ACT smarter, but was he? I thought of asking my wife, but what
does she know.
Anyway, after three months I made him take it off. I'm sure that the Landser
marks on his head will wear off.
We're getting back to normal now. He doesn't like to obey again.
Well, hang in there parents. It's tough but beware of all that advise and
help offered everywhere. Most of it is just bunk.
I'll never have the same trust in German science.
Regards,
Ken Arndt