[net.kids] The Kids of Shangri-La

kathleen@ihuxw.UUCP (K. S. Romanowski) (04/23/84)

I don't agree with the opinion stated in the article sent in by
Larry Bickford (originally written by Jo Kearly, San Jose).

I don't have children yet, but when I do, I know that my dedication
will be 100%.  I plan on returning to work within 3 months of my
child's birth.  For financial reasons, present and future, my
returning to work would ensure a better life for me and for my
child.  I also think that the quality of time spent with a
child is important and that they can learn to distinguish between
the parent and the day care person.  Children are wise beyond their
tender years and learn rapidly.  ( I helped my sister raise 4
children when I was in high school and feel that this early
experience taught me well.)

I just wonder what other parent's opinions are in this matter.
How many men would be willing to give up their jobs and take
full-time care of their children?  How many women earn enough
(yes, I dare say this even in our modern times) to support
the family while the husband takes care of the child (children)?
Since I am not a parent yet, my observations are merely my
opinions, not flames against Larry Bickford or anyone else.

Please post comments to the net or send them via electronic
mail to:  ihuxw!kathleen.

Thanks for listening.

Katie

fclark@convex.UUCP (04/26/84)

#R:ihuxw:-81000:convex:52900008:000:1355
convex!fclark    Apr 26 13:20:00 1984

I am a working mother.  I work for several reasons the main one being
( I am sorry if I offend home makers) that I DO NOT enjoy house cleaning
and all that goes with it....it is simply not enough for me........
even though we have two children........ I have had no problem with my
girls staying with a sitter.  We are very fortunate in that the lady
comes to our house.  I have found that if you screen your sitters and are
really interested and carefull with the people you select they can receive
excellent child care......the rest as always is left up to the parents....
I went back to work both times when my girls were two months old ..... and
believe me they have NEVER confused me for the sitter or the sitter for me.
I KNOW I spend more time quality and otherwise with the girls.  Before I
had MANY things to do ......i.e. cleaning house ugh! running errands, etc
These things still need to be done but somehow they are not such a chore 
and my girls are MUCH more involved and I enjoy spending time with them.
I cannot see where my girls have suffered from a working mother......On the
contrary I only see benefit.......I have a niece and a nephew who have
mothers that stay home.....my children are much more outgoing they relate
to other children better and seem as secure if not more secure than the
ones who stay home with mom all day long.

preece@uicsl.UUCP (04/28/84)

#R:ihuxw:-81000:uicsl:22800013:000:1536
uicsl!preece    Apr 27 22:44:00 1984

There's no question that the quality of the home experience and the
day care experience differ.  I would not have wanted my kids in day
care full time, but I would not have wanted them at home full time
either.  The interaction with other kids and the knowledge that
someone other than their parents could be nice to be with were very
important parts of their development.  Both made significant language
and skill gains after starting daycare (this was in someone's home,
with about 5 other kids).  Our elder child made a very easy transition
to nursery school because she was not scared of being away from home.

I doubt that I would have left my job to raise kids if my wife had made
more than I.  It definitely would have affected our planning.  When I
AM home (and that was a significant chunk of the normal working day
until recently) I tended to have more patience and ability to cope,
largely because I didn't have to be patient and cope all day.  Now,
working more hours and being home less, I have found that context switching
is much harder and I'm not as good at it.

If I learned that someone at the school had told my kids not to hit someone
back because Jesus said not to, I would find another school damned fast.

Your kids know when you care.  No matter how much of your time they get,
they'll always want more.  There's no reason they have to get all of it if
you can find a good care facility.  Diversity is very important in raising
kids that accept change and differences.

scott preece
ihnp4!uiucdcs!ccvaxa!preece

preece@uicsl.UUCP (04/28/84)

#R:ihuxw:-81000:uicsl:22800014:000:590
uicsl!preece    Apr 28 11:25:00 1984

	I am a working mother.  I work for several reasons the main one being
	( I am sorry if I offend home makers) that I DO NOT enjoy house
	cleaning and all that goes with it...
----------
I agree with most of what you go on to say, but I'm curious how working
gets you out of cleaning house.  My impression has been that houses get
dirty and have to be cleaned and that in any given house there are only
so many people who can share in that cleaning.  Much as I'd rather be
reading SF or doing something else useful, sooner or later I have to
clean.

scott preece
ihnp4!uiucdcs!ccvaxa!preece

fclark@convex.UUCP (04/30/84)

#R:ihuxw:-81000:convex:52900009:000:176
convex!fclark    Apr 30 13:54:00 1984


As I stated later on we are VERY fortunate that the lady comes to our home
to care for our children  she also does light housekeeping.  i.e the
girls laundry, vacuuming, etc.