benson@dcdwest.UUCP (06/19/84)
I raised two kids by myself, while working at a University. I lived in dread of my kids getting ill because I knew that I would have to do something. The somethings that I did often involved having the kid stay home by herself for periods up to 2 hours. There were other solutions, of course, such as staying home myself, child care arrangements which allowed for sickness, and having neighbors keep an eye on my children. The day care solution is a compromise of sorts. I prefer organized day care centers to women who take in kids. My experience has been that organized centers give better care. However, child care in the home will often allow sick children to come, under the assumption that the other kids have already been exposed. Having a child stay home by herself is a special decision and, I believe, depends on the child's native independence and the style of child rearing, as well as, of course, the child's age. My own parents did not leave me alone until I was a teenager. I believe that my kids were ready to spend time alone by age seven or eight. That age is not hard and fast; a child may be able to stay alone one day and not another. A certain amount of sensitivity is called for. As for children being the most important thing in life, I have mixed feelings. In an emergency where a quick decision is called for, my kids come first. Day to day, I find that there is a balance to be struck of my needs to theirs and my needs include loving other people, having fun and paying a due respect to my profession. As my children grow and become independent, I find it increasingly important for me to re-assess the balance and adjust it in my favor. This gives both me and my kids space to grow. These remarks are my recollections of how I did things and are probably self-serving. Others who knew me during my Michigan may have other recollections. Be that as it may, Sarah and Lisi turned out okay and, other than needing braces, are pretty healthy. -- _ Peter Benson | ITT Defense Communications Division (619)578-3080 | 10060 Carroll Canyon Road decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!benson | San Diego, CA 92131 ucbvax!sdcsvax!dcdwest!benson |